Movies With Others – Pride & Prejudice 1995 – Get Cultured (repost)

[A/N: this is back from my days in the tiger pits. No mothers were involved in the making of this post.]

“Riders, are we gonna get cultured tonight?”
“Yeah!”
“Wait, what are we doing?”
“Getting cultured. We’re watching Pride and Prejudice.”
“And Zombies?”

“A2, come get cultured!”
“….what?”
“We’re watching Pride and Prejudice.”
“But no zombies.”

“It’s kind of creepy that he’s just staring at her. I mean, he was awkward in the other version but this one–”
“Even more awkward.”
“Yeahhh…”

“So…what she just said was, ‘I heard you’re into this guy and I’m gonna tell it to you straight,’ but then she said, ‘you gotta be careful, he’s poor’?”

“He still staring at her?”
“It’s so awkward!”

“The mother isn’t going to be like this the whole movie, is she?”
“Yep.”
“Oh my g*d. I hate her already.”

“I like how the dad is just out of it. He’s so chill.”

“So awkward.”

“Homegirl is sassy! I love it. I like this girl. I hate everyone else, but I like her.”
“Well, what about Jane?”
“Oh, Jane is OK.”
“And what about the dad?”
“Oh, well, sure, I like him too.”
“What about Darcy?”
“Oh, well, I love Colin Firth, so sure. Even though he’s a creepy awkward dude who stares at girls instead of talking to them.”
“Hey, talking to people is hard.”
“…fair.”

“Oh my gosh. Is this the cousin guy?”
“He’s definitely more weasly. And possibly more ratlike.”
“I think he’s less ratlike but more weasly in this one.”
“You guys, he’s creepy!”

“THIS GUY! He’s so creepy!”
“He’s supposed to be like funny in a pathetic way.”
“He’s so creepy, it’s like–it’s like actually making me physically uncomfortable to see him.”

“Ooo, ooh is this gonna be the scene where he finds her in his house? DUDE. I cannot imagine how it would be if I came home and the person I asked to marry me and who turned me down was there IN MY HOUSE.”
“I hope this scene is as good as the other one, because that was deadass hilarious.”

“I feel like I need to read this book.”
“You need to read the book.”

“….so awkward.”

“What did I miss?”
“I wish I could catch you up, but…”
“….culture. You missed getting cultured.”
“Oh. That makes me sad.”

“When are the zombies going to show up?”

(repost) Movies with my Mother: Rogue One

(Reposted from a time at which the prospect of further degradation to Star Wars still stung.)

“Where is the girl?”
“I dunno.”
“There was a girl. There was! She got out of bed and then what?”
“I dunno.”

“Is this the same guy?”
“I dunno.”
“Why do you think I brought you in here?!”

“What? To the people who were rescuing her?”

“This thing makes my teeth go on edge.”
“Sh.”
“It’s stupid.”
“Shhhh.”

“Is that her mother?”

“Whhhat!? The father?”
“Yes.”
“That’s what they want him to do?”

“Where they going?”
“Jeddha.”
“Which is?”
“Some planet.”
“It must be where they have the Death Star, or, uh, the Alliance people. Somewhere with all these stupid names.”

“I don’t understand what’s going on.”
“Mnmn.”
“You said you looked at it.”
“I skipped.”
“What is going on here?”
“I think he’s a fanatic.”
“Was that a defector?”
“He’s going to kill the guy.”
“Why?”
“Bcause he’s a fanatic.”

“He’s still alive?”
“NO, he’s long dead, he’s CGI.”
“Whhat?”
“They’ve got his voice wrong.”
“Whhhat, he’s fake? He’s really fake?”
“They got his voice so wrong.”
“I’m amazed he’s even there.”
“OH WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THE FAKE CGI LEIA AT THE END.”

“Is this CGI too?”
“Yes.”
“What?”
“Everything is CGI.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Even the people.”

“Why are they having that out?”
“What?”
“The pilot.”
“Who?”
“The pilot who defected. I thought the Alliance had him.”
“No, they’re the Alliance splinter group fanatics.” *{Educated guess.}
“Tch.”

“Who was he really going to if he wasn’t going to them?”
“I dunno.”
“Why don’t you watch the movie, instead of typing, so you can tell me?”

“Who is he?”
“He’s Donnie Yen.”
“Never heard of him.”
“You don’t watch enough kung fu movies.”
“He’s Chinese? He is not Chinese.”
“He is Chinese!”
“Look at him, he is not Chinese.”
“What?”
“He is not Chinese.”
“Him, there, is not Chinese?”
“Not him, there, him, this guy, here.”

“See, kung fu guy.”

