Lovely Swords Girl – Episode 1-4

lovely2bgirlThis one starts energetically, with a young bride who discovers to her utter dismay that her new husband is basically retarded. Furthermore, as her mother in law points out mercilessly, he was her own choice! She had met him before (he saved her runaway donkey, so, you know, love at first Cdrama sight), and he was fairly normal then…So given the choice, she chose him– and she is now stuck with him and the family….and the mother in law.

Meanwhile elsewhere, there’s a flashback describing why her father decided to marry her into the family (the Gong family)–to avoid their clan/sect being destroyed. So: our retarded hero went crazy several years before, after going up against the Ghost Massacre Sect. He’s the only one who can stand up to them…even if the price is his mind…and the Ghost Massacre Sect is living up to its name and slaughtering other clans. There have been others who were cured of this madness–by the heroine?? or at least by their clan–so the marriage alliance is going to hopefully be mutually beneficial. Mind you, actually telling her about this would have been a VERY GOOD IDEA… because she is not dealing with it at all well.

But! The mother in law makes her a deal. If she can stand it for two years without changing her mind, they will give her a divorce. (Mother in law actually does kind of like her, even though she’s an obnoxious MIL in public.) Hubby hero has a good heart. It’s just that he is…well…genuinely retarded. It’s like having a human-sized, semi-housetrained puppy that you can’t actually return to the pound.

But our heroine is a genuine heroine (it looks like), and the fate of her clan and many others, unknowingly, rests upon her. So after episode 2 (“One Hundred Unsuccessful Ways At Escaping A Marriage”) proves… unsuccessful–and she realizes that, idiot or not, he’s kind of cute, and he means well–she finally sets to work….

– The heroine trying to strangle herself with her own hair cracked me up. (“Oh yeah, I tried that once. It doesn’t work.”)
– Heroine: “My kung fu is second to none! If anybody gets in my way, I will handle him impolitely!” Heroine’s loyal maid: “My kung fu is slightly inferior to hers!”
– I genuinely want to tell the brother in laws to f*ck off, they’re really obnoxious. I’m pretty sure they’re reasonable guys under different circumstances, but you genuinely conspired and tricked her into marrying a retard and now you’re mad that she’s mad? Fuck off. Seriously.
– HA, she does get some revenge on them later….and their mother is NOT SYMPATHETIC. Hah, she tells THEM to go out and get married. That was very therapeutic. I hope one of them falls for a servant girl.
– HA, she does it twice. But I do genuinely hope someone kicks Second Brother’s ass, he’s obnoxious.
– The family doctor having a cute daughter he needs to get a book for…for her to roll around on…because she’s actually a hedgehog…(and the sad lute playing when he has a breakdown–and pausing when he pauses to take in her reaction)–AHAHAHAHA.
– The Ghost Massacre Sect has a magic kung fu power by which adepts can become a) very fat, b) turn into CGI tumbleweed balls and unconvincingly kill people. Well, it’s nice to see the Chinese get into the representation thing.
– The family finally accepting the heroine was nice….even if they do let her get beaten when when she screws up.
– LOL, the reveal that the heroine’s mother DEFINITELY wore the pants in the family and had her husband totally and completely cowed….was rather amusing.

Rated: It drove me just slightly batty to only be able to get the first five episodes….so I now have a Chinese streaming app on my phone, for which I have basically no data to actually, you know, STREAM. If my phone comes down with the coronavirus, know that I died happy.

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