Who Would Win?

Ashok Vadal vs Harry Dresden.
Yikes, I have no idea what would happen here, except that Harry is going to run his mouth and Ashok is going to be suspicious and grumpy. Thing is, I can’t see these guys continuing to fight after they’ve both figured out they’re on the side of the Good Guys. In my version of things, most of these Who Would Win matches end with both parties having a drink and swapping yarns somewhere.
Thera and Murphy…mind you, I’m pretty sure they’d actually get along excellently, but if it’s a matter of either of them seeing their boys in trouble, they’d definitely wade right in. Normally I’d say that Murphy has the definite physical combat advantage (multiple black belts and all, y’know), but if it’s post-Skin Game Murphy with a bad leg, and if Thera (can’t throw a knife worth a damn because her hands are messed up), the odds would even out a little bit more. Hey, maybe the boys aren’t going to fight at all, maybe they’re just busy dragging their ladies apart…

Harry Dresden vs John Carter, Lord Greystoke.
Are you kidding me? There isn’t going to be a fight. Harry is going to be fanboying so hard he gets caught off guard by the Pelluciderean Neanderthal ninjas under command of the vengeful Therns of Barsoom allied with the insane Russian and a bundle of hired thugs from the south side who tried to jump him earlier and are now aiming to kidnap the womenfolk, and then has to pitch in to help afterwards. Murphy gets kidnapped on account of being a blonde female in the company of the heroes and thus obviously a damsel.
Murphy has strong opinions about this.

John Carter, Lord Greystoke vs Conan of Cimmeria
Like I said, this is only ever going to end with them having a drink somewhere quiet. Maybe in a tavern somewhere, but more probably out of a wineskin and to the accompaniment of a haunch of fresh-killed venison hot off the smoky coals, or whatever.

Ashok Vadal vs Benedict of Amber
Oh, wow. If it did come to a fight, Benedict is going to win hands-down, and the most Ashok is going to do is make him raise a sweat. But realistically, Ashok lucked out in this one, because it’s quite obvious Benedict isn’t there for a fight. Benedict has come back, after an unavoidably long hiatus–perhaps he was imprisoned in Chaos; perhaps he was guarding another relation and could not leave; perhaps an enemy interfered with the flow of time–
–to see to his children’s wellfare.
Ramrowan is obviously Benedict, or at least a Shadow of Benedict.–the greatest strategist or tactician or combatant who ever lived in the multiverse, but who also realizes the horror of war and the worth of a human life. He’d have some answers for Ashok, and he’d give them straight.

Solomon Kane vs Corwin of Amber
Solomon Kane, the solemn, fanatical Puritan avenger, has been on the trail of an evil man like a starving wolf follows the scent of blood. From one end of the world to the other he has been at his heels, and yet somehow stumbles into an ambush anyway.
(This always happens).
Corwin of Amber pauses in his hellride when he sees a half-familiar form in a desperate fight, one man against many, cut and tattered and blooded with many wounds. He turns aside in his journey through Shadow and goes to help, even though this is but the Shadow of the man he once knew, back in the days before the court of the Sun King fell.
Kane recounts his tale of woe and vengeance and his godly mission. Corwin rides with him to see it done and fights with him, one last time.
Kane invites the stranger to stay and ride with him a while, but Corwin demurs. He has a brother to murder and a multiverse to conquer, and, with a courteous salute and a reckless laugh, spurs his horse. And yet the words his once-companion calls after him ring on the wind, strangely to his ears: “What profitteth it a man if he gain the whole world and lose his soul?”

Sweetheart Tiger

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“Hey S, is Harry….really as friendly as he looks? I mean…does he really like people as much as he, like, seems to?” “He’s a six hundred pound tiger. I would not use the word ‘friendly’ to describe him ever.”

But he really is a sweetheart anyway.