The Riders of Skaith’s Top 25 Search Results for 2020

riders of skaith15Hiya! Come for….well, I’d love to say the science fiction but by own stats contradict that. (Stay for the tiger pics, though).
the romance of hua rong5Not unexpectedly, the Romance of Hua Rong recaps are by far and away the most popular things on this blog. Lovely Swords Girl and Love and Destiny are yards behind, but the review of the Siege in Fog novel also gets steady hits. 
jim butcher peace talks4Review here! Incoherent initial thoughts here! Slightly more coherent thoughts here.
angelique the marquise of the angels4Review here.
byakuya movie3They did my boy wrong and I am still upset about it.
correia assisns review3A brief review of House of Assassins is here.
captain marvel rewrite3Way better, amiright?
riders of skaith, terminator2Here is my take on how the third Terminator movie should have gone. Here is my mother’s take on the first movie.
larry correia destroyer of worlds2I haven’t written a review of this one….guess I should.
pax dickinson amanda robb2Okay, I had to google this one to find out what it was about. It’s the time some guy made some reporterette wear a MAGA hat and scavenger hunt for him, back like three years ago or something when Comicsgate was going big.
silver creek audie murphy duel ay2Ay. Here you go.
house of assassins larry correia review2Wait, how did more people spell this wrong than spelled it right?
what will dresden mirror mirror be about?2Beats me. 
why was blood coming out of lingxi’s mouth in love and destiny?1‘cuz it’s a dramatic trope often used in cinema to show a character has a serious internal injury or to just intensify a scene by implying that the character might. Plus, this way you can get a lot of drama without having to get a lot of blood on the costume.
what do the einherjar call dresden files1That is an excellent question.
i want to read what happened in a chinese film named,sword girl,season 1 episode 1 to season 6 episode 1,from the starting to the ending.1Can’t help you, fam. 
jim butcher battle ground review spoiler1Justine is Nemesis.
a wizard in bedlam1Here you go, sir, ma’am, or tentacle.
is thomas raith dead bartle grounds1I’m slightly offended by this.
real identity of mr jin hua robg1He’s some kind of prince guy who is related to another prince guy who is the bad guy except Mr. Jin is a good guy who was temporarily pretending to be a hero guy except that the real hero guy was Qin Shang Cheng in a mask. I hope this clarifies the situation for you.
scifiwright the green knights squire1Given the length of the review I wrote for this, it’s really gratifying to see that someone landed there. Thanks, m’lady, m’lord, or churl!
uprooted naomi novik common sense1It wasn’t present in the novel, no.
dark emu criticism1Me, I was just having fun arguing with my dad. 
telzey amberdon and giant otters1No, no, no, it was Nile Etland who had the otters. Telzey had her telepathic tiger/crest cat, Tick-Tock.
bfs what it stands for in peace talks1Friend, why don’t you try reading the books instead of googling everything? It’ll work out much better for you that way, I promise.

Lovely Swords Girl – Eps 6-15 – Review

lovely-swords-girl-2019-1So we left off with our heroine slowly getting used to–and then getting a little more than used to–her puppy-dog husband. The rest of the family is pretty happy with her, too: she’s chirpy, happy, energetic, and enlivens their oh-so-respectable household. Even the rude younger brothers are pretty okay once you get to know them. We can now recommence with the plot.

After the family steward betrayed them (though futilely, as he stole a decoy book), he took shelter in the house of the 13th Prince. Our heroine (Shengyou), and her brothers-in-law (2nd Brother and 3rd Brother) set out to get him back and what he knows. At this point, we know that the Ghost Domain Sect is blamed for wiping out several other sects to acquire their chapters of the famed Magic Code; and Shengyou’s Holy Medicine Sect is on the list next. What we very quickly find out is that:

– Ghost Domain sect is not behind the massacres.
– Ghost Domain sect is led by someone who knows Shengyou
– Shengyou promised to marry him when they were both about five years old and he takes this promise extremely seriously
– He won’t take “No,” “Release me!”, or “Gods-damnit Ai De Yushu, I AM ALREADY MARRIED, STOP CALLING ME YOUR WIFE” for an answer.

However, Ghost Domain sect refuses to try and explain things to the jiang hu world, firstly because the frame job is pretty good (their unique Slaughter Letter was stolen), and also because “FAT LIFE NEEDS NO EXPLAINATION!” (direct quote, although their particular fatness is caused by martial arts cultivation, not gluttony. So there’s that). The result of this is that they are attacked by an alliance of jiang hu sects, which (spoiler) Shengyou is narrowly able to convince of their innocence. The real culprits are the mysterious Shadow Sect, which is ruled by a mysterious masked man and his evil henchmen. (It’s 13th Prince, because he’s the only other named character in this show and also because he doesn’t disguise his voice.)

Meanwhile on the romance front! Puppy-dog was missing her so desperately and getting into so much trouble that 2nd Brother just finally takes him to go find Shengyou. She, still trying to beat it through Ai De Yushu’s head that she has a husband already, initially is overjoyed, thinking that this will help….

…it doesn’t.

Let’s just say that “menage a trois” is something that a person with a 70-point IQ is not going to really get at an instinctual level.

Shengyou finally gets to the point of feeding Puppydog an aphrodisiac so they can become a real couple and hopefully then Fatty Yushu will get the picture. So this she does, only for, with absolutely IMPECCABLE timing (seriously), a bunch of Shadow Sect ninjas to come crashing in the windows. Some stuff happens, there’s a fight, and Puppydog Husband falls off a cliff and nearly drowns.

