Show me what you love

(Alucard is watching Adventure Time in his room)
(TV suddenly explodes as Luke enters.)

Alucard: That was a 70-inch… plasma screen TV. (smacks his lips and inhales deeply) So… how can I help you?
Luke: You must be the great Alucard…
Alucard: ‘Suup.
Luke: I’ve heard quite a lot about you.
Alucard: Oh, really?
Luke: The nightwalker…who glides through oceans of blood… beyond human, a monster whose power radiates with a darkness that casts a shadow on darkness itself—
Alucard: Oh, you dirty bitch! Work the shaft!
Luke: …Excuse you?
Alucard: Oh, I’m sorry, I like the dirty talk when someone’s sucking my dick.
Luke: Perhaps I should just skip to my point. My name is Luke Valentine.
Alucard: And I’m Carmen Sandiego. Guess where I am.
Luke: I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you here.
Alucard: Oh, so am I, and I’m failing, and I’m sorry for that. It’s just that I’m so agitated, because this blond little shit just strolled into my room, destroyed my 70-inch plasma TV, and is trying to impress me like I’m his alcoholic father.
(Both draw and point their guns at each other’s heads from point-blank range)
Alucard: Be a sport and grab Daddy another beer, would you?

I’m also highly partial to:
Alucard: Get that bitch a cannon! Bitches love cannons!
And,
Alucard: BITCH I EAT PEOPLE!
And, 
TV Announcer: The terrorist duo inside is comprised of a young British woman and some Ozzy Osbourne-looking motherfucker
seras_with_dead_bernadotteBut the thing that, at the end of the day, makes this show actually kind of worth it (I mean…arguably….) is the fact that, aside from being completely consistent with the characters’….somewhat exaggerated….personalities for shits and giggles throughout, it still knows when to sober up and take matters seriously. So when our big-tittied police girl has lost her arm, her eyes, her love interest, her duty post, and almost her sanity–not to mention that Nazi vampires have overrun London, and the Catholic Church, Mexican Inquisition, and the Salvation Army decided to “kill them all and let God sort them out”–we get a scene that is very genuine, emotional, and meaningful. 
Alucard: Listen to me, Draculina! You are so much stronger than you let yourself be!
Seras: (sobbing) ‘Ow do you know?!
Alucard: Because behind those eyes, I saw something I lost long ago: the will to live. Now, stop running from who you are. Confront it! Embrace it! And go for its fucking throat. Like a REAL FUCKING VAMPIRE!
Honestly, I hate secret government organizations that hunt supernatural threats, I hate vampires, and I hate sexy vampires….but thing is, so does everyone in this show, including the secret government organization and the sexy vampires. Put that together with oodles of stylized violence, fancy costumes, drama, melodrama, angst, blacked-out silhouettes with glowing/reflective eyes, guns, violence, more violence, no seriously the amount of anime gorn is what kept me from watching either the original or the abridged series for the longest time–you can’t get better than this. And I mean either the original, which plays things absolutely seriously, or…y’know, this version, which doesn’t.
 
Rated:
Anderson: Time the fuck out! If we’re doing this — and WE ARE DOING THIS — I’m not gonna come swinging at DRACULA! I’M KILLING ALUCARD!
Dracula: You do know that it’s just my name spelled–
alexander_anderson2c_monster_of_god

WandaVision S01E07 – Breaking the Fourth Wall

Well, here we go. It’s 7:30 a.m., I’ve got a big mug of heated chocolate flavored beverage, and I kind of wander how salty I’m going to get. Is this episode 7 of 8 or 7 of 9?

The Previously On recaps the previous episode, and then we open up to Wanda in bed (alone), intercut with a reality-show confessional style talking-straight-to-the-camera segments, and straight-up flashbacks. Tommy and Billy helpfully dart in to provide extra drama, uh, we mean exposition. Their game controllers keep changing types, and then vanished completely.

