The Song of Glory – Episode 4 Recap

SoGe4 So we start off in the throne room at a meeting, and they’ve just gotten to the “Any Other Business? No, good, because I need a drink, anyone else up?” part when someone actually does come up with some other business. To whit: the stuff with the military stuff last episode. So the army ordered three boats’ worth of arrowheads, but somehow five boats turned up.

Lord Lu eyeing the guy who said it, heh.

It’s a ruse. They’re pinning the blame on the guy in charge of the armory–the one who immediately spilled the beans on Lord Lu!–and trying to take the heat off LL so he’ll relax, or something. Right? Well, that’s Prince Peng Chang’s plan, it seems like but–Oh, no, HAH–Hat Guy says that Lord Lu is involved also!

Lord Lu steps up and proclaims his innocence and implies that Hat Guy probably tortured a confession out of him.

Pai Ruhai (framed guy) is dragged in. He appears to have been tortured.

LOL IT WAS LORD LU’S MEN WHO SWITCHED THE GUARDS AND BEAT THE STUFFING OUT OF HIM.

The Young Prince steps in to say that they should interrogate PR later, and punish Lord Lu now.

Lord Lu very reasonably says: exactly how just is is it to convict and fire a man based on zero testimony or evidence?

Sooooooooooo instead of firing Lord Lu, PR’s family is going to be executed to three generations. JUSTICE HAS BEEN DONE. (It hasn’t. It really hasn’t.) Hat Guy and, I dunno, Other Hat Guy, look dissatisfied. Lord Lu looks smug.

Prince Peng Chang is facing off with him, but then some military guy comes in–

OK. So, Pointy Chin Guy’s father was an army general, right? Well, he’s just won a great victory and is coming home in triumph.

Prince Peng Chang says: Nice. Also, in order that Lord Lu doesn’t slip up again with so much on his mind, we’ll give Pointy Father the Ministry of Defense job. Peace out (cough, cough.)

Outside, everybody is kind of hyped that Lord Lu has been taken down a peg, including Young Prince. But then Lord Lu ambles over to him and asks what he thinks of the theater performance they just witnessed. He’s happy, he says! Lord Lu says: brothers kill brothers who are too forward and ambitious. The Young Prince says: neener neener. Lord Lu says: I’m trying to play nice here.

So, back in the House of Pointy, I am never going to think of this woman as a heartwarming motherly figure, and why is LiGe hanging on to her arm like she’s an octegenarian who can’t walk? She’s not, she can just fine. The woman is mentally unstable to react the way she has and it’s creepy. You know nothing of this girl , you don’t even really know she’s your daughter, and you’re throwing away the kids–the daughter–that you actually have raised and that you do know. She makes Not Sister Girl give LiGe her makeup. Sheeeeeeeesh. Like, I get the rest of the family being welcoming because they’re also slightly reserved and suspicious, too. I get Not Sister being jealous–because HER MOTHER is pushing her down HARD in favor of a girl who just showed up who is sullen and unfriendly and unresponsive–but still trying to be kind and friendly. I do not get the mother’s reaction to this, I don’t get why no one else finds anything wrong with it, and she creeps me out.

OK, back to the people I do like. Lord Lu Senior is upset they lost the Defense Minister position, because that meant money. Lord Lu Junior says: it’s not a big deal.

Green Sidekick comes in to report that Pointy Father has, however, been cleaning house. All of their people have been removed.

Lu Senior says: it’s kind of weird that Prince Peng Chang is starting to throw his weight around now, isn’t it?

Lu Junior Says: Let’s go check on our prisoner.
…He has one of the assassin girls there!–he switched her with a dead body and brought her there. She hasn’t said a word yet, though….except to swear that she’s going to kill him. He shows her LiGe’s mask and crossbow and asks about that person….fade to black. That was unsatisfying.

I would prefer a nice villain monologue, or if he was able to Break Them By Talking. That would be badass.

Outside, LiGe is shopping and blah blah, a (fake) injustice happens in front of her. And, OH. Prince Peng Chang (with his fake moustache) wanders up. He recognizes LiGe as the assassin girl. LiGe is calmly dealing with the situation, but Peng Chang nee Boat Guy comes over to enact a wholly unneeded “rescue.” LiGe ignores him. so he has to take desperaste measures (grabbing her wrist and dragging her away, which as we all know is a sure sign of true love and romance.) Needless to say, gah, ugh, I DO NOT ACTUALLY LIKE THIS ROMANCE OR THIS GUY. I LIKE LORD LU.

Heh, she tells him to stop stalking her or she’ll beat him up. I DON”T CAAAAAARE. Also there has been a complete lack of stylish kung fu and our heroine killing people lately. I AM HIGHLY DISAPPOINTED.

