The Romance of Hua Rong – Ep 23

I was afraid to start this up again–because once it’s done, it’s going to be done. 😦

Anyhow. HR, SC, and the guy they rescued in the previous episode get away by hiding in an oddly convenient underground cave. Within seconds, they also uncover a secret door, a tunnel, a gate, and a grave with a mysterious sigil on it. Shang Cheng recognizes the sign, it seems, but leads the others out to safety first.
And with very little more ado, they meet up with the rest of the party…..only for Hua Rong to swoon temporarily into Shang Cheng’s arms. She’s just tired and hungry! (She’s pregnant, isn’t she.)

OK, meanwhile: the bad guys are being baddies. They can’t attack Mengdie Villa face-on, but…..there is the matter of a spy. Wait, is this another spy? The camera ostentatiously stays away from his face, even as the prince promises him the villa, and Miss Tang. Wait…who is that guy again anyway?? Is that Mr. Ye?? I’ve, uh, forgotten.

Back to our leads, Shang Cheng is keeping watch over a resting Hua Rong. She has slept for twenty-four hours! (She’s pregnant, isn’t she.) Shang Cheng has stayed awake to watch her for twenty-four hours! He’ll only go away and get some sleep if he gets a kiss! Juuuust one kiss. OK THEN LET THE SKINSHIP COMMENCE–AAaaaaand like clockwork, that is when someone comes to the door. It’s Miss Tang (LOL, HR’s irritated hairflick and CS’s alarmed side-eye)–but she has brought them gifts…a matched couples’ gifts. She also sweetly thanks them for helping rescue her father, apologizes for trying to break them up, and wishes them well. HR, embarassed, assures her that they will be sisters and friends. Also, those prop cups look pretty sweet…..wait, don’t tell me there’s something wrong with those cups….oh no…

SO. Back in the little shrine for CS’s father, Tang Dad and Shang Cheng offer their respects and then start getting down to business. Tang Dad and Adoptive Dad were both pirate bros, until Tang Dad made a mistake! They found the two white jades that were the treasure maps, but Adoptive Dad thought that getting the treasure would be too risky and public. The end result was both of them taking one jade and separating–until the Black Dragon Gang killed Adoptive Dad. Moral of the story: the evil prince must not get the jade.

Shang Cheng swears that he will kill the evil prince for his father and for the sake of the world. Hua Rong, meanwhile, has a surge of nausea. (SHE”S PREGNANT ISN”T SHE). Also, Mr. Ye is looking REALLY SUSPICIOUS.

YEAH SHE”S PREGNANT….or wait, she only seems so. She’s poisoned. The poison is slow-acting and will kill her in three days unless she gets the antidote. So where did the poison come from….? Twenty seconds’ detective work by Blue Bro shows that, duh duh dun [that was originally a typo but I leave it], it comes from Miss Tang’s gift cups. One problem, though: Hua Rong seized on to the dragon-cup which Shang Cheng originally wanted. So was someone trying to poison him….?

Oh, dear. It was Mr. Ye. He chose the cups….and has now run off and is trying to cut the ropes of the rope bridge. BUT SHANG CHENG ARRIVES WITH A FLYING KICK! YEAH! He proceeds to beat the stuffing out of Mr. Ye. They demand an explaination!

Mr. Jin susses out that, indeed, Ye was suborned by the evil prince, and that the poison was aimed at Shang Cheng, not Hua Rong. But there is no antidote, he gloats. SC offers him one last chance: antidote or death. Ye doesn’t think he’s going to live anyway and dares him.

Miss Tang steps in! Why! Why did her martial brother do this horrible thing?…for her, it turns out. He was jealous of CS and knows he has no chance at her now in this life….but hopes that they will meet again in the next. And then throws himself backwards off a cliff, damn. Well, that’s stylish way to go.

Back at the house, Hua Rong is still passed out. Miss Tang tries to express her sympathies, but what the man wants right now is the chance to be alone with his wife. He flashes back to all the romantic examples of him getting hurt, her collapsing into his arms, etc. He recalls his promise to protect her….oh dear. He’s going to give up the jade, isn’t he?

So that morning, the Bros are desperately trying to dissuade SC from going to the prince. Mr. Jin steps in….he’s also going to go along. But then, Tang Dad stops them both! He has found a way to save her! There is a doctor famous for poisons (and healing), blah blah blah…long story short: the antidote will be with the treasure if it exists. The problem with this plan is: a) they don’t have the treasure, b) they don’t have the other half of the treasure map, c) they don’t even know if the antidote does exist.

Plan B is push the poison out of Hua Rong using inner force power….at the cost of one’s own life when the poison transfers its host. Shang Cheng is more than ready to do this. There is too much risk to the world if the treasure is found, and his life’s work is to protect Hua Rong….so he is ready.

…(I’m pretty sure Miss Tang going to die somehow during this process)…

So, SC does a mystical punching thing, and HR is pronounced sleeping by Tang Dad, she’ll wake up in two days…OK, so what about the….oh no, SC collapses. The poison entered him instead. YOU GUYS!!! I REFUSE TO HAVE AN UNHAPPY ENDING. NO. WILL NOT HAPPEN. SCREW THIS.

….Shang Cheng has one last request of Miss Tang. Anything.

WHAT THE HELL? HE WANTS TO MARRY HER WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! SCREW THIS WHERE IS MY FLUFFY HAPPY FEEL GOOD DRAMA THIS IS NOT FINE. NO!!!!!

Shang Cheng is all dressed up in red, and then Mr. Jin comes storming in, demanding an explaination. I”M RIGHT WITH YOU BUDDY. WHAT THE HELL. SHUT UP MISS TANG. Mr Jin shuts her down NICELY. “I never thought you were like this. You are not my friend.” YES. WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!?

So SC tells Mr. Jin that he’s left Hua Rong, and now’s his chance….he, SC, is doing the right thing…while Mr. Jin retorts that he’s not treating Hua Rong right. And, per their “if you ever do anything to hurt her” agreement, SC is now in for suffering. Well, that’s totally true, even I can see that.

And, meanwhile! Hua Rong finally wakes up! She’s all alone, and the household is all preparing for the wedding….and the servants don’t answer her questions…until finally they do.

This is all a very sophisticated Operation Jealousy, isn’t it??

Hua Rong, quite reasonably given the circumstances, wants to hear this from Shang Cheng’s mouth himself.

A very emotional scene follows: why, what’s going on, I don’t believe you, you bore me, etc. Well, I say emotional because they’re both very emotional. Meanwhile, I JUST WANT THIS STUPID PLOTLINE TO FINISH THIS IS STUPID GO BACK TO BEING CUTE AND IN LOVE ALREADY GRRRRRRRRRR

SC is concealing the fact that he took the poison from HR. He’s just trying to hurt her and make her let go….he tells her that she needs to meet someone else who will take care of her and make her happy…. and then says good-bye and walks away while she cries! and tears off the necklace he made her! and flings it down on the ground! And runs away in slow-mo!…only for DUMBASS CHANG SHENG to come back and pick it up. BOY YOU ARE THE DUMBEST. SERIOUSLY.

So they/he? has some flashbacks of her beating up on him, and him saving her, and them reassuring each other and crying over each other….COME ON WITH THE STUPID PLOTLINE….
….and then he spits up some blood.

RATED: SHEESH YOU COULD JUST HAVE, YOU KNOW, GONE SOMEWHERE ELSE IF YOU WANTED TO DIE OUT OF HER SIGHT. THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO NEED FOR THIS ENTIRE CHARADE SETUP. DO NOT LIKE. DO NOT WANT.