So Teacher in fact told Jiu Chen NOT to go down to the black hole BUT THE DUMBASS BOY SAYS THAT IT’S HIS JOB.
Teacher says: it’s not your turn to do this. YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED!
Jiu Chen says: Gotta go. Look after Ling Xi for me, would you? Take care of yourself, Teacher.
Oh you unmitigated DUMBASS.
So back in Fuyun Hall, Yun Feng is crying.
Jiu Chen says: I’m just going to go and get stuck down at the bottom of a black hole for eternity, not dead! AND THEN Jiu Chen says: You better marry Qing Yao ONCE YOU REGAIN YOUR IDENTITY?! I’m off.
And he does it, he poofs out.
Ling Xi is in the Phoenix Realm….Jiu Chen poofs in when she falls asleep. She’s been drawing the patterns for her wedding dress. OH GOSH. So he puts her to bed and kisses her forehead goodbye, OH GOSH AND HE’S AT THE BLACK HOLE PORTAL NOW.
And then he turns into a dragon and dives in.
Demonized Jingxiu is still sitting by a fire in the mortal world, and he wants to know how long Jiu Chen will last. Dude, stomp on my heart a little, won’t you?
Ling Xi wakes up in the morning, and then a messenger bird arrives at Fuyun Hall. Yun Feng picks it up… it’s a “hey, are you OK?” message. So he sends one back: PHFFFFHAHAHA HE SAID “WE ARE NOT COMPATIBLE I DON”T THINK WE SHOULD GET MARRIED.” But Ling Xi doesn’t have much time to consider this because the word comes in that Yun Feng’s statue is missing. Qing Yao lurches in a few minutes later. Si Ming, the Old Justice (HAH LIKE IF) God, and Lord Baishan are there. Qing Yao freaks out. Junior Fox Bro, getting the word, is suspicious and wants to know what Jiu Chen thinks. And where is he, then? Ling Xi is personally going to go fetch him.
But the person who’s waiting, inside a magical barrier, is Yun Feng. He doesn’t put the barrier down. He talks from the inside: hey, that letter was pretty clear wasn’t it?
Ling Xi: …dude….what is wrong with you?
Aand she immediately susses out that he must be planning to go do something dangerous. Well, your timing is off but you’re right on the money, girl.
Yun Feng as Jiu Chen: No, uh, no I’m not.
Ling Xi: THEN WHY?
Yun Feng as Jiu Chen: Well, you were my trial and I completed it and now I’m going into seclusion to cultivate. Romatic follies are no longer in my heart! Your heart is your own business.
Ling Xi: OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR JIU CHEN.
And then she collapses, sobbing. Just blast the door, girl. But she remains outside it as the sun sets. And she’s correct in thinking that Jiu Chen is dealing with some sort of difficult problem. BUT HE NEEDS TO TELL HER ABOUT IT THE GODDAMN DUNCE. SHE’S A HIGH GOD NOW AND SHE CAN HELP.
She keeps talking, too, and Yun Feng is hearing it and getting more and more affected. TELL HER ALREADY BOY!
Meanwhile at the black hole portal, Jiu Chen is firing energy at the portal to block the demons escaping. It’s firing back.
Meanwhile, Ling Xi is still on vigil outside the room and Yun Feng is still inside. Shi San watches sadly from a distance. And another entire day passes, oh wait, wow, it’s been sixteen days. Shi San finally comes to check on her.
She says: I’m leaving Jiu Chen. I know you have a problem that you refuse to tell me about. But I won’t force you. BUT REMEMBER WE EXCHANGED MARRIAGE CONTRACTS AND I AM YOUR WIFE. You can’t leave me behind.
Yun Feng: stares and says nothing like the useless piece of meat he is. Oh, and then Teacher just breaks in. He wants to see Jiu Chen, too.
OH MY GOSH AAAAAARGHHHHH QING YAO IS REASSEMBLING THE PIECES OF YUN FENG’S STATUE OH WOW. ARGH. AAAARGH.
Ling Xi comes by, and at this point she’s the way more reasonable and sensible person in this situation. ARGH, OWWWW THIS ACTUALLY IS AFFECTING AND PAINFUL. But she gives Qing Yao a nice hug, so that’s that.
MEANWHILE AT THE BLACK HOLE, Jiu Chen is taking a bit of a break. And then Yuan Tong arrives. She’s had a rough…well, time. But she’s still spitting venom as spunkily as ever. And Jiu Chen asks if it’s her doing that this happened.
Yuan Tong: Yep! Even when you guys punished me and exiled me, I still found a way to disrupt all your lives! Aren’t I something?
Jiu Chen: So you’re a demon now.
Yuan Tong goes back to being the needy fangirl who was CRUELLY WRONGED by her crush and only wants attention! Oh, and he’s wasting his time because closing the gates actually takes two gods–one on the inside and one on the outside.
Jiu Chen says: You’ve gone so far. And you still have further to go, don’t you?
Yuan Tong says: I’ll do anything if I can be with you!
Jiu Chen says: Get lost.
Yuan Tong goes over to the portal and….dissolves?
Jiu Chen stares at Ling Xi’s knot charm like the useless boy he is.
Meanwhile, Qing Yao is still at the broken up statue, OH GOD THIS IS SO HORRIBLE TO WATCH. Yun Feng spirit-poofs in to keep an eye on things but can’t go over to her.
Meanwhile back at the Heaven Palace, two old guys are talking. Thunder is going to be confirmed as god of war, since Jiu Chen went to pieces after the death of Yun Feng and Thunder led the army to defeat a diplodocus (it’s what the subtitles said!) that attacked.
Meanwhile, Si Ming is creeping around somewhere trying to evade Yuli. Heh, he tells her not to touch him because Shi San might get mad.
Yuli wants to know: is Jiu Chen really inside Fuyun Hall? She doesn’t actually believe it. So is he visiting Ling Xi? Hey, that must be it! (LOL, apparently there’s an official decree preventing the God of War from visiting the Phoenix Realm because he was going so often, lol). So Yuli twists Si Ming’s arm and says that unless she gets confirmation, she’s going to complain to the Emperor and get an official answer. But then she has to leave quickly because Ling Xi shows up.
Ling Xi wants to know what the deal is with Thunder having to lead the armies. Si Ming says: I think he doesn’t want to be god of war anymore and set it up like this on purpose.
In the Phoenix Realm, Ling Xi fondles her marriage contract. She’s going to address the court at the morning meeting…
In Peach Blossom Forest, Qing Yao snatches some wine from Plant Fairy and is getting drunk. Plant Fairy is too naieve a girl to be able to stop her and has to flounce off. Junior Fox Bro is practicing swordsmanship meanwhile and can’t do anything about it anyway. But a shadow falls across Qing Yao once she passes out! OH GOSH. Yun Feng is standing there blocking the sun from her with his sleeve. YOU DUMBASS THAT’S NOT…argh. Whatever.
QY wakes up and spots him! But she thinks she’s hallucinating. He poofs out, and QY, heh, winces from the sunlight suddenly hitting her. And then rushes off to look.
Which is when Ling Xi arrives and launches into a little flashback: of their last meeting there on the bridge, when Jiu Chen told her to find someone else if he died and took the knot charm.
Rated: GRRRRRRRR WHY IS EVERYBODY SO STUPID AND WHY IS QING YAO/YUN FENG THE MOST PAINFUL THING TO WATCH IN THIS SHOW?