WandaVille reality is glitching in a serious way at this point, and no amount of hiding under the blankets is going to help that. Additionally, the red twin reports that it’s really noisy inside his head. Wanda ignores this in favor of a “quarantine-style staycation” day. Heh. But then her almond milk keeps glitching into different types and bottles. Wanda ignores this, too.

Back outside in the S.W.O.R.D. “temporary retreat,” (eight miles further out) we get our daily dose of jackbooted types doing important jackbooted things, like setting up tents and bustling around in black minivans. Director Hayward and his slightly-brown female minion make it known to the audience that they’re going to “launch today.” Oh noes! Anyway.

Vision, meanwhile, has woken up over by the ex-S.W.O.R.D. base now turned circus…and is promptly told a) good job for being in makeup alread, b) he’s late for practice with the escape artist….Darcy. Pwah.

Back at home, questions are being asked. Such as: where’s Dad?…why did Uncle P say he’d been dead? (Where is Uncle P?) Also, if he’s not our uncle, who is he, Mom? Wanda has a miniature breakdown at this point, admitting that she has no answers and is beginning to leave that everything is meaningless. It’s Agnes and Mephisto, isn’t it.

AND THEN AGNES COMES BREEZING IN. Riiiiiiiiiight. She drags the twins off to allow Wanda some alone time, despite their reluctance. Red twin, who seems to be the only one allowed a personality, wants to stay and take care of his mother, but he gets hustled out the door. The house glitches some more, but Wanda un-glitches it and then keeps repeating to her invisible psychologist-slash-the-audience that she’s fine. Fine. Fine.

Back with our most diverse and least likeable leads, it turns out that, SURPRISE SUPRISE WAIT FOR IT OH NO HOW COULD HE WHAT A SHOCK, Hayward was trying to reanimate Vision from the get-go. (In contravention to Vision’s own legal living will, BTW.) Of course, it wasn’t working until Wanda actually made her deal with the devil or whatever else she was doing.

The actual tragedy of this situation is that my hot chocolate has all gone away.

People. “Weapons” aren’t this really terrible, mystical thing that needs a high-level government lab and white-coated scientists to manufacture. A weapon is a rock. A weapon is a sharpened screwdriver. A weapon is half a ton of fertilizer and some other stuff. A weapon is person with a book and a vision and the ability to force other people to see themselves as expendable. Fuck you. Stop pretending that weapons R&D is a catch-all bogeyman and get a fucking grip.

Oh gods. So.

Monica and Agent Woo meet up with Monica’s engineer friend who just so happened to be able to provide her with a twenty-ton neutron, photon, peon, and moron-shielded mobile shelter to re-enter the barrier, in secret, without Hayward knowing about it.

It’s some army Colonel, in uniform. What the everliving hell. Explain to me how you were exactly able to commandeer this really expensive and important piece of MILITARY EQUIPMENT without Hayward’s approval? Without Hayward’s knowledge? How…wha…???? People, when your cartoon reality show has better internal logic than your “real world” events, that is BAD WRITING.

The Colonel is a woman of color, but that’s really just a cherry on the top.

OH WOW HA NO IT ISN’T. SHE CAME AS A FAVOR TO MONICA BECAUSE SHE KNEW MONICA’S MOTHER. Golly. I’m imagining S.W.O.R.D 2.0, under Monica, being run as a gal-pals network. And I’m imagining how, while this is going to be written as The Best Thing Ever, having all these Stronk Women in charge!, what I’m thinking is what is going to happen when these completely unprofessional and incompetent widgets get mad at each other for refusing to share makeup tips or one department buys out all the Warm Beige concealer.

Do I hate women characters? Fuck no. I just hate having to watch unlikeable, incompetent, condescending, personality-less womannequins who are IN CHARGE because everyone else is sooooooo much worse. Explain to me why I should like watching a show where everyone is merely a different shade of unlikable and incompetent?