“You know what the Imperium would have done if they had known she was a hostage? They’d have gone and rescued her and messed up the alliance cell that was holding her. Or killed her.”

“Wait a minute, everybody’s listening.”
“Yeah.”
“So everybody hears it?”
“Yeah.”
“So it’s not a secret message.”

“He’s lying?”
“I dunno.”

“OH THERE’S NO WAY IT WOULD REACH THAT FAR UP INTO THE ATMOSPHERE!”
“Sh.”

“What’d he say?”
“She’s afraid he’s going to kill her father.”
“Oh, well we know that.”

“What’s this?”
“I dunno.”

“Where did all these folk come from?”
“I dunno. I dunno! The tape skipped!”

“What!? What happened?! How! How did she find him just like that? They gon’ get her!”

“Did he kill him by any chance?”
“No, the rebels killed him, I think. The airstrike killed him.”

“Ok, tell me what’s happened when I come back.”
…
“Jyn realized that Cassian was planning to kill her father, and she accused him, and he’s denying it….but he admitted that he was going to, and she got mad, and he says she’s a hypocrite for only just now caring about the rebellion now that her father’s dead; and he’s a soldier who has to follow orders.”
“Mhhm.”

“Oh, oh, oh, it’s the bit with Darth Vader come quick. Oh, well, the first bit with Darth Vader.”
“He’s CGI, too?”
“No, he’s real.”
“Is he going to look ugly or something?”
“No, he looks like Darth Vader.”
“He has the thing on his head.”

“Duhnnnn duhhhhh duh na na nah….I didn’t say that.”

“Is he going to kill this man? Why would he need to kill him?”

[“I deserve”]
“Uh oh.”

“He killing him? Why’s he doing that?”
“Cause he’s….I dunno. He’s very annoying.”

“Tsch! That’s what Rogue One is? Tehee.”

“Dude. DUDE. IS THIS GUY EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE? NO HE’S NOT.”

“Who? Who are they talking about?”
“LEIA.”
“Oh. Waitaminute.”

“Ok, they say this half of the movie is a lot better than the other half.”

“Oh my gosh, they coming there?….That’s not them. Uh oh.”

“That was an Unnecessary Combat Roll.”
“It was?”

“What are they doing?”
“Setting bombs.”
“Where?”
“Wherever they want.”

“Where were they going before?”

“Uh oh! Look!”
“What, what happened?”
“Look!”
“Oh. Them things.”

“WHY ARE YOU SHOOTING OUT OF THE WINDOWS?!”

[carnival claws for the files, really?]

“What is it with this guy and his cloak?!”
“I do not know.”

“He’s dead? Why wasn’t The Force with him on the way back?”

“Heh. The Force is not with him. Heh. Sorry.”

“WOULDN’T THE OTHER SHIP MOVE?”
“Sh.”
“IT WOULD MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!”
“Hush!”

[THAT DARTH VADER SCENE]
“Who are these? Rebels? Uh oh. Oh my.”

Movies with my Mother: A Day of Fury (1956)

(Reposted from….wow, way back in 2017.)

“Dun duuuun dun!”

“Jagade? Never heard of him.”
“He’s fictional.”

“See, a brown horse. You wouldn’t be able to tell in black and white that he was riding a brown horse. It’d just be a black horse. Or a white horse.”

“Jagadi. Jagati?”

“What’s she always looking at?”
“Him.”

” ‘Windah.’ ”

“He’s pushing his luck. He is!”
“He’s doing it on purpose.”
“Yes, but he is pushing it! Look at him!”

” ‘Excuse us. Give us a minute please.’ ‘Beat it?’ ”
“The kid deserved it.”
“Could still be polite.”

“See, look, he actually knows how how to ride.”

“What’s she doing?…checking him out?”

“Bet you someone saw her.”
“Yep, see, the other girl. Ungrateful!”

“Uh oh, ambush. Ambush!”
“No, it’s the girl waiting for him….oh, it’s the other girl. Huh.”

“Noooo, you can get down without his help.”
“They always do.”

“Tell me what happens when I get back. […] What did he do to the schoolteacher girl?”

“They’ll turn against him. Look, she turned against him already.”
“Yeah, but he knows it.”
“That lady didn’t want that girl to come back, look.”
“He does it on purpose. He pushes people. He likes it.”
“And they turn against him.”
“Yeah, but when people try to fight back he kills them.”

“What. Did that. Prove.”

“He just told you everything you needed to know, now go back.”

“Uh oh, uh oh did he really send that young man?”
“He didn’t but he’s been egging him on the whole time.”

“Uhhhh ohhhhh.”

