THIS JUST IN: PEACE TALKS HAVE COM[TRANSMISSION LOST]

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS I WARNED YOU

– ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH
– So if you’ve read the plot synopsis or watched the trailer, you know what the general outline is.
– Outside of that, this book is mostly the setup for Battle Grounds–it’s setting up Harry Dresden in relation to everyone and everything else that’s going to happen.
– GUESS WHAT HAPPENS. NO, GO ON. GUESS. 
– Not that we didn’t expect them to, but the peace talks fall through, because everyone should have known that the Fomor are…man, what is the Fomor’s actual problem?!??? I mean, it’s got to be hard living as beings of concentrated and complete assholery without redeeming values, right?
– I’ve always distrusted Lara. She is a genuine monster. She has no regard for human beings. But. She genuinely cares about Thomas. I’ll give her props for that.
– Goodman Grey complaining that apparently everybody and their kid brother who saw a spy movie once is watching Justine? Lol.
– HARRY PAYING GOODMAN GREY WITH A WADDED-UP DOLLAR THAT’S BEEN THROUGH THE WASH?
– HARRY LUVS MURPHY AND MURPHY LUVS HARRY AND THEY BURN LARA RAITH BOOYA SUCK IT MURPHYS HATERS
– MURPHY HAS A VALKYRIE FANGIRL HITTING ON HER BECAUSE MURPHY IS HARDCORE I LOVE MURPHY SUCK IT MURPHY HATERS
– McCoy is dead. I mean, he’s still walking around right now, but the man is dead. He’s gone in Battle Grounds. It’s gonna happen. There is NO WAY he and Harry are going to get to have that talk THAT THEY DESPERATELY NEED TO HAVE (sob).
– River Shoulders!!
– MARCONE! MARCONE ROCKS. Let me repeat that. MARCONE EFFING ROCKS.
– Who was Mab?!?
– FERROVAX!
– OH GOD THOMAS. BUT THERE IS HOPE. There is hope. The reformed Fidelacchius only kills evil things, and it is capable of leaving (innocent) physical flesh completely unharmed. So it could theoretically kill the Hunger demon, right? RIGHT? RIGHT?
– HARRY IS GOING TO USE THE KNIFE.
– HARRY IS GOING TO USE THE KNIFE
– HARRY IS GOING TO USE THE EFFING LANCE OF LONGINUS KNIFE TO TRY AND IMPRISON A PHYSICAL ACTUAL GOD IN DEMONREACH.
– ACK ACK ACK ACK AND WE ALREADY KNOW IT’S NOT GOING TO BE ENOUGH. OH GOSH. IS IT? OH OH OH MY GOSH.

CURSE YOU JIM BUTCHER!

Drama Recap – The Song of Glory – ep 1

So! So far (I’m on episode two; I’m going to go to episode five and see how things look from there), this show has: style, action, and a lack of draggy romance, badass characters and lots of forward momentum. Let’s see how long it lasts.

So! We start off with a dancing girl troupe performing. They are bait and the fish is apparently Lord Lu, who I expect is the bad guy because he is watching a dancing girl troupe, looks smug, and has a small beard. Otherwise he’s rather handsome, and he also doesn’t fall all over the heroine when she proposes they make a deal, so I kind of like him.
Also present is the sickly (faking it) Prince Peng Chang. He, like everyone else, dislikes Lord Lu, but is forced to play nice. He feels he’s got a break, however, since (?) his friend’s dad is in the military and ? might be returning home with the potential to oppose the Lu family? I’m not sure about this.
Our heroine is actually an assassin who has been raised from childhood to hate Prince Peng Chang and is planning to kill him at the dance. Nice. After that, she and her lil’sis A’Nu are going to go find A’Nu’s biological parents and live happily ever after together. Yeah…right…
Meanwhile! In the palace, the Dowager Consort some lady is comforted by her younger daughter for the eighteen-years-past kidnapping of her older daughter. Ooooo.
There is a stylish making-up-slash-preparing-for-the-assassination montage, as the troupe prepares to come perform at the royal palace. It lasts about thirty seconds, though. And then the crossbows come out, I’m loving this. Heroine girl shoots at the prince, but someone else takes the bullet for him (his brother). Then she falls backwards off the steps but her troupe catches her in their arms and launches her back. Awesome. Then she breaks someone’s spear with her bare hands. Niiiiice, I like it.
At this point, the Dowager notices that one of her sons is dead and starts screaming. Also at this point, Peng Chang glares at the shocked and useless Lord Lu.
Meanwhile! At the assassin headquarters, the troupe’s male leads are….brooding? Celebrating? The Old Master Guy with the eyepatch is all in for revenge/whatever he’s in for and walks off with an evil laugh. The Younger Brother guy, however, is somewhat dubious, having certain lingering desires in his heart. Like, staying alive.
OH WOW THE MAIDSERVANTS HAVE WEAPONS STASHED AND JUMP INTO THE FIGHT NICE. That was kind of awesome. Unfortunately, they get stomped by the guards almost immediately. That is not nice.
The Prince orders Lord Lu arrested. He maintains his innocence and begs for the opportunity to prove himself–which comes immediately, as Heroine throws her sword and he grabs someone else’s and parries it. So he gets the chance and is off to go capture her–alive.
Uh oh.
But there is a still quite stylish fight with curtains where the heroine chases after the Prince and his guards. OK, this is NICE. She disposes of the guards, but then when she does stab the Prince he catches the blade. And then his loyal friend shows up so he’s safe again and she’s fighting him now. Why is Lord Lu not being useful?! But then another masked assassin-looking girl shows up?
And then one of the servants tries to stab the Prince–his escort is getting whittled down–too! Lol, HAH, Prince asks him if he’s working for Lord Lu, and the guy says that “Lu is not the only person on Earth who wants to kill you.” Then he sets the library on fire and the servants outside barricade the doors. Exactly what has this Prince done that makes people despise him this much? I mean, we as the audience know he’s innocent because a) he’s handsome, b) everyone knows how helpless and powerless to do wrong an Imperial Prince is, c) he’s probably the hero, (I like Lord Lu! Whaaaaat!?) but…
So we’re back to the heroine and, y’know, that other guy. And they have a slightly less stylish but still very exciting fight among a bunch of drums. She kicks the guy down finally and is taking off AND THEN!
Lord Lu arrives! I’m so excited. HA, she kicks a drum at him and then he just ducks under it and it hits a bunch of his men instead. But now Other Guy pops back up and she’s fighting two against one. And spitting up blood. And then throws another drum at Lord Lu and he just slices it in half and keeps going on to knock her down and she falls and then he’s almost going to kill her but Other Guy remembers they’re supposed to TAKE THEM ALIVE! But then she gets away while he’s blocking Lord Lu, who is fairly disgusted with this idea. Also, they have just noticed that the Prince is actually missing.
Meanwhile! It’s looking very bad for the prince guy who got shot.
Heroine is limping off, amids the bodies. She bumps into lil’sis A’Nu, who is in even worse shape–but still smiling like a game and good lil’sis who wants to stay alive and go find her parents, do you hear me A’Nu? A’Nu?
A’Nu gives Heroine her heirloom bracelet and asks her to find her parents for her. Um. And then grabs Heroine’s robe and mask and tries to take off. Heroine grabs her desperately, but when the Younger Assassin Brother Guy shows up, she breaks free and he just stops Heroine from following. She screams at him but he’s unwounded and has the upper hand, and…
WAIT THAT’S THE END I LIKE THIS SHOW ALREADY!