Back at the circus, Vision is trying to break through to Darcy and finally does. Explain to me why he didn’t start with the de-brainwashing zap? They get interrupted by a guy in striped tights, who attempts to grab Darcy but soon finds what REALLY happens when you try to chain down a strong woman. But what makes this scene really, really, really terrible is watching Darcy waddle-run away afterwards. What the fuck. That’s not even a girly-girl run, it’s an old-lady-in-long-skirts-who-just-stole-the-last-piece-of-pie run. What. Why was that shot even left in the show? It makes no sen…whatever, nothing matters. Never mind.

Back over at Wanda, the house glitches some more. She admits she doesn’t know what’s going on and how to fix it. Aand now we hear a voice answering her! “Do you think this is maybe what you deserve?” Wanda freaks out, because the…audience? isn’t supposed to answer back. It might be worth pointing out that the voice asking that question is  male.

And then there’s another one of those ads. It’s for Nexus, the medication which can solve your existential ennui by anchoring you to reality. Or A reality. (So….like inferior dried frog pills, then?) Side effects might include demonic possession.

Meanwhile, Agnes and the boys are on her couch. Red Twin (why is only one of them allowed to speak?) says he likes it there with Senor Scratchy…because it’s quiet in her house. And so is Agnes. Agnes starts paying a lot more attention to Green Twin at this point, because she’s not going to be the one who tells the ten-year-olds with magical powers that their mother is insane.

Monica, meanwhile, is getting suited up. I’d mock the show’s efforts to paint her as a trailblazing astronaut-equivalent, but at this point what I really want is for this damn episode to go back to Wanda. And Vision. The main characters. The ones who have personality, motivations, desires, and conflicts. The people I actually care what happens to. Oh, and Agnes, because Agnes is interestingly wacky even when she’s going to turn out to be the villain.

OH MY GOD, WOO SAYS “GODSPEED, CAPTAIN.” Goddamnit, she is not trailblazing in unknown frontiers, she is not that special, and she is not freaking interesting! If you wanted to make her any of those things, you should have started by letting her be any of those things. Incidentally, whatever did happen to the guy S.W.O.R.D. sent in through the sewers in the first episode?

So Monica takes off in the rover (at quite a clip, one might add), only to crash right into the barrier and stick. Agent Woo recognizes that the rover is being re-written, and radios Monica to get out. She jumps clear (somehow losing her helmet?), as the rover gets ejected….as a jacked-up pickup.

Monica then (sans helmet) walks through the barrier on her own instead. Because, as the voiceover helpfully informs us, she’s is the most powerful person they know. Also, her eyes have turned blue and she’s seeing energy fields. She ditches her suit (AFTER ALL THE TIME THEY SPENT CLICK-CLACKING YOU INTO IT, THAT WAS KIND OF FAST) and takes off running. I’d also like to point out two things at this point: a) her under-suit is bicolored, kinda like a superhero costume (hmmmmmmmmm), b) it’s not really a flattering costume.

We cut back to Vision and Darcy. Darcy is providing unhelpful and unusuable exposition regarding Vision’s death. They keep running into random red lights, road crews, etc. Vision tells the audience he feels Wanda is trying to keep him away from home….and he’s not amused. You keep that spine, boy. It’s all that you’ve got going for you.

Vision wants to know what he is now, after his physical body was killed. Darcy, being a scientist with a STEM degree and lots of important, plot-relevant science skills, provides a very unhelpful affirmation of their love storyline. And Vision finally, also, breaks with the TV-style plot and decides to head out on his own, to go do what needs to be done.

Monica crashes into the WandaVision residence and immediately gets ejected….except that Monica manages to get through to Wanda that it is HAYWARD’s fault, HAYWARD has done this, HAYWARD has manipulated her into becoming THE VILLAIN, HAYWARD is going to burn down the town, ARE YOU READING ME WANDA, THIS IS HAYWARD’S FAULT OVER.

I can’t do this anymore. That’s it. I’m done with this show.

