Movie ReReview: The Golden Hawk

mv5bzjrhztfhmjetnjfkms00yzq1ltg0zjgtognjywq2mgi0nzqzxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvymtk4mdgwna4040._v1_The Golden Hawk (1952) – Ok, this is more like it. Oh yeah, a lot more like it. Now THIS is what a pirate movie should be.

(It occurs to me that the only reason Pirates of the Caribbean was as good as it was, was where and when it copied off of older, better, more colorful movies.)

Yeah, there’s a lot of kissy-facing that would be much more convincing if it starred Errol Flynn instead of Sterling Hayden, but there’s also plenty of swashing buckles, proffering pistols, capeswishing, rapier swishing, rum, yo-ho-ho-ing, and stuff blowing up. Actually, on second thought: Hayden is well-cast. The role calls for someone handsome and charming, just not quiiiiiite as handsome or as charming as thinks he is. Hayden delivers.

So! Hayden is Kit Gerardo, French privateer and captain of the Sea Flower. Yeah, it’s a sissy name for a ship. Just roll with it. There’s Rhonda Fleming as the beautiful and red-headed lady captain, Captain Rouge. Her ship is the Witch, which is slightly more badass but also rather underused. Ah well, budgets must have been tight, that’s understandable. There’s another lovely and also headstrong damsel, Helena Carter as Senorita Bianca–the destined bride of Kit’s hated enemy, Captain Del Toro (John Sutton), who is also Governor of Cartagena.

Why hated? Because Del Toro killed Kit’s mother. Dun DUN DUNNNN!

So things happen, rapiers are flourished, headscarves and frilly shirts are worn, cannons are fired, ships are boarded, escapes are made, ransoms are demanded, nubile native dances are danced, you-saved-my-life-debts are repaid, and with one thing and another, Kit ends up in command of the French fleet attacking Cartagena. The attack is preceded by a series of quick stops off at Jamaica to destroy the English supply lines there and prevent the English from aiding the Spaniards. (Huh?…oh well, never mind, we’s on a roll.)

But in the midst of this pillaging, Kit discovers that the plantation he has just torched belongs to none other than Rouge (Jane) herself! She swears revenge! DUN DUN DUNNNN!

Anyhow, Kit’s master plan for taking Cartagena involves e) getting to the powder magazine and f) blowing it up. What about part a-d)? Well, those are: a) getting to Madame Bianca Del Toro, b) seducing her, c) getting the plans of the fortress via, d) promising marriage. Bianca, not being a complete idiot, immediately turns him over to her outraged and jealous husband. Who…sticks him in the dungeon to await a fair trial, instead of, as she demands, hanging him immediately.

Why? Well, because Kit is actually Del Toro’s son! (DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN). Oh, this movie is just awesome.

Will Rouge get revenge? Will Del Toro be forced to kill our hero? Will Kit fulfil his mission and be handsomely rewarded by the French government? The answers are to be found within about ten minutes, so there’s really no point in pondering them all too deeply. Just know that it all gets wrapped up and tied with a flourish and a tip of the hat to the ladies, too.

Do I have to discuss how this movie has strong female characters? It has some really interesting strong–and extremely feminine–female characters. They fall in love–they fight back–they defend their honor and maintain their dignity with words if they can and pistols if they must, suss out motivations and psych out the opposition. No, they don’t engage in any sword fighting themselves (if it had been Maureen O’Hara, on the other hand….)–but they hardly need to. These women are dangerous enough without having to raise their hand in anger. And that’s about all that needs to be said. Oh, they also look really, really pretty in Technicolor.

My favorite part: womanizing Kit has a bit where, if a lady is dubious, he offers her a pistol and promises to let her shoot him if he makes a single improper advance. We see him do this to two wenches early on in the film–and then he tries it on Jane. Several minutes later (as Kit’s men are scraping him off the deck): “I knew he’d pull that pistol trick once too often!” Snerk.

Rated: DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNN DUNNNNNNNNN

Movies With My Mother – The Gambler From Nachez

s-l1000(Also my Auntie P)

“He’s in uniform, where’s his regiment?”
“He was disbanded….sent home.”
“Why can’t he put on civilian clothes? Or any clothes?”