“He a big man, he got a gun, huh.”

“Too bad.”
“He might survive!”

[very nearly simultaneously:]
“Turn around…he’s going to turn around…”
“Uh oh I can’t look, when you can’t see people’s backs, they’re gonna see something–”
[he sees something and it’s genuinely shocking]
“Uhhhohhhhhhhh!”
“Oh my gosh!”

[“One of us will explain later.”]
“Teehee!”
“Good one.”

“All that is sass. The marshal said get, now.”

“What! Why did the bell get him!”
“The preacher beat him–mostly by being shot–”
“Wait. How?”
“The preacher stopped them, they were about to lynch the marshal. And the marshal was their only hope. So the preacher beat him, and there was enough of them to ring the bell. Or something.”

“I didn’t know he was faster!”
“Of course he’s faster, he’s the good guy.”

“That was a good movie.”
“It was intresting.”

Half the battle

“Do you want to watch Shang-Chi?”
“What is that?”
“That’s the new Marvel movie.”
“Is Shang-Chi some Chinese person?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t wanna watch that. Is there a new Avengers movie?”
“No, they’re all dead.”
“What?”
“They all got killed off so they could bring in new characters like Shang-chi.”

“Does anybody want to watch Ninja?”
“No.”

“Does anybody want to watch Ninja 2: Shadow of a Tear?”
“No.”
“We didn’t go for Ninja 1, she trying to sell us Ninja 2!”
“….Batman Ninja…?”
“No.”

“Can we see Frozen 2?”
“No.”
“No.”

“Your uncle is not a movie person. You know what he likes? Hallmark movies.”
“Dune is kind of like a Hallmark movie….”

“Can I see something like Legally Blonde?”

“L, do you know Audie Murphy?”
“Uh-huh. He is a cowboy actor. Oooold-time.”
“Audi….”
“Audie.”
“Audi.”
“Audie! He’s not a car, he’s a person.”

“You know what is a good movie is? House of 1000 Corpses.”
“I have Ninja Assassin…..”

“What is Blade Runner about? Is that about ice skating?”
“She’s writing that stupid question you asked down, look.”

“The Matrix! You haven’t seen The Matrix.”
“I haven’t? Is it like Terminator?”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“It’s like a Hallmark movie.”
“Riders, stop.”

“You know what I like? Always In My Heart.”
“What is that?”
“It’s like an old Hallmark. 1950s.”
“Does it have action?”
“It’s like an old Hallmark movie. It’s very sweet.”
“Does it have ninjas?”
“It’s sweet.”
“Does it have cowboys?”
“It’s sweet.”
“Does it have terminators?”
“….It has all of them.”
“Oh.”
“Do you have it?”
“No.”

“This is Always In My Heart?”
“Yes.”
“It is?”
“D, you are giving her such good lines.”

Movies With My Mother – The Phantom (1996)

“What kind of movie is this? What are they looking for?”
“I dunno.”
“Can you just give me an outline? What are they looking for?”
“Treasure.”
“….I could have figured that out myself.”

“This is like that movie with Harrison. Who stole from who? They steal from Indiana?”
“Yes.”
“Blatantly?!”

“Who is that?”

“Oh look! right behind there! Did he get away? Did he get away with that little head thing?”

“This is so like that Harrison movie. Or was it Lara?”

“And what’s with the purple outfit?”

“Uh oh. Uh oh! Oh this is too much.”

“….This is like Batman!”

“Oh that’s a shame. The whole bridge is gone.”
“But the kid’s OK.”
“Hmm.”

“So what happened to that skull?”
“The other guys got it.”

“I know him. I don’t care for him. He was a bad man in another movie…”

“What’s with the hair, look, check the hair out!”

“Is there a book to this?”
“Probably?”

“Look at him, it’s Anthony…is it?”
“…Oh yeah,  it is….”
“Anthony…”
“Anthony Quinn! Wow, look at him!”
“Yes! I was thinking Anthony Quayle. It is him! Quinn.”

“Look, look! He already got the mayor and the police chief!”

“Ooooh what’s he goin’ do with him? Is he goin’ mess with his eyes?…Ohmigosh!”

“Who is this?”
“A bad guy.”
“A bad girl! Bad girls!”
“Hey, it’s Catherine Zeta-Jones!”
“What.”

“Stop the thing! I just got it. Stop it! I just got it! I just got it! I just got it! Diana Palmer! That rings a bell! It’s The Phantom! The Phantom from the comic strip! Oh, I just remembered it when I heard her name! He was purple? I remember it being black and white! Oh my gosh!”

“Who is this guy, by the way?”