Anyhow, yeah, Agatha Harkness. Whatever.

WandaVision S01E03 – Now in Color – Recap/Rundown

wandavision-ep-3

So. Our heroes are back, and it is now the 70s. Also, in case you didn’t remember or notice, in color. (Man, I kinda love the 70s aesthetic. It’s so terrible and yet everyone wearing it is completely dead-convinced it and they are completely cool.)

Wanda, the doctor confirms, is definitely Bearing Fruit. Vision is resistant to the idea that he is having new-father nerves, since his nerves are of steel. (VISION, WHY DON’T YOU SEE THE DOCTOR OUT AND STOP SUGGESTING SILLY THINGS LIKE YOU NOT BEING A CARBON-BASED, HUMAN, FRUITFUL MALE?)

The doctor has been planning a vacation in Bermuda but he’ll be back in plenty of time when things start to happen. Sure he will.

Incidentally, the black afro guy (Herb), is hanging out by the garden wall, trimming his hedges in a highly suspicious fashion.

Anyhow, the pregnancy is progressing at suspicious, nay, supernatural speed….given that it’s been about twelve hours and she’s already feeling kicks. Vision estimates that it’s going to be due Friday afternoon, but then the next scene is Braxton-Hicks contractions and a mysterious power surge/outage occurs.

Wanda wonders aloud if it’s obvious that it’s their fault….they’ve had so many close calls and slip-ups and come so near to accidentally revealing their powers. Vision starts to agree with her that there is something really strange and really something is wrong here….and then there’s another time-unwind blip and he just snaps into comforting her instead.

Then there’s a oh-so-hilarious scene of them doing breathing techniques together, Vision from approximately four feet off the floor.)

(And then an indoor rainstorm heralds Wanda’s water breaking, which isn’t particularly funny but which is followed by a scene of them hiding under the living room table, which is.)

And then there’s one of those really-terribly-apropos ads of a stressed and overworked mother: would you like to get away from it all….?

Vision runs to fetch the doctor while Wanda practices breathing at home and then the doorbell rings. The nice black lady (Geraldine) needs to borrow a neighborly bucket while Wanda tries to hide the fact that the baby is arriving nine months early.

Aaaaand then the stork arrives. What’s more, it’s resistant to Wanda’s attempts to magic it away, and….I’ll admit, I did lol when it hid next to the mural on the wall. Anyhow, Geraldine ends up delivering little Tommy.

Shortly followed by little Billy.

Outside, the doctor leaves on the note that he doesn’t think he’ll be able to get away, after all. Small towns, you know. So hard to…escape.

Meanwhile, Agnes and the black afro guy are hanging out by the garden wall, being suspicious and asking questions about Geraldine.

Inside, Wanda reminisces about her missing twin brother to Geraldine, and starts singing a lullaby in Russian/Sokovian. Geraldine says: “He was killed by Ultron, wasn’t he?”

Outside, Agnes says, Geraldine doesn’t live in their neighborhood. She has no home.

Inside, Wanda is not happy about this development. Also, Geraldine’s necklace has a sword on it. (Actually, it looks like an inverted cross or an ankh, but never mind)

Outside, Herb is about to spill some sort of beans (“She came here because we’re all–“) when Agnes shuts him up hard, and is apparently genuinely scared at the prospect.–not that she’s about to let Vision see this.

Inside, Vision finds that Geraldine’s gone, honey. She had to rush home.

We cut to: a town sign that says “Westview” and Geraldine getting expelled physically through some sort of barrier, to which jeeps, trucks, and helicopters immediately rush in.

I somewhat like this show, and it’s entirely based on the fact that I’m not entirely sure what’s going to happen next.

