The Rebel Princess – Episode 11 – Recap

Previously on: our heroine was rescued after having been kidnapped by a group wanting vengeance against her husband (who had destroyed their land and villages.) These guys were kind of losers, but they were also being backed up by unknown sources from the capital, which made rescuing her difficult until a “freak training accident” involving grenades to the face manages to get rid of the imperial representative. Also, it turns out that the heroine’s loyal maidservant Jin’er is actually in love with Prince #3 (A’Wu’s childhood romance) and has just been manipulated into putting on A’Wu’s clothes and perfumes and going over to pay the drunken Prince a comforting visit. Yeahhhhhhh….

So anyhow, Jin’er is dressed up like A’Wu and perfumed up (with A’Wu’s perfumes) and sent in to see Prince #3. Who has been drinking and staring at his pictures of A’Wu. Fade to black.

Back at the court, the Emperor is not paying much attention things, the Grand Vizier is standing around smirking a lot, and the Crown Prince is starting to be the one saying “approve” to courtly proposals when news rushes in that A’Wu is found and okay, and that XQ has survived well. Prince #2 and Lord Huan exchange alarmed glances. The Crown Prince is overjoyed, bless his little heart. But the Emperor, who has been just sitting slumped over, laughs and then breaks down in tears. News also comes to Aunty Empress. She’s honestly relieved about this also, as are Mom and Brother.

A’Wu, meanwhile, is learning about the travails of frontier life, such as only bathing once a month or having to hike ten miles to bathe in the rivers. Worse, this applies to her husband, too. Worse still, no one at the fort has any sense of style AT ALL. A’Wu, however, is missing Jin’er and hopes she’s okay.

(She is, but Prince #3 is having a bit of a brood anyway). Aaaaand that’s when news of A’Wu being found arrives.

A’Wu has also started asking questions about her husband. Apparently, he has no hobbies other than being busy, reading books, and practicing swordsmanship. (Boring). A’Wu also gets into a spat with one of the head maidservants, Xing’er, who makes the mistake of being too much of a stuck-up smartass and also annoying.

Jin’er, meanwhile, hears the other maids gossiping about her.

A’Wu, meanwhile, is about to have to deal with Xing’er’s older, fatter, bossier counterpart, Mrs. Lu. A’Wu orders that they go and kneel in the courtyard, regardless of their rank. I have a feeling that the court versus country discipline/manners thing is going to cause problems pretty soon.

Not to be suppressed, Mrs Lu heads over to XQ to complain about things….not that it actually does any good. XQ backs up his wife immediately and goes back to discussing politics. He and his men are monitoring the royal family’s activity.

Oh, the current crisis is: the Emperor’s brother, under pretext of a friendly visit, has shown up with 150,000 soldiers. Hah. All the ministers are milling around and flapping their sleeves a bunch, as they tend to do. Prince #2 is hanging around in the background, not at all suspiciously. The Crown Prince has sent for the Grand Vizier, but he and his smirk haven’t shown up yet at all. This guy, King J, was the runner-up for the throne back in the day and now is probably coming back for his revenge and just dues. Whats worse, he’s a skilled soldier and has veteran troops and then have none. None at all.

(Prince #2 sends a looooong, considering look at Lord Huan).

Possibly because their main general is kind of busy trying to get his wife to look him in the face. But the boy does got game, though, and has soon convinced her to go for a walk with him. (All the troops cheer, when they see her, lol, and XQ tells her just to roll with it.)

So. XQ hasn’t been around much because he’s been over at the border…sending Liupan Guy (okay, fine, Helan Zhen) back home. Miraculously, he survived one arm being cut off and falling into a bottomless chasm, although I’m going to guess not by turning himself into a mechanical spider-legged hybrid sustained by the Dark Side of the Force and hatred. HZ is the only remaining son (albeit illegitemate) of the king of Hulan and the heir. However, he also has a cousin-rival for that position, who was the one who actually destroyed Liupan in an attempt to displace HZ from the throne and lay the blame on XQ.