Ok, so meanwhile. The Young Prince is out at a pavillion somewhere. And there’s a GIRL there! playing a dulcimer. Young Prince quotes poetry at her and she beams. And then they bow at each other. And they chat about how they both seem to be in a good mood today. And then they have a drink together. BOOOOOOORING.

OK, meanwhile. Back in the palace, Prince Peng Chang is drinking tea with his mother (mother? he calls her Mother Consort and says she’s saved him and his mother?)–she brought him medicine, and the servants look very shifty. But she’s also wondering about what’s up with Lord Lu. Is it because of that whole assassination thing?

So Lord Lu is her nephew on the maternal side. Prince Peng Chang says: of course I haven’t got anything against him, it’s just I was making sure he paid for an actual mistake. How could I do anything to my own relative? Mother Consort smiles and goes “Huh.”

Meanwhile, Pointy General Father is riding into town in triumph. Not-Mom is hovering over LiGe, who is getting her hair done. Not-Sister has arranged matters: LiGe is going to sing/dance/whatever (a song, we point out, that Not-Sister wrote), for Pointy Father at the banquet. Not-Sister is being entirely too cheerful and kind….I have suspicions.

So Pointy Father arrives at home, only to be attacked at the door by Little Brother. Without much success. Dad disarms and then compliments him. But overall, he’s also very anxious to meet his new/returned daughter.

Not-Sister leads LiGe out, all dressed up, and is promptly ignored by Dad as well. You know, I’m not even going to blame this girl when she betrays them all.

OH GOSH THIS IS SOOOOOOOO FREAKING UNCOMFORTABLE. Yowch.

Fortunately, The Young Prince arrives. He’s got a nice big sign that says “Pointy General Is An Important Person!” (Not literal translation.) More importantly, he recognizes LiGe.

So, with an oddly not-smooth transition, the next cut is Young Prince walking somewhere else, alone, and a piece of paper falls down in front of him. LiGe dropped it, because she’s walking by with a dulcimer. She gets directly to the point: why did you help me?
He says: I ain’t like Lord Lu. I’m a prince! I’m a good guy!
She says: It has nothing to do with the family. I only joined the family recently. My grudge against Lord Lu is personal.
The Young Prince says: I’ll keep that in mind. BTW, are you ever going to assassinate anyone other than Lord Lu?

(Huh?)

One thing I have to say: the actress really is gorgeous, and the lighting/costumes/sets/her are really, really filmed to perfection.

So anyway, Not Sister is being faced with another round of My Family Is Ignoring Me In Favor Of Some Girl Who Just Showed Up (and is playing a song I WROTE for MY dad).

But, heh, LiGe breaks the dulcimer string on the first note. HAH. And then she walks over and slaps Not Sister. Eh? She is claiming that Not Sister taught her the wrong song?–instead of “Crane Song”, it was “Ghost Song,” something which would surely hurt Hysterical Idiot Mom (BWAH, AT LEAST SOMEONE RECOGNIZED IT), and thence get her, LiGe, in trouble. Oh, BTW, The Young Prince was the one who warned me about it!

The Young Prince backs her up, because of course he does.

Not Sister defends herself: after EVERYTHING that she’s put up with for the sake of her new sister and all the things that the family has been doing to her, has she yet done anything to LiGe? And indeed, it looks like she hasn’t, because the music score was “Crane Song” after all.

Not Sister says: Daaaaaaad something is going on here and it’s weird and wrong.

Pointy Chin agrees.

But The Young Prince says: Hey, uh, she was with me. She was, uh, saving some bullied children!

LiGe pulls out one of the maidservants and accuses her of switching the music score. And threatens her with a scorpion….

OK, I’m done. These people are stupid, boring, unrealistic, morons, and the plot I liked–KILL PRINCE PENG CHANG! BROTHERHOOD! LOYALTY! ASSASSINS!–has ground to a halt. I’d be happy if the hysterical moronic mother died. I’d be happy if it really was Not Sister who was trying to murder people. I’d be estatic if the heroine did murder someone, because she’s A TOUGH ASSASSIN BABE HELLO THIS IS HER JOB.

I may check a few more of the later episodes, but this is officially a pass for me, now. What can I say? I don’t like the hero, because he has done nothing that gains my interest or sympathy. I do like the villain, because he has done nothing that hasn’t gained my interest or sympathy, and he was also really badass in the first episode. I did like the heroine when she was a tough assassin babe running around DOING THINGS. I liked the plot when it seemingly had a direction and there were people like Eyepatch Guy who had duplicitious motives and hidden agendas. And I do not like the Pointy Family because they creep me out.

ERGH. DO I HAVE TO WRITE THE THINGS I WANT ALL BY MYSELF?

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