“I don’t remember The Phantom being…I barely remember it. This is from when I was ten years old!”

“Why he taking the child with him? He’s putting the child in danger. He is! He’s going to go rescue someone, he’ll be in danger!”
…
“OK, he’ll hold the horse. Hopefully.”
“No, he’s sending him home.”
“Good. Hopefully he is smart enough to go home!”

“Did The Phantom have a dog? The dog is his scout?”

“How did the horse know where to go?”
“The dog told it.”
“Of course.”

“How come they…oh. Because they shot at the thing.”

“Oh no. That plane gonna go into a mountain?”
“Yep.”
“Why?”
“They always do.”
“And blow up?”
“They always do.”

“Why is that stupid horse going so fast?”

“What did they just see? Who are these people?”
“Bad guyssss.”
“Did he just throw that man out?”
“Yes.”

“What, did she get shot or something? All of a sudden she tired?”
“It’s the adrenaline dump.”

“I just don’t remember anything about The Phantom. Just that I used to watch it. And I used to read it for a little while. It was a comic book. Way back.”

“What’s all this?”
“Treasure.”
“Where did he get it?”
“It’s a secret hidden temple. They always have treasure in secret hidden temples.”
“And they are in the secret hidden temple? And he just gives her a string of pearls? To remember him by? Just like that?”

“That is such a stupid costume.”
“Yeah.”

“Oh he’s signing his own obituary. His death thing.”

“See him? He back there is a traitor! He’s working for them! See!”

“This fool gon’ break the glass?! Oh! How did he get there so fast? Ooooh, someone told him!! That guy told him! Look!”

“Ooooh, look look, what’s happening, Riders?”

“Oh, he brought the skull together, you’re not supposed to bring them together! They do something when they’re together. They’re pointing to the third skull, look!”

“I don’t know that girl’s face. She have a face like she could be a thousand girls.”

“He has to put more oomph into when he hits them so they stay down!”

“What is his power actually?”
“He’s got some guns.”
“What is The Phantom’s power?”
“Apparently to have guns and wear purple.”

“I don’t wanna see this. This is violence! How did he get out?”
“He jumped out.”
“So everybody can see him? Oh and the police will be after him!”

“Oh that’s pretty cool.”
“It’s what he used to in the jungle!”

“The Phantom. Gosh, if I could remember anything except ‘The Phantom.’”

“You mean this fool couldn’t get away without them seeing?”

“So what did that girl say?”
“She knows who he is.”
“Who who is?”
“The Phantom.”
“Oh. But Diana didn’t know.”
“Diana does know.”
“How did she know?”
“HIS MASK DOESN’T EVEN COVER HIS FACE AND HIS VOICE IS THE SAME. SHE’S NOT AS DUMB AS LOIS LANE MOM.”

“How did he get up on the plane?”

“Ohhhh, look, it’s creepy! They don’t know where they going, but they’re going? Oh look at him, look at his mouth, heh heh heh. He’s scared. Look, they really are going in somewhere.”

“Amazing. They knew exactly where to go.”

“Who are these people? How did they get there?”
“They been guarding it all along.”
“Why?”
“It’s a sacred hidden temple, you always have people guarding sacred hidden temples.”

“What was that? You weren’t looking. What was that?”
“What did it look like?”
“Looked like something going under the bridge. It looked like a critter.”
“Then it was a critter going under the bridge.”

“Your dad says I would be scared of Dune because there are worms. Worrrrrrrms.”

“Say that again!”
“Things going under the bridge?”
“No, before that. You said something and it was funny.”
“…”

“How he don’t know the man won’t just beat him up and take both skulls?…Uh oh.”

“Oh, he gon’ die.”

“Uh oh! Look! Look!….Awwww, again?”

[due to a stuck FF button, we missed about five minutes of the climax]

“…Star Wars.”

“Seriously?!”
“So all that destroyed him? And the fire is from that….?”
“The skulls…I dunno, they reacted with the other skull?”
“What other skull?”
“The skull on his ring was the fourth skull.”
“Oh.”

“Wasn’t bad at all!”

Movies with My Mother and Aunt and Uncles) – Maverick (1994)

REPOST REVIEW

“You’re taking notes? On what?”

“Something’s gonna crawl out of that bag…I guess.”
“Oh, it’s a snake.”
“OH. MY. GOSH.”
“Awww, lookit the li’l snake.”

“OK, I’m liking the scenery.”

“Mel Gibson? Thirty years ago? Ten years ago?”
“Thirty.”
“The man is old now!”
“He is not old…”

“Teehee, he’s on the donkey?”
“I’m surprised it’s going where he wants it to go.”
“Oh, it went.”