XQ let HZ go back to fight his cousin so they can squabble amongst themselves–which works out for his benefit and the safety of the realm. A’Wu is impressed by his planning skills. But then she points out that XQ is using her as a pawn in his plans as well, and that she doesn’t like it.

He tries to change the subject, but she calls him a coward for it. He replies that she does not want to hear the truth, but if she’s strong enough and willing, he will.

XQ says: There was a border emergency. On our wedding night. It was absolutely no coincidence. I did not want to marry you and I was also forced into it. Your father set this all up because he wants my army. I have absolutely no desire to be involved in capitol plots and didn’t want to get between you and your true love. The so-called border emergency was just me getting the hell out of Dodge because I’m scared of your psycho grand vizier father.

A’Wu is mostly impressed that he’s not actually in cahoots with her father. Unfortunately, this means she realizes that her father is behind most of what’s been happening. She breaks down and asks for some privacy, but then calls him back.

Hey, a hug! That’s definitely progress on both their parts!

Xiao Qi tells her that she is his princess now and his woman. She’s not allowed to be weak. The camera then wanders discreetly off, so I’m going to assume that this is our official fade-to-sex.

Back at the capital, Grand Vizier Lord Wang Dad is taking some night air when he sees his son coming in through the back gate….and orders him to go back home and pretend to be a happy couple with Huan Mi since her father’s at home. Also, if your concubine has a boy, he’s going out to a farm and by farm, I mean we’re going to expose him on a rock. We need the Huan Family’s support, OK? So I need a legitimate male grandchild.

Brother Su points out that: the Xie Family is no more, the Crown Prince is in a stable position, and the Empress is in power. Shouldn’t that be enough? (No.)

Prince #2, meanwhile, is cuddling up with his concubine….wait. Wait. Wait. Is his girlfriend also Brother Su’s wife, Huan Mi? HOOOOoooo BOY.

Back at the fort, the two snooty girls A’Wu press-ganged into being her junior handmaids, are begging for help from Mrs. Lu (the fort’s steward and also their aunty). A’Wu susses out that they actually hope to catch XQ’s eye and become concubines. A’Wu says: I don’t mean to punish them. Just throw them out of the house. NOW.

The Rebel Princess – Episode 11 – Recap

PREVIOUSLY ON:  A’Wu was kidnapped by flying ninjas who bear a grudge against her husband. He, meanwhile, is prevented from galloping directly to the rescue by rather suspiciously-timed orders which require his presence at a military parade. Instead of, y’know, guarding the border. He’s got a plan to get around that, but then again so do the ninjas, and theirs involves suicide bomb vests and decoys wearing A’Wu’s clothes.

Anyhow: back at camp, news comes that the imperial envoy is on his way. And thus, with much slow-mo and dramatic flapping of banners, beating of drums, and slinking about in black cloaks, it begins.

Xu Shou and his escort ride into the camp to watch the military parade, which, to this show’s budget’s credit, is pretty impressive for the first five original shots, but gets less so when they start repeating.

So naturally we cut away to something far less interesting: Prince #3 kneeling at the palace door, while the Emperor refuses to see him. Eh? Ah, it’s to keep suspicions from the Empress low. But she is merely nervous in general, given that the ostensibly-insane Emperor is now a lot less predictable. And she feels that there is some sort of third party involved in all this…

Meanwhile the parade progresses. XQ and Xu Shou ride down to observe it closer. Liupan Guy, A’Wu, and their cohort, observe from behind a rock. XQ’s guys suddenly accelerate, leaving XS and his bodyguards trapped inside a ring of shields. And then the grenades roll in. Well that was excessive. What happened to just stabbing people?

Liupan Guy and his men now sound the attack. This involves ninjas jumping out of water barrels, because of course it does. But at least XQ gets to actually draw his sword and do something.

But! Decoy XY and others are up on a tower and A’Wu is elsewhere.

XQ orders that his men clear the way.

The decoy guy with XY says: face me in single combat! (btw, XY do you like me y/n/maybe?)