Love and Destiny – Final Episode & wrap-up thoughts

screenshot-2019-07-31-at-10.28.02-pm

So it’s episode 60 and OK HERE WE GO. I’m pretty darned sure this series is going to have a happy ending, but honestly…

So back at Fuyun Hall, Yun Feng is pacing and Ling Xi has just swept in. She faces off at the door (Yun Feng braces) and says: Are you really not going to come back for Qing Yao? She’s drunk and in pain and you hurt her multiple times–beginning with the loss of her first husband and now you’re still hurting her to this day–High God Yun Feng!

And then she blasts the doors open. (took you long enough, girl.)

Yun Feng is standing there with his head hanging. But he tells Ling Xi it’s no use, Jiu Chen is gone. Ling Xi has to yell at him to tell her the freaking rest.

So cut to: Ling Xi at the black hole portal. She says: I should have known you’d do something like this. Duty is everything to you, isn’t it? And you left without even saying anything to me?! Not even any message with Yun Feng?!

Meanwhile, Jiu Chen is having little success guarding the portal on his own, even when he poofs extra hard.

Meanwhile, Yun Feng is addressing the Emperor…he’s going to take on responsibility. And Qing Yao crashes the party. Slap him Qing Yao!

HAHAHA SHE DOES AND STORMS OUT. AND LOL LORD BAISHAN STANDING THERE TELLS HIM GET GOING AFTER HER BOY RIGHT NOW.

So he does and she beats up on him for a while. He says: do it! You can kill me and it’ll stop hurting then.

But finally they hug and he apologizes. Well that was easy.

Ling Xi, meanwhile, is at her Phoenix Queen desk, doing stuff. Oh, it’s the succession decree. Is…is she going to go down into the black hole, too? She takes off her fancy robes and her queen jewelry (good, she looks better in her old clothes, with her hair down, honestly), and YEP. She’s at the portal and dives in.

Jiu Chen sees the flashing lights as she beats off some of the black smoke ghosts and looks up…they spot each other.
He says: Why are you here!?
Ling Xi: smiles slightly.
He yells at her and tells her no one said she could come!
She holds up the marriage contract, hah.
They hug.

Meanwhile, Demonized-Jingxiu is doing something with a box of….leaves? Demon leaves? Huh? Dude, I used to like you. He’s sad that Ling Xi chose Jiu Chen. Aw. So sad why oh why did she not give him a chance instead, it’s not faaaaaaair! DROP DEAD JINGXIU IF SHE DIDN’T LIKE YOU WHEN YOU WERE HUMAN SHE WOULDN’T LIKE YOU WHEN YOU’RE EMITTING BLACK SMOKE. Anyhow, he decides he’s going to destroy the world, then, “and it’s Ling Xi’s fault.”

So Jiu Chen says: well, we have to stay on guard down here. And, by the way, we’re stuck.
Ling Xi says: Well, let’s finish up that marriage ceremony quick, then. All that remains is the bows. BTW, the scenery down here ain’t that bad. And it’s in a well-trafficed area, at least: everyone who dies passes through…

So she kneels down and announces her wedding vows. And now they’re married!

Jiu Chen says: well, um, OK then.

Meanwhile at the Phoenix Border, Shi San (in men’s clothes) comes over to look for Ling Xi. But the new king, Changting, has sealed the borders. And then Demonized-Jingxiu arrives. Shi San draws her spear and stands ready to fight. It ain’t a fair contest, but she did try.

So, Hell on Earth commences, spreading outwards from the Phoenix Tribe territory, and passing Peach Blossom Forest. The delegation from Heaven poofs in fairly quickly, and Si Ming and Qing Yao go to Shi San. Thunder delegates the efforts to check things out.

Meanwhile down below, Demonized-Jingxiu poofs in to pay his respects to the lovebirds. And the worst thing about it is that he still has his polite, earnest way of speaking. Anyhow, they have a philosophical discussion on what exactly demons are.

They say: you’ve become a demon. He says: everything’s a demon, really.

Lol, Jiu Chen’s skeptically stoic face on hearing this.