“He gave THEM the dollar?”
“And the mule.”

“Jody?”
“Yep.”

“They’re watching all the money he’s bringing.”
“A whole bunch of crooks.”
“I wonder when the hour is up, what then?…Ooo, she’s giving signs. Look, she’s giving signs.”

“Uh oh…uh oh….UH OH!” (my aunt).

“Is that the guy?”
“John Wesley Hardin?”
“What did he say his name was/”
“Maverick.”
“No, the gun guy.’
“Johnny.”
“Oh, it was him.”

“Uh oh!” (my mother)

“Should we–you should tell them what happens!”
“No.”
“No.”
“No!”

“Why did he tell the boys they could shoot him?”
“Cause he didn’t like getting beat up.”
“But the whole thing was staged!”
“NNnnghph!”
“SORRY. Was that part of it?”
“…Yes.”

“Jody’s in love!”
“….but…”
“I thought she was married?”

“Ok, that was something. She got him already?”
” ‘May I’…what?”

“She’s so good.”
“Jody Foster is so good!”

“She took his wallet again!”

“Uh oh!”
“A real bank robbery! Heh!”

“He had a thousand!”
…
“He took the dollar!”

“Crook!”
“They gave him more?”
“Probably. Here’s your 17, 30, 8…”
“He ripped them off!”

“Uh oh!” (my uncle).

“The thief and the old guy! Did you hear that? This is funny!”

“Oh boy.” (my mother).

“Uh oh.” (my aunt.)
“He’s dead!”

“For real-for real?”

“She in his wallet again!”

“…that saved a wretch like me?”
“Are you singing?”
“No.”
“No.”

“Rrr! Heheheh.”

“Bet you a dollar she’s stealing.”

“That is SO DUMB.”

“She took it? She stole the money?!”

“Did he call the horse Ollie?”

“Is that the same guy?”

“James Coburn! That’s James Coburn!”
“Oh! That’s him, I couldn’t remember his name!”

“That’s Denver Pyle.”
“Whoever that is.”
“…he was Uncle Jesse on Dukes of Hazzard?”
“He’s gonna jump!”

“He’s all outa money.”
” ‘But I was so close!’ ”

“This thing is a setup.”
“Which thing?”
“What?”
“Which thing?”
“This thing. This whole thing.”
“….why would you say that.”
“It’s a setup.”

“What’s she want from him now?…oh.”
….
“He’s as bad as she is, he’s hiding his stuff.”
“She’s just gonna reach over and take it. With her skinny hands.”

“Uh oh.”

“That was Waylon Jennings!”
“Who?”
“The singer!”
“But who?”
“The guy they just threw overboard, who is a singer who was just singing the song just now!”

“Who did that?”
“Either her or James Coburn. James Coburn looks like a crook.”

“Four more bongs…one…”

“Uh oh!”
“HEY!”
“Is that the dealer cheating?”
“The dealer is dealing for the Indian-looking guy.”
“He’s dealing off the bottom.”

“A full house?”
“Looks like.”

“UH OH!”
“CHEATER!”

“With your Pappy nonsense again? Pappy says it’s an ace!”

“Look at those big blues…”

“He tricked him!”

“All these people supposed to have no guns, where’d that gun come from? Everybody’s got guns!”

“Uh oh!” (my aunt.)
“Uh oh!” (my mother.)

“It’s a little put-put boat!”

“Uh oh!”

“Something’s behind all this, I know it.”
“It’s her and James Coburn!”

“It’s a shame those dresses don’t come back in our time period.”
“They too much.”
“They’re beautiful!”

“He’s counting the money?”

“TOLD YOU!”

“OH. MY. GOSH.”

“The man won the money fair and square! Why you gonna take it from him?”

“Uh oh.”
“Gonna drown him?”

“What! What! Oh my gosh!”
“That’s his FATHER?”
“Did you see that?”

“Uh oh!”

“OH MY GOSH IT”S THE GIRL!”

Movies with my Mother – Hail Caesar (2016)

[A/n: This is a repost from 2017 session. As of this week in 2021, we got half-way through Goliyon Ki Rasleela Ram-Leela and both tapped out.]

“He’s a bounty hunter?”
“Nnnno.”

“Ok, ok, who is he?”
“He’s the fixer guy. So, his job is to go run down the stars when they go on a bender, or get married in Mexico, or get into an illicit postcard situation or something.”

“Who is she?”

“What’s going on here?”

“Why are they hitting them? They’re moving, aren’t they?”
“It’s what you do to slaves.”
“And where did Eddie come into this?”

“Why would he stand up….this is the promising guy?….OH PLEASE…he’s being shot at? Oh no!”