And then a couple of archers try to shoot XQ when he rides forward but that doesn’t work. And then Swordsgirl arrives and kills Decoy Guy and Xiaoye falls off the tower and XQ grabs her…only for everyone to realize at that moment that she’s fake. He then throws her far enough away that the suicide vest going off doesn’t get him, or apparently anybody else.

Poor XQ is just standing there kind of in shock, but fortunately this is when Liupan Guy and A’Wu do make their appearance.

Liupan Guy says: face me in single combat!

XQ says: OK, sure.

And, when his men protest, he says: Trust me.

So he gallops off after them but hasn’t caught up by the time they reach the rickety looking rope bridge over the bottomless cavern that is the boundary between the barbarian steppes and China.

Liupan Guy says, hey, don’t worry, I’ll marry you!

A’Wu says: Even if he doesn’t kill you, I will.

And then the arrows start flying. Liupan Guy rushes A’Wu towards the bridge, but then….

Hah, XQ is on the other side of it. And it’s a three-on-one fight (at least before the other soldiers start showing up, so, seems like his sidekicks are sensible enough to ignore orders when they need to). XQ takes care of that side of the bridge, but Liupan Guy still has A’Wu–and A’Wu still has the suicide belt. She screams for him not to come over (and LG threatens to throw her over the edge).

XQ says: We can all die together then.

Liupan Guy says: FINE.

So he throws himself and A’Wu off the bridge, but XQ cuts his hand off and catches her. Very romantic. Finally.

Back in the capital, Wan’ru has heard that #3 is back. And….she’s upset that he hasn’t taken revenge for his mother and is still obsessed with the enemy’s daughter. Who used to be her best friend, let us not forget. Jin’er is also there.

Grand Vizier Dad comes over to let Aunty Empress know that no, there has been no news of A’Wu and that it would take several days for any to get there, anyway.

Wan’ru is putting on the crocodile tears for Jin’er, but it’s just an opening gambit. She wants to know what Jin’er’s feelings are towards the Grand Vizier Dad. Jin’er answers that her interest is Prince #3, actually, and she’s been helping A’Wu all these years just so, if they get together, she can be close to them both. Wan’ru looks honestly affected at this, but she also sees an opportunity.

A’Wu, meanwhile, is busy having nightmares but wakes up to hear XQ asking the doctors when she’s going to wake up (it’s been two days). His sidekicks try to reassure him, but he’s not really happy with himself for letting this all happen in the first place.

Knowing that A’Wu is listening, however, he goes into apologize to her and assure her that he can send her back home if she wants to go and not stay.

A’Wu doesn’t really want to accept his help or his presence, but she’s too weak to drink her medicine herself. So XQ, very romantically, spoon-feeds her and then tucks her back in when she falls asleep again.

Wan’ru, meanwhile, is still being showered with presence by the Crown Prince. It’s not enough to assuage her anger, and her plans for Jin’er don’t bode well for A’Wu.

Back at the barracks, XQ is sidling up to change A’Wu’s bandages. Vvvvvvery romantic. She’s not having any part of it, though. He promises to send her home whenever she wants….as long as she’s fine. But even this is coming on kind of strong, because she’s looking kind of terrified. Poor guy only wants his wife to like the things he does and the places he does. His wife, meanwhile, is wondering exactly what is going on here with her pounding heart, strange new feelings, etc.

So we cut back to Wan’ru dressing Jin’er up in nice clothes. And the next episode is “Zi Tan (#3) mistakenly identified Su Jin’er as Wang Xuan”), so….

One more episode. Just one. Just one, I promise!

The Rebel Princses – Episode 10 – Recap

Previously on: our heroine was kidnapped by flying ninjas who have a grudge against her husband, and is in eventual danger when their plot comes into fruition but a lot more immediate danger from the crazily jealous ninja girl. Her husband has been prevented, by nefarious plots, from going directly to the rescue. Her faithful maidservant (who is actually in love with the guy who our heroine is in love with) went to go fetch said guy so he could go help look, despite the fact that he’s supposed to be under house arrest. Remarkably, everyone else is even less useful.