“Is he the gambler?”
“No, he’s the gambler’s son.”

“He should have known that was coming. Shouldn’t grab someone and push him.”
“What, did he hit first?…he didn’t turn the other cheek.”

dale_robertson“He looks like Burt Lancaster right there.”
“That is not Burt Lancaster.”
“Yes, but he looks like Burt Lancaster.”
“Not really.”
“A little.”
“He don’t look like Burt Lancaster.”

“Unless what?”
“Unless she’s married to him.”
“And then she said, I’ll wait.”
“Tehee!”

[“K, that jacket’s real smart-looking, put it on. Let’s see it!”
“It’s not ironed yet.”]

“Ohhh, women rivalry now. The sophisticated and then the boat girl.”
“Who is this girl?”
“Madame Somebody Sophisticated.”

“Is her umbrella going up or down? ’cause I can’t tell.”

“I dunno who did her lipstick, it looks terrible.”

“That upside down umbrella ain’t gonna do her a lick of good.”

“Remember that, a lady does not allow the situation to get beyond her control. Good wisdom!”

“They going ‘oh,’ she going ‘ah,’ I dunno what they’re talking about.”

“What’s the name of this movie? The night of the who?”

“He’s gonna get infected, he’s crawling through the swamp with a knife wound!”

[“Never trust anything you buy in the Philippines! Look at this!”
“Are you still ironing that jacket?”
“I may have to send it to the cleaners.”]

“He’s not gonna be like Tarzan, take a reed and go underwater?”

“He didn’t even give him a chance. ‘Hello.’ Wham!

“Good night, this man is more than heavy set. Good night. He’s huge.”

“Oh look at her green eye makeup….and she just dove into the water and got out. Got her makeup done already!”

“The other one scorning him because his father was a gambler, she’s in love with him because he’s a gambler….oh the irony.”

“Oh, she’s got false eyelashes…green eyeshadow…red lips…bare shoulders…her skirt got a split in the middle….all she needs is a shimmy.”

“Oh no they DO NOT have a naked person in a statue in the middle of town.”
“What?”
“They have a statue of a naked person in the middle of town. ’cause they French.”

[“Are you still ironing that jacket after thirty minutes?! K. Put it down. Put it down, now! You know if that had been your husband’s shirt it’d have been on the floor long ago. You’re obsessed with that shirt! How much did it cost, 3 dollars?’
“SIX!”]

“What’s he going to do, gamble them out of their money?”

[“I should say, I paid, ‘three thousand pesos’ for that thing.”
“Which is what, six dollars?”
“Which is a lot of money!”
“What is one million pesos, one hundred dollars?”]

‘My father was only a customer, you have no friends.’ What does that mean?”
“Means he would sell him out if he was paid, and he was paid, and he did sell him out.”

“Oh lord, don’t tell me they gon’ come kill this man!”

“They’re looking at her like she’s a skank.”

“Never known a woman who what?”
“Looked good in the morning.”

“Now, she is gonna be a fool if she doesn’t know her brother any better than that.”

(Gasp!) “They murdered him! And they’re gonna say he did it! Because he’s right down the hall.”
“How are they getting him in there?!”
“Through  the balcony. And then they’re gonna put the knife on him, so they can say he did it. It’s so easy to figure out.”

“Now, he gave the knife to the sister, knowing she was going to give the knife to him, and that they took the man and were probably going to kill him. He ought to know they’re going to set him up!”

“….that’s the one you said was going to fall off the building, Riders?”

“Hee, saying I don’ want no kissy kiss on my forehead.”

“Where did dueling come from, the French or the British?”

“What’d she say?”
“She said, I’m gonna marry you pretty soon, you just wait.”
“She staked her claim!”

“She’s what?”
“Pale and skinny.”
“Teehee. She pale and skinny. That’s a good one.”

“She bit her?!”

“That is foolish, you know. To gamble away a boat! Foolish!”

“Who let her out of the pen?”

“Course, when he wins, someone is going to stand up and try to shoot the other person. Bam. You can tell what’s going to happen.”

“So whoever wins gets both? The boat and the farm? Why would he do that!?”