“Apparently that guy is going to be playing Harrison Ford in the young Han Solo movie.”
“Is he? Han Solo….Han Solo…Han Solo….who is he?”

“What?…oh, he’s Jewish.”

“Is this a modern thing? When was it made?”
“Last year.”
“Huh.”

“Why did they kidnap him? Tell me the reason.”
“They’re secretly marxists and they want to indoctrinate him in marxist doctrine.”
“How?”
“Because he’s dumb as a plank.”
“Why?”
“So he can spread marxist propaganda like they used to accuse people of doing.”

“What is this in aid of?'”
“They used to have musical numbers, remember?”
“Yes, I remember Esther Williams–this is like her.”
“This is like a parody of her.”
“Why are they making it a parody?”
“Well, it’s more like a homage.”

“Is that Joanna Scarlett?”

“What’s this?”
“They’re trying to switch him over from being a cowboy actor to being a serious drama actor.”
“I see that.”

“If this is modern, what’s the deal with the hair?”
“What’s the deal with the hair?”

“….Huh. What….why are they wanting him when he can’t do it?”

“He’s not giving good directions, what is this! Foolishness!…do I have to look at this?”

“Why is he talking like that?”
“Because he’s Texan. Also because he has dentures.”

“It’s a stupid line, anyway.”
“He is a stupid man!”

“Who are they all?”
“They’re a secret cabal of communist writers.”
“Oh, they put the little propaganda in their scripts?”
“Yes.”
“Oh. Just like liberals today.”
“Yeah.”
“Do not write that down! Your audience will be mad at you!”

“Why do they want money?”
“Because…I dunno. Dirty communists…”

“No what?”
“No gams.”

“I know his face.”
“He doesn’t have a face, he’s just a slab of meat.”
“Him!”
“Channing Tatum.”

“Oh, that’s cute.”

“What was that?”
“The pregnant Esther Williams girl, he’s the father, but he’s already married.”

“Oh, so they just want some money? Some profit?”

“No faces?”
“This is just the opening credits.”

“Oh my what happened to her!?”

“Oh that’s good! The fools should have changed it from the beginning! What a line….This is boring!”
“You just said you liked it!”
“It’s boring….who is Caesar?”

“Lips and the hips and the what?”

“Why haven’t they released that man?”
“Because they still haven’t got the money. It’s still on its way to them!”

“The two columnists are like the two sisters who–what! Is he one of them!?”

“Well, it shows all actors to be kinda stupid.”
“Well, it’s ’cause they are.”
“Argh.”

“What movie is this?”
“Huh….Well, I guess he’s Washington crossing the Delaware.”

“What is this now?”
“The submarine’s going to pick him up.”
“The what….that’s good. That’s nice. Submarine, yeah.”

“Oh no!”

“Who does he represent? I mean, who is he, who went to the others?”

“Who was her source?”
“Him who went on the submarine.”

“Twenty-seven hours?”

“See, that was a good movie!”
“No, it wasn’t.”

[also: MwmM for Maverick 1994? She refused to watch it until I put the notebook away.]

Twins of Evil (1971) – Attempted Watch Party

“So Riders, what are we watching?”
“Okay, so, there’s this movie about this man, who is a man of God and he smites evil.”
“Sounds good!”
“And then his nieces show up and he ends up driving them to evil and then he regrets it.”
“Still sounds good….let’s start it!”
“Why are you grinning like that, Riders?”

“Is this old-timey kind of movie?”
“Yes.”
“I mean, is it set in old times, or does it have old actors?”
“….yes.”

“Puritan?”
“I guess.”
“Puritan, right?”
“Yeah, but they have crucifixes and they make the sign of the cross. I think the filmmakers just got confused.”

“Just like that?! Just like that they burning her?”
“Was it like that really?”
“Yes. Unfortunately, in America they did have vigilantes, and they did go around and accuse people and they did burn witches.”
“This isn’t America.”
“….what?”

“Are those real twins?”

“I saw a black man.”

“So who is this man? Him who is fooling around with the girl? Is he a Puritan, too?”
“NO!”
“He is in black and white, too, look.”
“That’s ’cause he’s in his underwear!”
“Oh.”
“That’s a lot of underwear.”

“Oh! They are going to become bad girls. So thus they are twins of evil. I get it now, ahhh.”

“OHHHH HE BETTER NOT GO IN THERE WITH THEM!…phew! He evil, man! He’s the one who needs to be burned at the stake.”
“Well, he’s trying to smite evil.”
“HE EVIL.”

“I mean…I’d personally not be all that fired up about pleasures beyond the grave.”

