– Not allowed to flip off customers if I recognize their car on the road.

– Not allowed to flip off customers’ facilities as I drive past them.

– Not allowed to flip off state troopers.

– Even if I am already driving the speed limit.

– Sadly, no one else is interested in your pivot table.

– It’s a really cool table, though, it has slicers and everything.

– No species of cosplay may be combined with workwear.

– The above rule does specifically apply to: The Matrix-type sunglasses, Hellsing-type sunglasses, and any kind of broad-brimmed hat.

– Time spent sitting in a Walmart parking lot, contemplating life choices, does not count as work time.