“Now he’s gonna pull out the gun.”

“There he goes….oh, he got a sword.”

“He’s lost everything, now he’s going to lose his life.”
“He’s trying to go out in honor….which is dishonor in his case.”

“Now, the women are just watching….including us.”

“It sounds like pots in the kitchen. Bang bang bang!”

“Now give that woman back her farm! Her plantation! Because she doesn’t have nothing. He’s got to marry her off or something.”

“Put her mouth on him and he been kissing on that other woman?! I’d be slapping his face and handing him a bar of soap!”

The Golden Hawk – 1952 – Repost

mv5bzjrhztfhmjetnjfkms00yzq1ltg0zjgtognjywq2mgi0nzqzxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvymtk4mdgwna4040._v1_ Now THIS is what a pirate movie should be. Yeah, there’s a lot of kissy-facing that would be much more convincing if it starred Errol Flynn instead of Sterling Hayden, but there’s also plenty of swashing buckles, proffering pistols, capeswishing, rapier swishing, rum, yo-ho-ho-ing, and stuff blowing up to compensate. Actually, on second thought: Hayden is well-cast. The role calls for someone handsome and charming….but not quite as handsome or as charming as thinks he is.

Hayden delivers.

So Hayden is Kit Gerardo, French privateer and captain of the Sea Flower. Yeah, it’s a sissy name. Just roll with it. Then there’s Rhonda Fleming as the beautiful and red-headed lady captain, Captain Rouge. Her ship is the Witch, which is slightly more badass but also rather underused. Ah well, budgets must have been tight, that’s understandable. There’s another lovely and also headstrong damsel, Helena Carter as Senorita Bianca–the destined bride of Kit’s hated enemy, Captain Del Toro (John Sutton), who is also Governor of Cartagena. Why hated? Because Del Toro killed Kit’s mother.

Dun DUN DUNNNN!

So things happen, rapiers are flourished, headscarves and frilly shirts are worn, cannons are fired, ships are boarded, escapes are made, ransoms are demanded, nubile native dances are danced, you-saved-my-life-debts are repaid, and with one thing and another, Kit ends up in command of the French fleet attacking Cartagena. The attack is preceded by a series of quick stops off at Jamaica to destroy the English supply lines there and prevent the English from aiding the Spaniards. (Huh? Captain Blood and The Sea Hawk taught me that the English were enemies of the Spanish in the Caribbean….oh well, never mind, we’s on a roll.) But in the midst of this pillaging, Kit discovers that the plantation he has just torched belongs to none other than Rouge (Jane) herself! She swears revenge!

DUN DUN DUNNNN!

Anyhow, Kit’s master plan for taking Cartagena involves e) getting to the powder magazine and f) blowing it up. What about part a-d)? Well, those are: a) getting to Madame Bianca Del Toro, b) seducing her, c) getting the plans of the fortress via, d) promising marriage. Bianca, not being a complete idiot, immediately turns him over to her outraged and jealous husband. Who…sticks him in the dungeon to await a fair trial, instead of, as she demands, hanging him immediately. Why? Well, because Kit is actually Del Toro’s son!

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN. Oh, this movie is just awesome.

Will Rouge get revenge? Will Del Toro be forced to kill our hero? Will Kit fulfill his mission and be handsomely rewarded by the French government? The answers are to be found within about ten minutes, so there’s really no point in pondering them all too deeply. Just know that it all gets wrapped up and tied with a flourish and a tip of the hat to the ladies, too.

Do I have to discuss how this movie has strong female characters? It has some really interesting strong–and extremely feminine–female characters. They fall in love–they fight back–they defend their honor and maintain their dignity with words if they can and pistols if they must, suss out motivations and psych out the opposition. No, they don’t engage in any sword fighting themselves (if it had been Maureen O’Hara, on the other hand….)–but they hardly need to. These women are dangerous enough on their own. And that’s about all that needs to be said. Oh, they also look really, really pretty in Technicolor.

My favorite part: womanizing Kit has a bit where, if a lady is dubious, he offers her a pistol and promises to let her shoot him if he makes a single improper advance. We see him do this to two wenches early on in the film–and then he tries it on Jane. Several minutes later (as Kit’s men are scraping him off the deck): “I knew he’d pull that pistol trick once too often!” Snerk.

