Oh ye gods. Just die already.

Lucasfilm, not content with letting people just quietly erase the sequel trilogy from their memories, has decided to dig its own hole just a tiny bit deeper. Of its own accord! No economic pressure is forcing them to write and release these stupid books! In fact it’s the exact opposite: they’ve recently been forced to re-release books in the maligned and discarded Expanded Universe instead of their own, main-cannon series. 

And yet they keep doing it.

So, what is the source of my bemused fan-rage this time?

Kristin Baver’s Skywalker: A Family at War is….

….well…

See, turns out that when Rey Force-healed Kylo in the movie, she also removed his Dark Side brainwashing.

She cured him from the Dark Side. Oh, oh, oh, and healed his scar. (What a weird detail. Chicks dig gnarly scars on males because they tend to indicate said male has been in badass fights. In Kylo’s case, the scar is all he had going for him so why…ohhh.)

Man.

If only, I DON’T KNOW, THE ACTUAL CHOSEN ONE OF PROPHESY AND HIS ACTUAL SON OR DAUGHTER HAD BEEN ABLE TO MANIFEST SOME SUCH ABILITY, RIGHT? AND VADER ACTUALLY HAD MASSIVE PHYSICAL INJURIES THAT COULD HAVE USED MAGICAL HEALING TOUCH. Sheesh.

See, I’d say these people need to shut up and go away…but they’re going to go somewhere else and destroy something else if they do. 

We need to bring back tar and feathers…

24 thoughts on “Oh ye gods. Just die already.

  1. Iiiiii’m over here going “She ‘cured’ him of Bad Thoughts. Uh. Yeah, there’s a lot of words for that, none of them are good“– jeeze, they just keep getting creepier with the “light” side.

    #GraySideNow

    Liked by 1 person

  2. And this is why, with some exceptions, I still prefer, reference, and collect stories from the Expanded Universe. Up until the New Jedi Order, even at it’s worst/weirdest, the original canon was *better* than Disney’s material.

    Sadly, they’ve already moved on to other franchises. This is just one of the bigger ones they can obviously flog to upset and infuriate fans. 😢

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s almost as if stories written by fans (or at least by people who don’t, y’know, actively hate the characters and fundamentally disagree with every aspect of the storytelling, worldbuilding, and basic philosophy) tend to be more enjoyable! Weird!

      Ah well. I have the Despecialized edition on two different hard drives.

      My main question is *why*?!!! Why do they hate story-telling so much???!! I don’t get it. I really don’t.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Problem being that, by the evidence, George Lucas is one of those who hates the characters and fundamentally disagrees with every aspect of the storytelling, worldbuilding, and basic philosophy.

        Which, if the rumors that most of the writing was really his wife at the time are true, and based off of things like his “I never said the books were cannon, that was Someone Else’s fault!” when he was releasing his three new movies, would match up with him loving the power they gave him, but not really understanding why folks love it.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m not sure you can accuse Lucas of hating his own creation, but I’ll buy “willfully misunderstanding” it, easily.

        Mainly, though, I think one of the problems is that Lucas grew old and complacent, and lost sight of what kind of cool stories / other people’s works would be best to exercise artistry upon. (AKA: good artists create, great artists steal….) Instead of cribbing from the greats, he started taking notes from the mediocre. Instead of stealing cool, exciting ideas, he tried writing from his own interest. And it showed.

        I have problems (to the tune of multiple drafts of “I can do this better” prequel re-writes) with the Prequel Trilogy–but I have never felt that there was malice in them, or a preconceived, genuine hatred of me as the audience.

        Like

      3. Depends on if it was his own creation, or if it really was a matter of having the right co-authors to take nifty ideas and make them shine.

        ******

        My impression was that a lot of the issues with the Prequel Trilogy is that they were largely motivated by being not the books. (I’m the family trekkie, not the Wars fan, but I did listen to both the praising of the books from my Wars buddies, and their screams when the prequels came out.)
        Even when that meant rewriting stuff from the original stories. (Thus the Jedi suddenly being monks, which made Mara Jade impossible.)
        You can see a similar reaction in the Warcraft series, where the original writing was quite good, built off of a guy’s work with a LOT of other folks’ input.
        And then the stuff that wasn’t his was much more popular.
        And when they fired a lot of the other writers, the original idea guy did a Whedon-style “I have the power to write the story and I am smashing your popular thing, even if it means ignoring what I wrote the first time” rewrite.
        I should’ve probably looked at the word “Jossing” for an example of this kind of behavior….

