Non-CDrama watchlist

– Extraction: it’s basically Commando. It’s what you watch when you want to watch a muscly man doing shooty things while being all tacticool and stuff and there’s a kid.- Operation Petticoat: this movie is consistently hilarious and I really kind of love it.
– Jhodaa Akbar: I just realized that I based one of my heroines’ appearance off of Aishwarya Rai in this movie….and Aishwarya Rai’s jewelry.
– Padmavaat: I really like elements and scenes and performances from this movie. Unfortunately, the whole thing never pulls completely together. So you have some very striking scenes–the love scenes between Padmavati and whats-his-face, for instance; or the scene where the villain rises up from a coma to strangle an assassin while his wife stares in horror and his sidekick just watches and grins approvingly–but the two plotlines are so distinct it never really feels like they should have any interaction. I’d have watched an entire movie about Ranveer Singh’s villain–he’s that charismatic of a character/actor–but even though the plot is driven by his obsession with Padmavati…it never really actually is. I’d have watched a movie about Deepika Padukone and her doomed love affair….but that movie kept being intruded upon by the story of a vicious warlord and his conquests. Deepika Padukone is an amazing actress, though. Also the songs are great.
– Krrish: eh, the songs in this one aren’t that catchy.
– Krissh 3: This is a decent, solid superhero movie with some decent sci-fi flourishes. Also, I like the songs.
– The Dragon Prince: unexpectedly engrossing, despite the juvenile dialogue. Not sure why the elves have Scottish accents, but still. I made it about seven episodes in, so, it’s pretty darned decent.
– The Mentalist, S01: giving your main character a personality is a really smart screenwriting trick. Hollywood really ought to take more advantage of this and, y’know, DO IT MORE OFTEN.
– The Mentalist, S02: this show would be amazing if they focused slightly more on the characters with genuine personalities. The male lead Jane has a personality, the big sidekick Rigsby has one, the chick sidekick Van Pelt kinda has one, the smart Asian sidekick Cho has one…and the female lead Lisbon does not. The mysteries themselves aren’t actually that interesting, either….at all.
So what we’re left with is: scraps of interesting characters, occasionally intriguing scenarios, and the looming but completely unbelievable threat of woe is us the unstoppable serial killer. Serial killers? Only exit due to police incompetence. There is no such thing as a genius serial killer, only uncaring and inept police departments. That’s it.
– Fulltime Killer: I had a sudden hankering for heroic bloodshed. This was one of the ones I remembered as being better than it seemed to have any reason for being. It is, but it still has gaps where I *didn’t* remember there being. Interesting.
– Red Cliff: NO IT’S NOT A DRAMA IT’S DIFFERENT I JUST WANTED SOME VIOLENCE OK. Some of the scenes I remembered quite vividly, like the young King’s general taking him tiger hunting…and sends him out into the brush–alone–and takes all but one only one arrow–and nods with approval when the young man returns. Or when the rambunctious Princess expresses her opinion of a chauvinistic advisor (prompting cringes from the guy who sees it coming). Or when she expresses her opinion of the political marriage she’s just been volunteered for (prompting cringes from everyone else in the room). Or the scene with the strategist and the arrows on the barges…Also, the save-the-pregnant-woman fight was a very good way to wrap up after so much epic warfare.
– GI JOE: The Rise of Cobra. So. I watched this one on a whim to see if the things I remembered liking about it were still good. They were! Thing is, everything I remembered being terrible about it was still terrible.
Things I liked: the villains. Budget Scarlett Johanssen in a tight black catsuit, and a Korean guy whose name I will pretend not to remember (look, I know his name ‘cuz he was in Iris, OK? I’m not an obsessed fangirl. Anymore.) in a tight white ninja suit? Cool, charismatic, and surprisingly awesome given their limited screentime. Also liked: Ray Park’s hero ninja guy. He was pretty awesome.
To boil it down, what I liked about the movie was the cheesy, fun, enthusiastic and high-energy parts that reminded me of Nick Fury: Agent of Shield.
Things I didn’t like: basically every other part of the movie, which focuses on actors who have the looks and charisma of potatoes, playing characters who have the intelligence of potatoes, and a script that was written by someone who, well, I’m out of potato-related metaphors, but wanted to do A Serious Movie, Yaaaay, instead of a fun, surprisingly-earnest, cheesy, and occasionally clever supaheroh! flick.
OK, I just persuaded myself to go watch Nick Fury again.
– A Frozen Flower: So there’s this king who needs an heir. Problem is, he’s gay. He’s super gay. But he needs that heir because people are trying to dethrone him. So he comes up with the bright idea of having his boyfriend sleep with the queen. Problem is, the boyfriend kind of is really getting into this whole heterosexuality thing and the queen is all over it, and the king is just kinda out there going, “Hey guys, this wasn’t supposed to happen. You guys? Guys?” while the two of them are going at it like bunnies. And then everybody dies horribly.
…I feel bad for finding this movie kind of hilarious, given that it’s supposed to be very tragic. But seriously, no one saw any of that coming? Really?
– Soul of the Sword: Man. This is a Shaw Bros martial arts movie about an arrogant young swordsman who murders everyone else in the entire cast. It’s also morbidly hilarious, simply because the hero character, though charismatic, is that arrogantly unsympathetic….and so are all the other people he kills.