Rated: Five pistols out of five.

QuikReview – The Golden Hawk – 1952

mv5bzjrhztfhmjetnjfkms00yzq1ltg0zjgtognjywq2mgi0nzqzxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvymtk4mdgwna4040._v1_The Golden Hawk – Ok, this is more like it. Oh yeah, a lot more like it. Now THIS is what a pirate movie should be. (It occurs to me that the only reason Pirates of the Caribbean was as good as it was, was where and when it copied off of older, better, more colorful movies.) Yeah, there’s a lot of kissy-facing that would be much more convincing if it starred Errol Flynn instead of Sterling Hayden, but there’s also plenty of swashing buckles, proffering pistols, capeswishing, rapier swishing, rum, yo-ho-ho-ing, and stuff blowing up to compensate. Actually, on second thought: Hayden is well-cast. The role calls for someone handsome and charming, not quite as handsome or as charming as thinks he is. Hayden delivers.

Hayden is Kit Gerardo, French privateer and captain of the Sea Flower. Yeah, it’s a sissy name for a ship. Just roll with it. There’s Rhoda Fleming as the beautiful and red-headed lady captain, Captain Rouge. Her ship is the Witch, which is slightly more badass but also rather underused. Ah well, budgets must have been tight, that’s understandable. There’s another lovely and also headstrong damsel, Helena Carter as Senorita Bianca–the destined bride of Kit’s hated enemy, Captain Del Toro (John Sutton), who is also Governor of Cartagena. Why hated? Because Del Toro killed Kit’s mother. Dun DUN DUNNNN!

So things happen, rapiers are flourished, headscarves and frilly shirts are worn, cannons are fired, ships are boarded, escapes are made, ransoms are demanded, nubile native dances are danced, you-saved-my-life-debts are repaid, and with one thing and another, Kit ends up in command of the French fleet attacking Cartagena. The attack is preceded by a series of quick stops off at Jamaica to destroy the English supply lines there and prevent the English from aiding the Spaniards. (Huh? Captain Blood and The Sea Hawk taught me that the English were enemies of the Spanish in the Caribbean….oh well, never mind, we’s on a roll.) But in the midst of this pillaging, Kit discovers that the plantation he has just torched belongs to none other than Rouge (Jane) herself! She swears revenge! DUN DUN DUNNNN!

Anyhow, Kit’s master plan for taking Cartagena involves e) getting to the powder magazine and f) blowing it up. What about part a-d)? Well, those are: a) getting to Madame Bianca Del Toro, b) seducing her, c) getting the plans of the fortress via, d) promising marriage. Bianca, not being a complete idiot, immediately turns him over to her outraged and jealous husband. Who…sticks him in the dungeon to await a fair trial, instead of, as she demands, hanging him immediately. Why? Well, because Kit is actually Del Toro’s son! (DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN). Oh, this movie is just awesome.

Will Rouge get revenge? Will Del Toro be forced to kill our hero? Will Kit fulfil his mission and be handsomely rewarded by the French government? The answers are to be found within about ten minutes, so there’s really no point in pondering them all too deeply. Just know that it all gets wrapped up and tied with a flourish and a tip of the hat to the ladies, too.

Do I have to discuss how this movie has strong female characters? It has some really interesting strong–and extremely feminine–female characters. They fall in love–they fight back–they defend their honor and maintain their dignity with words if they can and pistols if they must, suss out motivations and psych out the opposition. No, they don’t engage in any sword fighting themselves (if it had been Maureen O’Hara, on the other hand….)–but they hardly need to. These women are dangerous enough on their own. And that’s about all that needs to be said. Oh, they also look really, really pretty in Technicolor.

My favorite part: womanizing Kit has a bit where, if a lady is dubious, he offers her a pistol and promises to let her shoot him if he makes a single improper advance. We see him do this to two wenches early on in the film–and then he tries it on Jane. Several minutes later (as Kit’s men are scraping him off the deck): “I knew he’d pull that pistol trick once too often!” Snerk.

Rated: Five pistols out of five.