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Huh. I’m not an EU fan personally (when I read fanfiction, I prefer it to have a decent sense of shame about its own existence), so the fact that the Jedi *weren’t* monks originally is news to me.

    But we can all do without artistic tantdrums….

    Like

    1. Huh. I’m not an EU fan personally (when I read fanfiction, I prefer it to have a decent sense of shame about its own existence), so the fact that the Jedi *weren’t* monks originally is news to me.

      *sad smile*

      That’s why Lukas got pissed.

      It wasn’t fan fiction.

      Authors had to submit their stories, and get them approved. And then the entire selling point was their books are cannon.

      As opposed to Star Trek, where the books are authorized fan fiction.

      This was a MAJOR fandom war point, back when.

      Then Lukas had enough money to make new movies, and make more.

      And suddenly…they weren’t, anymore.

      He altered the terms of the deal; pray he does not alter them more.

      To coin a phrase.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. That’s interesting about Trek….and, in fact, would kind of tend towards explaining/correctly placing the NuTrek movies in cannon… 😉

        When I said the Star Wars novels were “fanfiction,” I actually meant they read like fanfic to me: enthusiastic at best, but mostly just amateurish, clumsy, and usually unreadable.

        Everyone blames Disney for decanonizing the EU–interesting that it actually started with Lucas. Verrrry interesting.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It is interesting, and it confuses me– because the Zahn novels are the gold standard for Star Wars novels, and what everyone thought Lucas was going to be making into movies.

        On the other hand, that is twenty years ago.

        Liked by 3 people

    2. Huh. I’m not an EU fan personally (when I read fanfiction, I prefer it to have a decent sense of shame about its own existence), so the fact that the Jedi *weren’t* monks originally is news to me.

      Went and double checked with Wars fan, since he’s out of dungeon. (…yes, we’re geeks. He switched to helping the kids on our Ark server. Geeeeeeeek…..)

      He pointed out that not only were they not monks, but that Obi did absolutely nothing that you’d expect from someone who saw a promising youth flip to slaughtering every single Jedi they’d found under the age of something teen because he got the nookie, which was forbidden by Jedi rules.

      The only reason to not go after Princess Cinnabon was that she’s his sister…..

      Liked by 2 people

  4. The writers Lucasfilm employed at the time went for a more Medieval knight/order-style Jedi Order than those who came in after the advent of the prequels. Hence you had Nomi Sunrider marry a Jedi and have a daughter, Vima, then fall in love with another Jedi who fell to the Dark Side and who came back to the light – *after* killing his brother and *after* Nomi cut him off from the Force. Luke met her many-greats granddaughter, Vima da Boda, who had also married and had a daughter, who was killed by a crimelord, who Vima slew in a fit of rage, and…..

    Well, let’s just say there were a lot of amazing stories in the EU, fan fiction though it was. And I *still* don’t understand why Lucas had an artistic tantrum about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, let’s just say there were a lot of amazing stories in the EU, fan fiction though it was. And I *still* don’t understand why Lucas had an artistic tantrum about it.

      Because after it had been raking in money for years, enough money to get him to be able to make the prequels, it was better than anything he could come up with.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. 😢 That might, unfortunately, be too true. I won’t say it *is,* because I don’t know. And the poor man *still* has hate piled upon him by Hollywood, so I won’t add to it. But it’s quite possible you’re entirely correct, and that’s sad. 😢

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Additional pain:

        Like I said, not a Star Wars fan. So I vaguely remembered he’d lost his wife after the first movie or something.

        …he dumped her.

        Combined with his reaction to the guy he hired to write the follow on to the original movie (and then dumped) and his reaction to the Expanded Universe (and then dumped) it paints a…sad, depressing picture.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Er, not trying to do either a “more fan than you” thing or an age based pissing match….but I was born in the early 80s, and was neck deep in the Trek/War fights (mostly friendly) from like ’95. So what I’m going off of is a fan reaction which you– being not an EU fan, and I don’t know why– may not have been around?

    Look, I’m not old, but I know that being median age and getting a start on geeking young, I have a different starting point than average. 😀

    Maybe that explains the different viewpoints?

    Liked by 1 person

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