So Prince #3 and Jin’er have been searching, somehow accompanied by soldiers. They aren’t finding anything but keep at it. News of this reaches the Lord Xie in his exile. He wants to see the boy….to chew him out for being concerned for a woman who is a) the daughter of their enemy, the Wangs, b) married to someone else. Lord Xie is unimpressed with the idea that #3 is trying to redeem himself for abandoning A’Wu before: it’s not possible to make a comeback for something like that, and anyway, we have a blood feud going. #3 says, sure, you’re right, but I do want her to be safe. Lord Xie fumes a bit.

A’Wu and her captors have stopped for the night.

Meanwhile elsewhere, Grand Vizier Dad has arrived somewhere and finds some guy (? the governor of the city?) begging for mercy for allowing the princess to have been kidnapped on his watch.

Dad says: listen up. I don’t have anything against you, but I’ll have your entire family buried alive if she is harmed. The guy then begs his way in to see the Eldest Princess (I think he means A’Wu’s mother, but who he gets is A’Wu’s sister in law, her useless brother’s ignored wife). She sends for A’Wu’s mother….who everyone has been carefully keeping the news away from. (We’re going to learn later why Wifey doesn’t like this family and it’s a doozy. I mean, other than the obvious reasons why.)

Mom is, of course, shattered to hear that something has happened to A’Wu.

At the inn, Xiaoye and A’Wu are at it again. Xiaoye makes A’Wu eat bread that has fallen on the floor, but A’Wu does get her hands untied in the bargain….until one of the guys brings in some nice stew the Young Master ordered for A’Wu specially. HAH, lol, A’Wu locks XY outside when she goes out to throw the soup away. Then she….sets the door on fire?

Liupan Guy says: don’t panic, just make sure the horses are all tied down.

Back at home, Grand Vizier Dad arrives. Mom is still passed out. He is able to tell the brother that he’s sent word to Xiao Qi and this should allow him to take action himself. Brother doubts that XQ (who ran off on the wedding night) actually cares, but Dad points out that he is allied with the Wang Family now, not to mention a danger to the Emperor. If he doesn’t toe the line, he’ll get his one way or the other.

Brother then finds the time to complain about his wife. (Really, can’t blame her too much: her husband has been ignoring her in favor of knocking up concubines, and yet she takes the blame for not producing grandchildren.)

Elsewhere, Prince #2 is assuring his faceless and nameless girlfriend that she’ll be there with him when he becomes king. Trust him. (I wouldn’t, but…)

Prince #3 and Jin’er are heading back to the capital now. They’re not giving up on A’Wu, but there is still the Lord Xie, looking suspicious.

Back at the caravan, A’Wu gets caught, again. But! XQ’s Swordsgirl Sidekick is there! It’s a rescue! Not a very good one, because we spend about three minutes just in one section of the corridor-set, dodging behind walls and they’re all the same wall! A’Wu takes command. They obviously can’t escape together, or right now. She knows that there is some sort of thing happening, using her as bait, in three days, and that XQ is the target. She’s safe enough–for the next three days–and so decoys off the pursuit, sending them with the message: Tell XQ three days–I’ll be waiting.

Swordsgirl stays to defend the princess secretly and the other guy goes out to carry word.

Meanwhile, the poor governor guy has arrived home and now that he upset Mama Wang, he’s really worried about his continued existence, lol. He and his wife and family are going to make a run for it.

Back at the caravan, Xiaoye is about to get raked over the coals, and not just the ones that are still smoldering because she let the prisoner burn down the inn. So, this girl has kind of an interesting character, or would if she was given a bit more time. She’s in love with Liupan Guy and totally jealous; but she’s also at least nominally focused on their revenge plot and doesn’t want that endangered, either. Also, I think at least one of those guys is in love with her.

OH MY GOSH HE ORDERS THAT ONE OF HER ARMS GET CUT OFF. This prompts A’Wu to speak up in her defense and Liupan Guy to decree that she’s goign to stay in his rooms for the night. For safety.