Shengyou is taken prisoner by a Shadow Sect lackey/ally and forced to reveal what she knows of the Magic Code. She stalls as best as she can but is still forced to give the code over. Fortunately, a rescue party–2nd and 3rd Brothers–arrives. Unfortunately, the Magic Code secrets have given the bad guy enormous power, and he beats them all handily and shoves Shengyou into a rather unconvincing water death trap.

She is drowning!

But then! A handsome man breaks the mechanism, swims down, and retrieves her!

It’s her husband. He’s got his intelligence back, finally! But he also has lost his memories of the past two years. And he’s also a completely and utterly different person than the puppy she fell in love with. This guy is cool, controlled, dignified, and very concerned with propriety and appearances.–and it’s been rather cleverly set up, too, because he is the guy the two snooty brothers admire and try to emulate.

But anyway, he doesn’t remember his wife and she can’t accept the fact that this is a different person who doesn’t know–or love–her. How this plays out is Shengyou trying various ways to bring out the old, fun-loving puppy, and the real Husband getting frustrated that she doesn’t believe he has amnesia, the frustration escalating to anger, or just plain annoyance at the humiliating indignity of whatever she’s up to now. He finally writes out a divorce letter–and she takes it and goes home, much to the dismay of his family, who by now love her–and to his own ultimate dismay as well. He doesn’t remember, but he is having some flashbacks. And Shengyou is a lovable girl.

But nevertheless, the plot must go on. The Shadow Sect has all of the chapters of the Magic Code now, but they are in scrambled order and only the leader of Holy Medicine Sect knows how to unscramble them. Shengyou’s father is not going to succumb to torture or blandishments….so he is murdered and pressure is applied to Shengyou herself. 2nd and 3rd Brothers show up to try and coax their sister in law back home. Husband is there, too….lurking and brooding, and, to his credit, prepared to spring into action to help. But Shengyou has had enough. She has her own sect to run, and tells him once and for all, it’s in the past and good-bye.

Then, when she gets cornered by a couple of frat-bros in a back alley, a mysterious handsome man leaps over a wall to help her! It’s….

…I have no idea.

– the obligatory cross-dressing scene, and 3rd Brother’s complete dissatisfaction with the plan…
– any of the Ghost Domain Sect dancing.
– Shengyou’s dad thumbs-upping and winking at the (not so)-happy couple.

Rated: My phone has not yet died of coronavirus, and for this I am grateful.

Lovely Swords Girl – Episode 1-4

lovely2bgirlThis one starts energetically, with a young bride who discovers to her utter dismay that her new husband is basically retarded. Furthermore, as her mother in law points out mercilessly, he was her own choice! She had met him before (he saved her runaway donkey, so, you know, love at first Cdrama sight), and he was fairly normal then…So given the choice, she chose him– and she is now stuck with him and the family….and the mother in law.

Meanwhile elsewhere, there’s a flashback describing why her father decided to marry her into the family (the Gong family)–to avoid their clan/sect being destroyed. So: our retarded hero went crazy several years before, after going up against the Ghost Massacre Sect. He’s the only one who can stand up to them…even if the price is his mind…and the Ghost Massacre Sect is living up to its name and slaughtering other clans. There have been others who were cured of this madness–by the heroine?? or at least by their clan–so the marriage alliance is going to hopefully be mutually beneficial. Mind you, actually telling her about this would have been a VERY GOOD IDEA… because she is not dealing with it at all well.

But! The mother in law makes her a deal. If she can stand it for two years without changing her mind, they will give her a divorce. (Mother in law actually does kind of like her, even though she’s an obnoxious MIL in public.) Hubby hero has a good heart. It’s just that he is…well…genuinely retarded. It’s like having a human-sized, semi-housetrained puppy that you can’t actually return to the pound.

But our heroine is a genuine heroine (it looks like), and the fate of her clan and many others, unknowingly, rests upon her. So after episode 2 (“One Hundred Unsuccessful Ways At Escaping A Marriage”) proves… unsuccessful–and she realizes that, idiot or not, he’s kind of cute, and he means well–she finally sets to work….

– The heroine trying to strangle herself with her own hair cracked me up. (“Oh yeah, I tried that once. It doesn’t work.”)
– Heroine: “My kung fu is second to none! If anybody gets in my way, I will handle him impolitely!” Heroine’s loyal maid: “My kung fu is slightly inferior to hers!”
– I genuinely want to tell the brother in laws to f*ck off, they’re really obnoxious. I’m pretty sure they’re reasonable guys under different circumstances, but you genuinely conspired and tricked her into marrying a retard and now you’re mad that she’s mad? Fuck off. Seriously.
– HA, she does get some revenge on them later….and their mother is NOT SYMPATHETIC. Hah, she tells THEM to go out and get married. That was very therapeutic. I hope one of them falls for a servant girl.
– HA, she does it twice. But I do genuinely hope someone kicks Second Brother’s ass, he’s obnoxious.
– The family doctor having a cute daughter he needs to get a book for…for her to roll around on…because she’s actually a hedgehog…(and the sad lute playing when he has a breakdown–and pausing when he pauses to take in her reaction)–AHAHAHAHA.
– The Ghost Massacre Sect has a magic kung fu power by which adepts can become a) very fat, b) turn into CGI tumbleweed balls and unconvincingly kill people. Well, it’s nice to see the Chinese get into the representation thing.
– The family finally accepting the heroine was nice….even if they do let her get beaten when when she screws up.
– LOL, the reveal that the heroine’s mother DEFINITELY wore the pants in the family and had her husband totally and completely cowed….was rather amusing.

Rated: It drove me just slightly batty to only be able to get the first five episodes….so I now have a Chinese streaming app on my phone, for which I have basically no data to actually, you know, STREAM. If my phone comes down with the coronavirus, know that I died happy.