Giant prehistoric cats discovered

–in museum drawer.

Insert own “because cats, you see, like drawers, hneh hneh hneh” joke here.

Simbakubwa kutokaafrika (“Big Lion From Out of Africa”) was a hyaenodont–one of the apex predators which prowled the African proto-savannahs during the Oligocene (after the dinosaurs, before the primates started getting uppity). It was larger than a polar bear.

“The most striking feature of Simbakubwa is the size of the specimen,” their study reads. “Based on its massive dentition, the animal was significantly larger than any modern African terrestrial carnivore.” Dentition refers to the development of teeth, a key element of studying ancient fossils.

Using known methods of extrapolating body mass from teeth, scientists estimate that the big cat weighed approximately 1,308 kilograms, or an astonishing 2,888 pounds.

Nice kitty!

On a related note, I spent a chunk of this morning cleaning an unholy black goo from the ear canals of a normal-sized cat with an infection. The cat was maybe ten pounds. Multiply that by a factor of 200….the mind boggles.

Hmmm….the adventures of a prehistoric veterinarian….now there’s an idea with potential….

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If I want to buy a dinosaur

–and I have funds, then I should be able to buy a freaking dinosaur and enjoy looking at it in the peace and comfort of my own private home. If I want to!

Buzz off, SVP.

Someone is trying to sell a juvenile T-Rex skeleton on Ebay. The Society of Vertebrate Paleontology is wringing its hands. As of right now, the Ebay listing is comfy at nearly 3,000,000.00$.

“Hey, wanna go in half on a–oh.”
“On a what? A treadmill?”
“I mean, I was going to make a joke about it but then I actually saw the price and I’m not gonna.”
“What is it?”
“A baby T-Rex fossil.”
“Oh. How much is it? A million dollars?”
“It’s getting close to three million.”
“Oh….well. You know, if I had the money, I definitely would not spend it on that.”
“Yeah…fair enough.”

Weekend Watchlist & Misc

I was largely without internet access over the weekend, so here’s a collection of things transfered over from my phone.

– Bleedingfool reviews Quo Vadis and articulates some of the things I hold against Game of Thrones.

– Remember that thing I posted last year about the flash frozen foal in a Siberian crater? They’re necropsying it, and found liquid blood and urine inside. Cool, right?

Watchlist:

– The Hard Man
This is a noir film disguised as a Western. Guy Madison (also seen in the really, really terrible Bullwhip) as our too-quick-on-the-draw but straight-shooting hero; Lorne Green as the brutal and powerful villain, and Valerie (who looks vaguely like Gia Scala, but isn’t) as his femme fatale of a wife, Fern.
So, although Fern is introduced as a fairly dark femme fatale, I was still hoping she would make it out alive and end up forming a family unit with the hero and requisite cute orphaned boy. A strong case could be made for sympathy just based on the way her husband treats her….which is roughly on par with how he treats everybody else. He’s a bad, mean, sonuvabitch. She’s also someone who can almost handle him, who keeps her cool under provocation, is capable of taking matters into her own hands (at one point, she actually does pick up a gun and try to shoot her husband…if it’d had bullets in it, the movie would have been over), and still shows a modicum of warmth and decency towards the orphaned boy.
So.
Pretty good movie, but it turns out I was rooting for the bad guy (girl) the whole time. Oops.

Mr & Mrs Smith
I forgot how good this movie is!
I also forgot how bad it is.
My lifelong ambition to be Angelina Jolie when I grow up continues unabated.
Brad Pitt’s abs are really something to behold.

The Notebooks of The Riders of Skaith

  • Choose your words carefully.  An unwary turn of phrase can lead to unintended consequences. *cough*
  • Caveat Cheator.
  • Don’t be sarcastic.
  • It doesn’t take much to impress people. Sometimes making an effort is all you need.
  • Don’t use sarcasm when writing important essays.
  • The center cannot hold: things fall apart. And yet you court this tornado and expect to lead the dance?
  • Don’t write important essays while undercaffeinated.
  • For the love of God, don’t be sarcastic on graded documents that have your name on them!