Back at the governor’s house, a woman comes to the door. She says: if you want to live, follow me. So he goes off for a meeting with Lord Huan.

OKAY. So I think I’m getting the hang of this. Grand Vizier Wang’s son (Su) is married to a Huan daughter. I think that Prince #2 is also a Huan, or at least is in league with the Lord Huan. So, here we go.

Speaking of which, #2 shows up.

Liupan Guy is at the “if we met in a different lifetime, do you think we’d still be enemies” stage of their relationship. It seems that he is the child of a Liupan princess who was raped by a Hulan prince, but was later accepted into the Hulan royal family since they were getting underpopulated….Ahhhhh, was this one of the guys that XQ killed back in episode 1? Heh. Liupan Guy tried to go back and get his mother and sister out of the warzone, but it was too late. He now has a few loyal followers from the Liupan survivors, but that’s it.

He’s dead set on revenge. Except that the thought of killing A’Wu makes him a little unhappy. Oh this strange thing called sex love….

Back at the palace, the Emperor is getting a secret message from Lord Xie about the plan to kill Xiao Qi. Someone named Xu Shou is going to take over the army when he dies. Prince #3 is on his way home.

Meanwhile, Xiaoye, much subdued, shows up with clean clothes and washwater for A’Wu. She pays her debts, and she owes her existence to Liupan Guy and also is in love with him. It’s okay. She can deal with it. If he needs her to die, she will die for him and for their revenge!

A’Wu says: even though we’re not friends….woman to woman, it’s not a good idea to be infatuated with someone to this degree. Okay? Think it over, kiddo.

Cut to, uh oh. Xiaoye is dressed in A’Wu’s clothes. The other guys salute her for her courage, and the one guy who’d always been hitting on her before shows up, too, and promises to stay with her.

A’Wu then spots the imperial envoy’s emblem on Liupan Guy’s robes and blanches a little. But worse is to come. Oh shit, they’re going to put a suicide vest on her….

….LIKE THE ONE POOR XIAOYE HAS ON.

Liupan Guy advises her to pray that they kill Xiao Qi easily, since that means she’ll be in less danger…and then he can take her back to the steppes with him.

Meanwhile, back at the army camp, Xiao Qi and his men are standing around in their armor, fretting over whether Swordsgirl is going to be able to do the bodyguarding all by herself. And, it does look like the decoy trick is going to work on her….

END EPISODE. So, given that this is episode 10, I’m starting to be a little impatient with the device used for Xiao Qi’s characterization, which is to have him standing quietly in the background while his sidekicks bicker amongst themselves. It’s a good setup, it’s a good trick, but he has got to do something every so often and do it well. Considering that episode 11 is apparently titled “Xiao Qi heroically rescues Wang Xuan,” we’ll see….

The Rebel Princess – Episode 8 – Recap

So A’Wu is getting her hair done for the wedding, to the accompaniment of sad flute music. She goes off for the departing-from-home ceremony, and it appears that her mother did survive the previous episode, so that’s good. Well, after all, I guess even a Grand Vizier isn’t going to straight-up murder his wife just for helping his daughter attempt to elope.

Grand Vizier Dad is embarking on some last patriarchal admonitions when A’Wu (rather rudely, but very satisfyingly) ignores him to bow farewell to her mother instead and then walks out. Dad is nonplussed but that’s what you get when you marry your daughter off against her will.

The wedding procession proceeds….XQ is wearing armor under his clothes. I hope this means there are going to be ninjas.

In the ceremonial hall, however, A’Wu is being slightly less than cooperative and doesn’t take her cues properly and also refuses to make eye contact with her new husband. (Minister Wen is in the audience and for some reason seems satisfied with this?)

XQ is recieving the post-nuptial congratulations (AKA: drinks) when an urgent message rushes in! They’re needed at the front!

