Readlist: Who knows….

solomon-kane-2009-movie-posterSo because I recently rediscovered the joys of kitschy space-western anime, I haven’t been watching any. Instead, courtesy of youtuber Raz0rFist’s The Shadowcast podcast, I’ve been reading:

– Walter B. Gibson / Maxwell Grant – The Shadow 007 – The Silent Seven

– The Shadow 008 – The Black Master

– The Shadow 009 – Mobsmen on the Spot

– Jane Austen – Lady Susan

I also attempted watching the 2009 Solomon Kane movie, but my thoughts on the first (sigh) ten minutes are, summed verbatim:

This movie stupid, yo.

TLDR: Just because a couple of youtube yahoos liked it, doesn’t mean it’s actually good.

– Hey, remember when they would actually film things on outdoor sets with extras dressed in costumes, instead of everything being just computer generated? Good times, good times….
– Interestingly nasty moment where Solomon (that is James Purefoy under there, yes?) toys with a guy before stabbing him in the throat, but hey it looked cool.
– Oh, I wonder if those ominous open-mouthed portal things that all the expendable extras just walked directly up to have any kind of ominous significance.
– Oh, wow, you’re not even trying to make it subtle, movie.
– Solomon Kane would NEVER say “I am the only devil here.” That’s something the villain would say. At the OUTERMOST OUTSIDE chance, you could have a young wastrel of a pre-avenging Puritan SK in the ragged band, but no. Failure to fundamentally understand your character.
– Ding! Hero turns the tables, easily, after the twelfth–not the eleventh–hour. After the ladder has already passed equilibrium, after the bombs have exploded, after the villain has actually, by fair and obvious evidence, WON. The heroes can only succeed by having the narrative cheat in their favor. Heroes do not win by their own effort, their own skill, or strength. Heroes suck, heroism doesn’t exist, fuck you for trying. Fuck you right back, Hollywood. This is why I don’t buy movies, and this is why I watch 1970s anime instead of your 2021 big budget flops.
– Subtlety? What’s subtlety?
– Okay, what the hell. Why is Solomon Kane, PURITAN AVENGER, doing in a CATHOLIC MONASTERY. Movie, I wanted to like you.
– WHAT’S SUBTLETY, PRECIOUS? WHAT’S SUBTLETY, EHHH?

OvErHeArD

“I’ve been at this job two….two?…sounds about right, two months. I have not figured it out.”

“K, what about the signature page?”
“Looks signed to me.”

“Hey, E how are you doing?”
“Doing okayy!”
“Dogs, horses, kids?”
“I have too many of all of those.”

“So, before we go for lunch, we did decide we were going to celebrate National Bosses Day–”
[Supervisor] “That would be a fake holiday.”

“So [USDA] are now inspecting birds.”
“Game birds, pet birds, exhibition birds–what kind of birds?”
“…birds.”

“Some of the food manufacturers have over 700 ingredients.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, that’s a lot to say grace over.”

“I missed you guys.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“…I knew this was going to be a tough crowd.”

Almost Instant Single-Serve Brownies

Or: how to construct an acceptable delivery vehicle for molten chocolate chips when you have the munchies.

  • 10 g flour
  • 10 g oats
  • 10 g cocoa powder
  • ~ 5 g sweetener of choice
  • 2-3 g baking powder (important! do not forget!)
  • 2-3 g salt, or enough to cut the bitter taste from the cocoa powder
  • 30 g chocolate chips (was supposed to be ~20 but the bag slipped), and this amount worked really well.
  • ~ 2 g miso paste
  • You need: about a tablespoon of oil/yogurt/egg yolks/milk, too, but I forgot it on the first round.

– Combine dry ingredients.

– Combine miso paste with water, add to 

– Hang on, all microwaveable dishes are still in the sink dishwashing station. Turn oven on to 350 and break out the muffin tin. As written, recipe made two standard muffins. Prepare muffin tin.

– Combine miso + water with dry ingredients. Pour in muffin tin.

– Hm, plants need watering.

– Bake for the amount of time it takes to fill two gallon jugs in a standard kitchen sink and then to empty them. 

– These were actually really good: the interior was almost completely melted chocolate chips but the exterior was nicely held together. This amount of ingredients makes two and hence by simple math tripling the recipe makes six.

rain, rain

“Are you good to drive in this?”
“I can still see the road, it’s fine. It’ll be clear by the time we get to [town], and I don’t remember any low-water crossings at [x]’s place.”
“Well, seeing the road is great, I’m just thinking about what if a deer jumps out.”
“Deer aren’t going to be out in this heavy rain.”
“Yeah, they’re not smart like we are.”
“…yeah…”