Ling Xi says: Jingxiu, turn around. It’s not too late.
Jiu Chen says: …yeah. Do that, Jingxiu.
Jingxiu says: Nah.

So Jiu Chen turns into a white dragon and Ling Xi turns into a phoenix and Jingxiu turns into black smoke and they fight. Much CGI. Pretty colors and flashes.

Jingxiu has that retarded looking demon king sword now, but Jiu Chen also has his own sword and Ling Xi at least has power to be fighting the ghosts, too.

And then Jiu Chen bladelocks with Jingxiu and STABS HIM AND THEN GOES OVER TO THE PORTAL AND PULLS HIM THROUGH. Ling Xi yells for him to come back out, and Jingxiu gloats: she is not going to do it.

Jiu Chen says: I AM GOD OF WAR AND YOU ARE QUEEN OF THE PHOENIX TRIBE. DO WHAT I TELL YOU SEAL THE GATE.

She screams and does it. (Jingxiu’s “oh shit” face, though.)

And, for good measure, a quick flashback to them JUST AGREEING that they were married and won’t be separated AGAIN, ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY’RE LOCKED IN THE SPIRIT ABYSS. Gah. There’s still twenty minutes left. There’s still twenty minutes left! (But at least he promised that no matter WHAT, he’s going to return. Tell me how this spirit abyss thing works, then, hmmmm?)

There’s still twenty minutes left! I’m still holding out for a happy ending for EVERYONE INCLUDING BAOQING AND STUDENT REBEL DAMN YOU ALL.

What, wait? WHAT? Three hundred years later?! WHAT? HOW COME LING XI GOT OUT OF THE ABYSS??

Where is this? HUH?

OKAY, SO: Ling Xi is at Fuyun Hall (home of the former god of war) and meets the new HuaYan, who is spunkier and brattier than the previous version…but who is interested to hear that this is the lady of the house. ALSO LING XI HAS A KID OH GOSH. It’s a girl? And, ahahaha, the kid asks why HuaYan is in Daddy’s house because with the exception of Mom, all the women who hang around Daddy are bad people. HEH.

AAHAHAHAH WOW PERFECT HuaYan is the disciple of Cultivator’s disciple (you know, the dumb apprentice of the dumb apprentice who forced Jiu Chen to take him on?!) Ling Xi just says: if you need anything, look me up at the South Pole. I’m glad to see you–you’ve changed a lot.

HuaYan, of course, is puzzled.

In Peach Blossom Forest, meanwhile, Qing Yao and Yun Feng are planning to go see Shi San’s transformation ceremony. She didn’t die when Jingxiu hit her, apparently…but QY is more worried about Ling Xi. Well, it’s only been three hundred years…

Baby Girl is also anxious to meet this Shi San. Hah, Ling Xi doesn’t allow Yun Feng to babysit Baby because he fed her wine last time and she slept for twenty days.

Si Ming is also there–he’s been guarding Shi San in her fish form, heh. So they don’t really know whether or not she’s going to come back and what form she’s going to come back in. Also, Yuli is there and she giggles when Military Bro says something slightly amusing, so that’s nice, maybe they’ll get together after all.

And then Shi San poofs back in! As a mostly-human, but also with blue skin, gills, and giant ears. Why does a fish have ears? Also, she’s apparently lost her memory, because she doesn’t recognize Si Ming. Poor guy! Or any of the other people. Aw.

Ling Xi says: don’t worry. You’ll get to know us, and it’ll be fine.

But her smile has sadness in it, as well, well, of course it does.

Back at the South Pole, Ling Xi, Baby Girl, and Antler Puppy discuss things. Heh, Baby Girl wants to be a boy who kills enemies on the battlefield like Uncle Military Bro. Ling Xi just tells her that girls can kill enemies, too, don’t worry. Baby Girl wants to go out and practice, ahaha, with a little toy sword from a GIANT RACK OF TOY WOODEN SWORDS, lol.