“He gon’ kill her?”
“….”
“He gon’ kill her? Riders. Put the other one on”
“Yes, Riders what is that other one you said with the soldier who has to rescue his daughter?”
“Aww you guys, we didn’t even get to the bit with the vampires yet!”
“There are vampires in this movie?”

Ride Lonesome (1959) – Movies With My Mother (repost review)

“He’s a bounty hunter?–I got no use for bounty hunters. He’s like a mercenary!”

“What are all these other saddles?”

“What! What is he doing!?”
“He’s dead.”

“But Indians don’t come out at night.”
“What?”
“They should leave now!”
“No, if they leave now, the Indians will get them when they’re out in the open at night.”
“But Indians don’t come out at night! Or is it in the day that Indians don’t come out…”
“They can’t leave now.”
“Why not?”
“Indians!”
“…”
“…”

“Who’s he? This guy.”
“That’s James Coburn.”
“What! He! He is very young! What is he in the movie?”
“He’s the dumb sidekick.”
“….he was very young.”

“Why is this fool going out at night! There could be Indians! Yes! It could be them making that noise and you can’t tell! They do, you know!”

“Still, she could have held it together.”
“Hmmmm.”

“Who are they? Mescaleros again? They don’t want to talk this time?…they might not even give a horse this time.”

“Ooof, that guy looked like the horse came down on him.”

“They went away? Too many of them dead?”

“To get a what?”
“A woman.”
“No, he said something else. To–”
“Get a woman.”
“No, he said something else before that.”
“To get his hands on a woman.”
“There no Indian women?”
“She’s blonde.”
“If there was dye, back then, people could dye their hair!”

“Why don’t they build a fire?”
“Indians.”
“They could build a smokeless fire.” [The Mother of Skaith has also read her Louis L’Amour.]

“Amnesty? They had amnesty for killers?…haha, maybe he got the wrong word it’s some other word.”

“What’s with the feather in his hat? What kind of foolishness is this? Is this to tell us something about his character? I’ve never seen anybody like that. Psssht!”

“What! If the leg is broken, I thought you can’t do nothing for the horse!”
“It’s not broken, it’s just hurt. He doesn’t want to stand up, because it’s hurt, so he just wants to lie there and he thinks he’s dying.”
“Oh.”
…
“Maybe they just need to rub the leg. And put comfrey on it.”
“They don’t have comfrey, Mom.”
“They can find comfrey!”
“…”

“What’s he doing? He’s fixing to do something. What’s he doing?”
“He’s moving to go get that gun over there.”
“Oh. Why?”

“He should not have done that! Even if he lied, he should not have proven that he lied! Now no one will believe him, even when he’s not talking about guns! What did he prove!?”
“Billy is a coward, though. That’s why it worked.”
“It doesn’t matter that the boy is a coward! You should not lie to him!”

“That’s Lee van Cleef!”

“What’s she doing?”
“She’s doing her hair.”

“What’s that?”
“A tree.”
“Yes, but what–oh, it’s a hanging tree? What is the point of a hanging tree? I didn’t hear what he just said, what did he say?”
“He said, Brigade used to hang people from it.”

“Shoot ‘im!”

“There are very few platinum blondes like her, you know.”
“Probably not natural.”
“That’s what I said, they’re rare.”

“So he gon’ tell her, fool, and she’s gon’ tell him! Not very bright!”

“…Oh, you mean she’s not a natural blonde. Probably.”

“Why would he hang her!”
“He was young and getting revenge.”
“But why would he hang the man’s wife! That’s not revenge, she’s not the man!”
“He wanted to hurt him, that’s why he went after her.”
“But he didn’t need to do that!”
“But he did it because he was bad.”
“Oh, he is a bad man.”
“Yes, Mom.”

“Is he joshing him?”
“No.”
“He’s gon’ make him a partner and he’s a half-wit?”
“He’s a good guy!”
“–and a half-wit!”

“Does Coburn get killed?”
“No.”
“Oh. I’d be sorry to have that.”

“Is that a threat? Not a threat…a…what’d you call that?”

“What are they looking at?”
“Smoke.”
“What is the smoke for?”
…
“Oh, he’s burning the tree? Why?”

“See, I told you it was a good movie!”
“Mm.”
“And you didn’t even want to watch it!”
“It was five out of ten.”
“You are mistaken, it was nine out of ten.”
“…”
“…”

Movies With My Mother – The Gambler From Nachez

(Also my Auntie P)

“He’s in uniform, where’s his regiment?”
“He was disbanded….sent home.”
“Why can’t he put on civilian clothes? Or any clothes?”

