Heard it on the radio but managed to track it down on Youtube edition.
….with the people who taught you to love science fiction and fantasy:
“Disturbances observed in nereby shadows. Dwarkin nowhere to be found. Fionna has abandoned us. Corwin stands alone. With 73 seconds to save the multiverse, the stainless steel rat bit down hard on his right rear molar.”
“Did you try lighting the beacons to Gondor?
“Benedict cannot save us. Fionnas business administration enchantments might help. Assume command of the Command Chair and bring order to the multiverse. Captain preparing for blastoff.”
“Advise Oberon to seek council in Shadow. If Elrond not available Lord Vetinari will do.
The rats will guide you.”
“The rats cannot help us.
Liftoff in Five four three 2 one
The force be with you.”
“And also with you.”
Waitaminute do the subs only go up to episode 14? Uh oh…
Heroine is practicing the guitar piece Evil Uncle said he would grant a boon to anyone who played correctly. (it’s about his dead wife. I wonder if he killed her?) Apparently she does resemble the wife. Also no one is allowed to speak wife’s name on pain of pain.
Apparently, she just aced the song, if that smirk means anything.
Wow, I really like this heroine. Fourteen episodes in and she is HASN’T GOTTEN ANY DUMBER. Than she was to begin with. Hey, small victories, here.
Hm, Uncle is having flashbacks to his wife……
“I’m the same kind of person as you. Even with the smallest chance, I won’t give up.” Good girl!
Uncle admits defeat…..however, he has an ulterior motive.
Hero is presiding over a very G-rated orgy….his buddies aren’t happy.
They present heroine as “wedding present from uncle.” Ha, the henchbuddies are too smart to follow orders and drag her out, they leave themselves.
“I know you’re angry at me, but I did it for you. I’m miserable about seeing you so depressed.” “Is that all you came to say? Or is my Uncle just not good enough for you and you came over to me?” Sheesh, lover’s quarrels. JUST SPIT IT OUT THAT THEY ARE GOING TO ATTACK AT THE WEDDING THAT IS THE IMPORTANT POINT GOOD GRIEF.
SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM! WHAT THE HELL? WHA…..
Stop looking at her crying….oh, he did. Bad boy!
SHUT UP UNCLE.
Oh, he had men watching in case she did warn him. But he’s sniggering over the fact that they weren’t needed, they were just arguing about little petty things.Evil bastard.
Gadget Sidekick unfolded puzzle into a map. Dad did leave…..
Damn this guy is dense.
Hero has assembled his faithful minions; he’s only been *acting* like a depressed twerp…..WE TOTALLY WEREN’T FOOLED BOSS….uh, Pale Pink Guy is definitely a traitor.
He has his own men planted; they’re going to counter-attack at the wedding. He and the henchbuddies drink a toast! Those goblets are definitely plastic, but okay.
Jealous Girl just showed up to visit Hero….oh, she’s just now figuring out that he does not, in fact, want to marry her….and that this is probably a ploy; however, just his men and his planted soldiers aren’t going to be enough with her brother and his uncle. “I just want to become your Empress a little earlier,” Dress hits floor….
“Put your clothes back on.”
“Team Panic Attack! Let’s do it!”
“My heart is beating so hard…I feel like I’m going to faint.”
“Uh, well, don’t stand right next to the stairwell, then…”
“Well, guys! This is our last class. What do we say…?”
“So there is a dirty little secret in the cranial nerve world that we don’t tell you until you get here. Yes, we don’t tell you about it in Junior High, we didn’t tell you in your Introductory Biology class….you only get to learn about it here.”
“So say you are a student who wants to be a doctor. Because you are very smart! But you don’t like people very much. And you don’t want to study hard. Not that I have ever had a student like this…and you get very mad at poor Dr. K because he gives you a bad grade. And you decide to find out where I live and run me down!”
“So you fail at running me down. But you hit my cat. And I rush out, tears pouring down my face, and rush my poor cat back into my refridgerator….yes, right next to the lentil soup….”
Via crunchleaf’s twitter:
I think Faithful Maidservant is going to jump…..
Or no, just showing him the flower mark on her shoulder. She thinks that he is the love of the Goddess of Shooting Stars Flower (heroine). Is Nice Hair going to jump?
SOMEONE’S GOING TO END UP JUMPING BEFORE THIS SCENE IS OVER.
Oh, she’s the amulet and she’s telling him to kill her. She’s some kind of flip side to Heroine’s life, according to Creepy Robed Guy. (Who IS he??)
Yep, she jumped.
Poor guy. And he’s still not even going to get the other girl, either.
