never boast

When he had marked their places, he went down to the sentinels and killed them silently, one by one. And this, to slay seven men who watched for their enemy with weapons in their hands, without sign or outcry, and lay their bodies down in the dark, was not the least of things done by him in his lifetime and the many wars and battles and feats of arms of it; but it is not told of, for of his own deeds he never boasted, but only those who served him.

D’awwuuuugh

A Japanese man has been friends with a fish for over thirty years, including hand-feeding it when it was injured and couldn’t feed itself.

My studies of the genre have assured me that Yoriko is actually a woman of the shrine guardian-species and will one day take human form to say good-bye to her dying friend….

(Plus or minus a romance subplot with his grandchildren.)

Overheard: NiNjAa

“Hey, how’s your day going?”
“A lot better now actually after I scared this guy and he said I was like a ninja…”

“This case went through years of litigation and settled for–that much.”
“…WOOOOAHHH.”

“So I learned the sexy new term, and it’s ‘tactical retreat.’ It’s not running away with your tail tucked, it’s ‘tactical retreat.‘”

“–and somehow I’m ordering a box of hay off the Internet for like fifty dollars–”

“She’d pick that damn thing up and be like, ‘oh lookit the snake, isn’t it cute,’ and I’d be like ‘you’re sick.‘”

“I don’t know what a bearded dragon is, is it gonna burn my face when it breathes fire?”

wanton and malicious commission of cookery

So I found myself in possession of slightly more energy than brainpower the other day and also needed something for potluck, preferably something that would dispose of some of the food-adjacent items I bought while high on nyquil that are still in my fridge. Here is the bread pudding recipe resulting, and it apparently tasted pretty good, because I managed to bring none of it back home.

Ingredients:

– 4 eggs

– About half a can of condensed milk

– Some sugar, IDK, about a cup? I wasn’t paying much attention at this point.

– Half a loaf of bread torn into chunks

– Some spices, but you can skip this because:

– 2 cups of sugar

– 1/4-1/2 tsp of xanthan gum, probably don’t use a plastic fork to lift it out of the bag.

– Lemonade

Directions:

– Do about ten seconds of research for “bread pudding.” Reject all recipes as unimaginative and involving ingredients not in your kitchen.

– Preheat the oven. Mine turns on to 375* with the press of one button, so 375* it is. (Fahrenheit.)

– Beat the eggs, milk, and some sugar together in a bowl.

– Tear or cut up the bread into small chunks and douse them thoroughly in the egg/milk/sugar mixture.

– Pour into a baking dish.

– That really looks a little bland, surely we could do something involving that one recipe that said something about lemon sauce…

– Investigate fridge.

– 2 cups of sugar and the xanthan gum into the medium-sized pot and place on heat, stirring for a minute or two with said fork until the gum powder is distributed.

– Pour whatever looks like the right amount of lemonade into the pot and stir frequently, or in between tearing up chunks of bread because you don’t own a knife that will cut bread.

– Crank up the heat after a while since it seems like nothing is happening (continue stirring, though).

– When it looks nice and syrupy take it off the heat, add it to the pudding mix in the baking dish, and place in oven.

– Give it about….15-25 minutes, remove, and cool overnight, making sure to maintain proper aseptic technique when surreptitiously sampling the corners.

Still not sure what to do with the rest of the lemonade though.

palpate

The Lady Toressa read through the letter, holding it as if idly in one hand. Then she laid it aside and looked directly at the man before her. Her eyes were pale, ice-gray, their centers wide and depthlessly black. Those eyes stared him down as though they could see through the cloth of his tunic and through his skin, down to the sinew and blood and bone beneath.

Mors started. He had not realized for several seconds that she had left her chair and was approaching. She moved lightly, almost without sound.

She halted while still paces distant and reached out her right hand, flexing her long fingers in the open air as if to touch his shoulder, the stump of his arm.

He felt nothing, not even a stir of air.

She returned to her chair only to stand by it, resting one hand on its high back. Her gaze was indirect again, diffident. Her voice, too, was diffident, but what she said was: “His was made of silver. Yours will have to be copper, or such. Come to the workshop in three days.”

Mors rose. He bowed. He had not yet said a word to this woman. He wondered how one did.

“—Shadowtree.”

Mors halted.

“Who killed the giant that broke your arm?”

“….It was the captain-general. Ihlander.”

“Of course.” said Toressa.

She did not reach for the letter again until he was gone from the chamber and the doors shut behind him, and the swirling dust-motes had settled again to the stone-flagged floor.

Unexpected Haul

–The Book of the City of Ladies – Christine de Pizan (!!)

– My Side of the Mountain – Jean Craighead George

– The Yellow Hoard – Kenneth Robeson (a.k.a. the same publishing company that released The Shadow and Doc Savage, and who workshopped the character with those respective authors.)

– The Ringed Castle  & Checkmate – Dorothy Dunnett (!!!!)

And plus three pairs of jeans that was 12$.

Or spoken: Attitude

“Three chihuahuas and a teenager, you must have a lot of attitude going on in that house.”

“It looked like the typical Mennonite, Amish place, with the traditional house and the severe overgrazing–”

“I’d drink from the hose but I know where it’s been.”

“She said, ‘don’t let me catch you selling to anyone.’ And I just said, ‘well, you won’t catch me….'”
“Yeah, okay, Charlene.”

“And I’m like, my dude, I know that the printer isn’t supposed to print wirelessly, I just want it to continue doing so.”*
* It isn’t.

MidJourney: detailed armor…and hot elf guys

• 

  I fed this (version 3, I think) image back into MidJourney using the Describe function. The most likely option, slightly modified, was: elf king in cleric armor, sword and shield, by sashul, in the style of hyper – detailed illustrations, dark gold and red, devilcore, heroic illustrations, dynamic and action – packed, dark silver and white

• 

  “Oh my goodness.”

• 

  Elf king in cleric armor, glittering spear, by sashul, in the style of hyper – detailed illustrations, dark gold and red, heroic illustrations, dynamic and action – packed, dark silver and white

• 

  High elf in armor and leaning on his sword, in the style of magali villeneuve, full length portrait, short silver hair, stern and courageous mood, detailed and realistic armor, heroic masculinity, krenz cushart, light silver and crimson, uniformly staged images

Or spoken: a deux

“L and G moved in together. It turns out they had a relationship that was….”
“–a psychotic folie a deux?”
“Yes, precisely.”

“And like all vets, he writes like he’s an axe murderer.”

“Have you seen John Wick 4?”
“Uh-uh.”
“It’s pretty good. If you like shooting people and techno music. And people shooting people to techno music.”

blurb

They were undetectible from deep space in the low lunar orbit, and there was no motion at all from the great Ship. But Chane was still edgy. He’d gotten tenser as the moment arrived. Helping her armor up, he’d been white-lipped with pain and—probably—envy.

“There could be drones probing the debris belt.”

“There could be a moon made out of cheese and a sun made out of stone.”