Lol, cut to A’Wu’s faithful maidservant suggesting that she take her fancy wedding hat off and take a nap, it’s been a while. But this isn’t allowed, only the husband is allowed to do it. Fortunately, the news comes in at this point. A’Wu is about to storm out of the bridal chamber before the women stop her.

XQ, still in his fancy wedding clothes, takes off.

Sidekick goes to report to her that, sorry, ma’am, it was an emergency. But the boss told me to say goodbye for him.
HAH, A’Wu says: I did not think your hero general was a coward who runs away at critical moments.
Sidekick says: Ma’am, there is, uh, context.
A’Wu says: DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME ABOUT CONTEXT OKAY, MY LIFE HAS BEEN CONTEXT.

Well, she’s dropping truth bombs on the wrong guy. Sidekick’s a nice person and he also didn’t have anything to do with what’s been happening to you. Poor guy doesn’t deserve to be made to grovel to his boss’s wife.

A’Wu orders Sidekick to go take her hairpin to XQ and tell him that she is NOT TO BE PUT ASIDE LIKE THIS.

Not that XQ is particularly happy about it, but he is a dutiful and loyal general who gallops off gamely (the actor is clinging to his saddlefront, but still.)

A’Wu dramatically rips off her fancy wedding hat.

Cut to: three months later. XQ is still at the front. He has been sending letters and gifts, to no avail. He says: keep sending them.

Prince #3, meanwhile, is hanging out somewhere waiting for…letters from the front?

A’Wu is taking it easy, meanwhile, and by taking it easy we mean getting drunk a lot. Her maidservant is trying to convince her to at least look at the letters XQ is sending, but no dice. However, she’s at least also ignoring the letters that #3 is sending, so…

But she does agree to go in to town for the lantern festival. They were invited by some lady, and the whole atmosphere is rather PTA-ish and twee, something which is slightly modified by the fact that Some Bearded Guy turns around and gives the camera a fishy look. He’s got accomplices! They’re moving in!

OH MY WORD LOL SHE JUST GOT KIDNAPPED BY A FLYING NINJA WHAT THE HELL HAAAAA

Not for this stylish mode to be outdone, they then smuggle her out of town in a coffin that they claim is infected with smallpox, a necessary step given that the city is sealed and people are busy searching for the missing, kidnapped princess. The soldiers are smart enough to try to open the coffin at least, but there is at least one dead body in there on the top layer. So the escape is made.

Back at the imperial palace, Wan’Ru has reached the point of (attempting) to prevent the Empress from doing things. The Empress has some sharp words to say about this, naturally.

The Emperor is technically awake, it seems, and Wan’ru has been taking care of him, an office which the Empress attempts to do. He rejects her, though, and she sweeps out. None of this has passed the notice of the eunuch on guard at the door.

Speaking of people we haven’t seen in a while, the Crown Prince shows up to comfort Wan’ru. She says that she was just trying to help and do her best! Prince #1 thanks her for it, and, uh oh I do not like her smirk. OH FUCK SHE REALLY IS PLOTTING VENGEANCE, she just offered to bear him a son. Poor guy. He kinda-sorta escapes his mother’s clutches and ends up in her hands.

News of the kidnapping has reached various ears at this point.

A’Wu’s brother wants to go and rescue her, but his father forbids it: it’s going to kill their mother if he leaves, too. Dad has already sent his own people to go get her. She’ll be fine. Go take care of your mother. (doorslam)

A’Wu’s maidservant is, meanwhile, hastening….somewhere. Ah, she’s gone to get #3.

Meanwhile, XQ’s assorted sidekicks are incensed over the fact that they (XQ) have been ordered (imperially so, so: no getting out of it) to attend a military parade and NOT go rescue his wife. What’s worse, the orders came after the day A’Wu must have been kidnapped. One of the slightly smarter sidekicks suggests that he order them to go rescue her.

XQ, however, has been quietly thinking it over. This obviously wasn’t the work of the barbarians, who have just had a defeat and need to regroup. It’s someone who is holding the princess hostage for leverage–either over the Grand Vizier….or me.