Today just keeps on giving

The (deep breath) Artemis Fowl movie is released on Disney+ streaming tomorrow. Critical reviews, however, are in, and….

YEAH I TOLD YOU SO I EFFING TOLD YOU DIDN’T I.

Rotten Tomatoes: as of now, it’s at 14, oh my, ahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAH excuse me, 13%.

The AV Club website has a review and plot breakdown that’s frankly too painful for me to recap here. Slashfilm rates it as 1/10 from a book reader’s perspective.

Look, guys. If you wanted to make a movie called STUPID KID AND THE FAIRIES, you should have effing called it Stupid Kid and the Fairies. NOT ARTEMIS FOWL. I’m probably not going to fly the black flag and obtain this movie off the high seas even just to make fun of how bad it is. Because this is just depressing.

It’s going, well, I don’t know if bomb is the correct word, but, y’know. Whatever.

#TheMouseMustDie

 

 

 

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