“Is he the gambler?”
“No, he’s the gambler’s son.”

“He should have known that was coming. Shouldn’t grab someone and push him.”
“What, did he hit first?…he didn’t turn the other cheek.”

“He looks like Burt Lancaster right there.”
“That is not Burt Lancaster.”
“Yes, but he looks like Burt Lancaster.”
“Not really.”
“A little.”
“He don’t look like Burt Lancaster.”

“Unless what?”
“Unless she’s married to him.”
“And then she said, I’ll wait.”
“Tehee!”

[“K, that jacket’s real smart-looking, put it on. Let’s see it!”
“It’s not ironed yet.”]

“Ohhh, women rivalry now. The sophisticated and then the boat girl.”
“Who is this girl?”
“Madame Somebody Sophisticated.”

“Is her umbrella going up or down? ’cause I can’t tell.”

“I dunno who did her lipstick, it looks terrible.”

“That upside down umbrella ain’t gonna do her a lick of good.”

“Remember that, a lady does not allow the situation to get beyond her control. Good wisdom!”

“They going ‘oh,’ she going ‘ah,’ I dunno what they’re talking about.”

“What’s the name of this movie? The night of the who?”

“He’s gonna get infected, he’s crawling through the swamp with a knife wound!”

[“Never trust anything you buy in the Philippines! Look at this!”
“Are you still ironing that jacket?”
“I may have to send it to the cleaners.”]

“He’s not gonna be like Tarzan, take a reed and go underwater?”

“He didn’t even give him a chance. ‘Hello.’ Wham!”

“Good night, this man is more than heavy set. Good night. He’s huge.”

“Oh look at her green eye makeup….and she just dove into the water and got out. Got her makeup done already!”

“The other one scorning him because his father was a gambler, she’s in love with him because he’s a gambler….oh the irony.”

“Oh, she’s got false eyelashes…green eyeshadow…red lips…bare shoulders…her skirt got a split in the middle….all she needs is a shimmy.”

“Oh no they DO NOT have a naked person in a statue in the middle of town.”
“What?”
“They have a statue of a naked person in the middle of town. ’cause they French.”

[“Are you still ironing that jacket after thirty minutes?! K. Put it down. Put it down, now! You know if that had been your husband’s shirt it’d have been on the floor long ago. You’re obsessed with that shirt! How much did it cost, 3 dollars?’
“SIX!”]

“What’s he going to do, gamble them out of their money?”

[“I should say, I paid, ‘three thousand pesos’ for that thing.”
“Which is what, six dollars?”
“Which is a lot of money!”
“What is one million pesos, one hundred dollars?”]

” ‘My father was only a customer, you have no friends.’ What does that mean?”
“Means he would sell him out if he was paid, and he was paid, and he did sell him out.”

“Oh lord, don’t tell me they gon’ come kill this man!”

“They’re looking at her like she’s a skank.”

“Never known a woman who what?”
“Looked good in the morning.”

“Now, she is gonna be a fool if she doesn’t know her brother any better than that.”

(Gasp!) “They murdered him! And they’re gonna say he did it! Because he’s right down the hall.”
“How are they getting him in there?!”
“Through  the balcony. And then they’re gonna put the knife on him, so they can say he did it. It’s so easy to figure out.”

“Now, he gave the knife to the sister, knowing she was going to give the knife to him, and that they took the man and were probably going to kill him. He ought to know they’re going to set him up!”

“….that’s the one you said was going to fall off the building, Riders?”

“Hee, saying I don’ want no kissy kiss on my forehead.”

“Where did dueling come from, the French or the British?”

“What’d she say?”
“She said, I’m gonna marry you pretty soon, you just wait.”
“She staked her claim!”

“She’s what?”
“Pale and skinny.”
“Teehee. She pale and skinny. That’s a good one.”

“She bit her?!”

“That is foolish, you know. To gamble away a boat! Foolish!”

“Who let her out of the pen?”

“Course, when he wins, someone is going to stand up and try to shoot the other person. Bam. You can tell what’s going to happen.”

“So whoever wins gets both? The boat and the farm? Why would he do that!?”

“Now he’s gonna pull out the gun.”

“There he goes….oh, he got a sword.”

“He’s lost everything, now he’s going to lose his life.”
“He’s trying to go out in honor….which is dishonor in his case.”

“Now, the women are just watching….including us.”

“It sounds like pots in the kitchen. Bang bang bang!”

“Now give that woman back her farm! Her plantation! Because she doesn’t have nothing. He’s got to marry her off or something.”

“Put her mouth on him and he been kissing on that other woman?! I’d be slapping his face and handing him a bar of soap!”