Although, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” would be more appropriate. I have a complaint to lodge against the weathermen…
Tag: Anime
Read/Watchlist
Mostly, it’s been The Shadow novels. However, there are others.
– The Continental Op – Dashiell Hammett
– Star Man’s Son – Andre Norton, which is a post-apocalyptic scifi-adventure
– Carpe Jugulum – Terry Pratchett
Watchlist:
– Spy x Family is incredibly cute, wholesome, funny, exciting, well-paced, well-written, well-characterized, well-plotted, and overall just awesome. One of the reasons I never could get into American comics in a big way is that the art style is always uneven or just plain ugly. Manga-style art just looks so much better to my eye!
– Diablo (2015) – a nu-Western starring Scott Eastwood, who really should have asked his pops for some help. It’s one of those “I have one clever idea, one idea should be enough to swing a movie on,” and “I want it to be dramatic and meaningful,” type movies that only has a budget of around five dollars (4.95$ of which went to Scott’s hairdresser), and which desperately needed someone who knew what they were actually doing to write the script (to make it meaningful) and direct it (to make it dramatic.) It’s basically unwatchable, and I only skipped to the end because the synopsis spoiled the twist and I was curious to see how it ended. Shame, that.
Show me what you love
(Alucard is watching Adventure Time in his room)
(TV suddenly explodes as Luke enters.)
Alucard: That was a 70-inch… plasma screen TV. (smacks his lips and inhales deeply) So… how can I help you?
Luke: You must be the great Alucard…
Alucard: ‘Suup.
Luke: I’ve heard quite a lot about you.
Alucard: Oh, really?
Luke: The nightwalker…who glides through oceans of blood… beyond human, a monster whose power radiates with a darkness that casts a shadow on darkness itself—
Alucard: Oh, you dirty bitch! Work the shaft!
Luke: …Excuse you?
Alucard: Oh, I’m sorry, I like the dirty talk when someone’s sucking my dick.
Luke: Perhaps I should just skip to my point. My name is Luke Valentine.
Alucard: And I’m Carmen Sandiego. Guess where I am.
Luke: I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you here.
Alucard: Oh, so am I, and I’m failing, and I’m sorry for that. It’s just that I’m so agitated, because this blond little shit just strolled into my room, destroyed my 70-inch plasma TV, and is trying to impress me like I’m his alcoholic father.
(Both draw and point their guns at each other’s heads from point-blank range)
Alucard: Be a sport and grab Daddy another beer, would you?
I’m also highly partial to:
Alucard: Get that bitch a cannon! Bitches love cannons!
And,
Alucard: BITCH I EAT PEOPLE!
And,
TV Announcer: The terrorist duo inside is comprised of a young British woman and some Ozzy Osbourne-looking motherfucker…
But the thing that, at the end of the day, makes this show actually kind of worth it (I mean…arguably….) is the fact that, aside from being completely consistent with the characters’….somewhat exaggerated….personalities for shits and giggles throughout, it still knows when to sober up and take matters seriously. So when our big-tittied police girl has lost her arm, her eyes, her love interest, her duty post, and almost her sanity–not to mention that Nazi vampires have overrun London, and the Catholic Church, Mexican Inquisition, and the Salvation Army decided to “kill them all and let God sort them out”–we get a scene that is very genuine, emotional, and meaningful. Alucard: Listen to me, Draculina! You are so much stronger than you let yourself be!Seras: (sobbing) ‘Ow do you know?!Alucard: Because behind those eyes, I saw something I lost long ago: the will to live. Now, stop running from who you are. Confront it! Embrace it! And go for its fucking throat. Like a REAL FUCKING VAMPIRE!
Honestly, I hate secret government organizations that hunt supernatural threats, I hate vampires, and I hate sexy vampires….but thing is, so does everyone in this show, including the secret government organization and the sexy vampires. Put that together with oodles of stylized violence, fancy costumes, drama, melodrama, angst, blacked-out silhouettes with glowing/reflective eyes, guns, violence, more violence, no seriously the amount of anime gorn is what kept me from watching either the original or the abridged series for the longest time–you can’t get better than this. And I mean either the original, which plays things absolutely seriously, or…y’know, this version, which doesn’t.
Rated:
Anderson: Time the fuck out! If we’re doing this — and WE ARE DOING THIS — I’m not gonna come swinging at DRACULA! I’M KILLING ALUCARD!
Dracula: You do know that it’s just my name spelled–
Reinvigorate Read/Watchlist
Apparently, watching nonsensical Japanese cartoons lowers your heart rate. Who knew?
– Captain Harlock – Space Pirate (the 1978 version)
– Murder by Contract (1958)
– The World For Ransom (1954)
Readlist:
– Lady Susan – Jane Austen
– Still chugging along with Susan Bradford’s Lucrezia Borgia hagiography.
Weekend Read/Watchlist
Watchlist:
– Space Pirate Captain Harlock, just look at that cape. LOOK AT IT. Also this movie features a guy in a wheelchair challenging another (able-bodied) person to a fistfight and almost winning. (Shutting off the spaceship’s gravity and using your hover wheelchair is kind of cheating, regardless.)
– Y’know, I haven’t watched Final Fantasy: Advent Children for a while, either.
Readlist:
– The Children of Henry VIII – Alison Weir
– Lucrezia Borgia – Life, Love, and Death in Renaissance Italy – Sarah Bradford
Riders of Skaith 
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