Yep, amulet. She dead.
Jealous Girl is not happy with what her servant came up with (it was maidservant’s idea to trick heroine into breaking the guitar). HAHA: “You’ve been with me so long. When did I teach you evil behavior?” “B-but—” “Shut up.”
Heroine is searching Evil Uncle’s house for Golden Macguffin and also appears to be wearing a carpet.
Uncle does seem kind of infatuated with her. OTOH, he knows she’s only protecting Hero. “I would rather sleep with someone else’s woman who thinks of me than sleep with the woman beside me who thinks of another.” AND HE KNOWS THAT JEALOUS GIRL WAS THE ONE WHO STOLE THE GUITAR, DAMN….yikes, he just gave Heroine a box with someone’s severed hands, the servant girl who made the switch?
Nice Hair….Faithful Maidservant’s still alive? Oh, no. It was just a dream.
SOME SUBTITLES ARE MISSING!
Also the Ineffective and Obstructive Teachers are after him.
Nice Hair: I have someone to bury, I’ll come back later.
Nice Hair: RAAAAAAAA I TOLD YOU ALL LATERRRR! [Kung-fu SMASHES]
Our Hero is lurching around playing blind-man’s-bluff with maidservants and then lurches into Jealous Girl. Hero: “Why YOU?”
NO DON’T KISS HER
NO DON’T MARRY HER, UGH
Gadget Dad and Gadget Sidekick are having some bonding time…..HAH….Dad just drugged Sidekick, or something….why are you so mean to the cute boy? I mean, he’s as dense as a box of rocks, but he’s a nice guy who just wants to be your disciple! (Sidekick annoying the HECK out of Dad was pretty funny.)
The Queen is pitching a fit, but in other words grass is green. She’s having a nostalgic flashback….in the past after they were bickering, he left her a doll that apologizes for him and has a little flowerbud in its hand. Now that’s actually cute. But sheesh, lady, it’s been eighteen years just let it lie. Seriously.
And now she’s practicing with her sword.
Y’know, I kind of like this Queen.
Also Dad snuck back into the palace to watch? IDIOT?! Also don’t perv on your ex. This is NOT gonna end well.
Have I mentioned that hero has a habit of raising his chin and looking down his nose in an extremely poseful manner while maintaining a haughty poker face? He does. It’s hot cute. Hero asks Uncle to marry Jealous Girl, even though her brother is Evil Henchman.
SUBTITLES ARE MISSING HELP!
“Do you WANT to be a puppet?” “Dead or alive, puppet or not. What does it matter.”
SKIP EVIL UNCLE HUMILIATING HERO
Evil Henchman is not particularly happy that Evil Uncle decided to marry his sister (Jealous Girl) to Hero. Also heroine is eavesdropping. They’re going to attack at the wedding. (she has super-hearing.)
Gadget Sidekick is hung over….
Gadget Dad left him some sort of puzzle cube.
Episode ends. Yeah right.
Nice Hair Hero gets himself exiled from the palace along with Faithful Maidservant (at least his mother feels slightly bad about it); Faithful Maidservant is mixed up in the prophecy and has a TragicBackstoryTM, also is involved with a mysterious creepy guy who tells her she only has a slim chance of survival. B/c of something to do with the amulet….or something.
Evil Regent Uncle is making a play to become Evil King. Also there is a mysterious musician guy who (edit: turns out, is evil uncle, in calm mode) gives heroine a music lesson, just in time for Jealous Wingkind Girl to cause a major scene vis-a-vis Evil Uncle’s prize guitar and uh oh he’s about to rape her? Uh….no; she reminds him of his dead wife or something. Also Evil Uncle’s Henchman looks like a Chinese Luke Evans, seriously.
Hm. Evil Uncle is only evil; Evil Henchman is totally vile. Evil Henchman is Jealous Girl’s brother.
Also a whip (hero’s weapon) is a pretty useless weapon.
“The things uncle and nephew like have always been the same.”
“SHE IS A PERSON.”
Ah, Jealous Girl tricked Heroine into breaking Uncle’s dead wife’s guitar, or something.
Uncle and Nephew are having a staredown.
So….she’s staying with Uncle? He said something to her? Hero is taking this about as well as could be expected. (Those verbal bitchslaps calling him on all the times he was legitimately mean to her were a little excessive though. Boy looks like a kicked puppy. (Also, Gadget Sidekick rescued Heroine’s father and is now sidekick to dad. Dad is not taking this with grace.)
Also I forgot to mention: people have been falling off cliffs every other episode or so, and they’re all the same cliff.