Ling Xi is cleaning up a very long line of scattered toys on the ground when she notices that they’re in fact lined up and pointing somewhere…AND THERE’S THE KNOT CHARM!!!

Jiu Chen is getting interrogated by Baby Girl! And he’s got a really lame smile for Ling Xi when she catches up with them. But aw, they have a family hug (and Antler Puppy is there, too, even better). And they all go home together.

The…end…

609

FUCKING WORDPRESS WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO PUT CAPTIONS ON THE IMAGES. SO ANYHOW. LEFT TO EFFING RIGHT: Yuli, I think HuaYan but maybe Shi San, Yun Feng below her, Si Ming in the green robe, Qing Yao, and then The Emperor. Middle is Jiu Chen and Ling Xi. I think the Old Dude is Teacher. Yuan Tong is in white and Jiu Chen is in black with the head tattoos. The Phoenix Queen is to his right and Baoqing is in red behind her. SERIOUSLY WORDPRESS YOU SUCK.

Heh, and the subtitle team introduces themselves as “state immortals”. Aw, well, these guys earned it.

Well. Frankly, I think the last ten or so episodes were completely unnecessary and poorly constructed. Ling Xi had very little relevence in her own story; Jiu Chen failed to develop further as a character and in fact backslid into worse, dumber, less interesting person than he was before. Jingxiu, while it’s understandable that he ended up evil, given his character and circumstances…is still pretty disappointing considering that it’s FREAKING YUAN TONG who mediates his fall. I don’t even want to talk about it.

And let us discuss Yuan Tong. What a freaking extraneous person. Usually the characters created to be hate sinks–the people who have no purpose except to hate, hinder, hurt, obstruct, and confuse the hero–are male. Yuan Tong doesn’t really benefit from being the exception to the rule, though….past the first arc, when she had a defined, sympathetic purpose that she was going to undefinable and unsympathetic lengths to attain, she’s completely and utterly useless. I did seem possible that she might redeem herself by hard labor and much suffering when she got demoted but still given the chance to serve in the army…but she very quckly quashed that thought by being an unmitigated snake–who has no purpose other than to be obstructive, hurtful, and a hinderance to the hero and so does nothing freaking else. So we have a snake who isn’t even an interesting snake. And, at the end when, as an exile, she gets a chance to do something else not connected to the hero (find and/or create the new Demon King)…she blows that, too. And then dissolves, or something. Completely useless. Completely disappointing.

And, what about Baoqing and Student Rebel? Baoqing definitely started off as an intriguing character and there was plenty of space to build her into something.–I mean, if you have a princess who was found as a baby on the back of a random giant turtle, something’s gotta give, right? And while she was bratty and somewhat of, yes, a psychopath, she was also naive, cute, and enthusiastic. In other words, she had a distinct personality that other characters reaced to, and she also didn’t actually murder anyone we really knew. What I really also liked is how she and Jingxiu played off each other: enthusiasm but naivity versus patience and tolerance…that sometimes shades into impatience (with tolerance.) I REALLY LIKED THEM, OK? And given the hints of the romance between her and Student Rebel, the fact that he straight-up disappeared and she GOT KILLED BY HER BIG BROTHER for no freaking good reason at all, is extremely and entirely upsetting to me.

And Student Rebel doesn’t have much of a personality, but he did have a potentially good arc–a student of the Good Guys who for reasons of personal loyalty serves the Bad Guys but then falls in love with the enemy, not to mention befriends the triple agent working for the Moderately-Good Guys, and slowly decides to give up on the revenge business and then finds it ain’t that easy. That’s pretty solid! You can hang a lot on that framework. But instead he just gets straight-up dropped. And it’s not like there wasn’t enough time to develop it, this series is sixty episodes long and about fifteen of them are romantic filler-slash-fluff. I mean, not that it was low quality fluff, but it was still fluff.

And…well, that’s what I have for complaints. This was a pretty good series and it made me happy for almost a whole month while serving as a tiger intern.