Definitely not a recipe blog: cornbread with stuff

Oven to, uh, IDK, 375ish. (F)

• 1 cup cornmeal
• 1 cu….eh, close enough, flour
• 1 tbsp….come on, seriously…baking powder
• salt. Yeah, just go for it. You might try taste-testing the combined dry ingredients to see if it’s good enough. Just make sure to observe all proper aceptic procedures whilst so doing.
• 2 tbsp brown sugar

Combine dry ingredients, and then add wet ingredients.

• 1 cup buttermilk  (aka: greek yogurt)
• 1/2 stick butter or margarine
• 1 egg
• vegetables of choice, chopped (I use bell peppers and onions, primarily. Someone more heat-tolerant might add jalapenos)
• cheese of choice (such as: that $1 bottle of fake Parmesan from the discount grocery)
• meat or meat substitute of choice (assuming that the fake bacon lasts long enough to be added to the recipe, that’s the best choice.)

Actually you should probably add the add-ins before you add the buttermilk, eggs, etc. Anyhow, mix and bake immediately. It’s extremely good with salsa and scrambled eggs.

Random protip: collapsible silicone baking dishes, when no longer hot, can be collapsed to serve as a plate.

Real Life Intrudes

I’ve landed a job (if they don’t change their minds….what, stranger things have happened….) and have to relocate. Posting is going to be either very light or very automated for the next couple of weeks.

The job starts on Oct 1. Me: Oh good, I won’t have to ask for time off to read Battle Ground.

Just a couple of recipes, I swear

Now that I’m officially off quarantine (ahaha) I’m allowed back into the house and have access to an actual oven. The downside of this is….well, I’ve been getting really bored, especially when storms knock out the internet. So:

Savory vegetarian eggplant turnovers (12-15 small pies)

Fillings:
– 1 medium eggplant.
– ½ an onion, chopped fine or shredded
– ½ a bell pepper of your preferred color.
– Other vegetables: I think that shredded cabbage, potatoes, mushrooms (things with a fairly neutral flavor) would work. Me, I was using what was on hand.
– ¾-1 cup Morningstar Griller Crumbles. You could substitute TVP; rehydrating it in some stock would probably help.
– 1-2 glugs BBQ sauce. (Y’know, when the bottle’s mostly empty and you thump it a couple of times and then shake it hard)
– 2 tsp Better Than Buillion or stock flavoring of your choice in about ½ cup water. Alternatively, use straight stock.

Crust:
– 1 smallish potato
– 1-1/2 cups flour (add the first cup, reserve the rest till as needed. I didn’t measure precisely)
– 1/4ish cup water
– 1 or 2 tablespoons of oil (I used mayo…because the jar was standing right there)

Assembly:
– Prep your potato first, either by microwaving it for about 3-5 minutes, or boiling it. I dunno, it’s up to you. While that’s cooking, make the filling.
– Dissolve the buillion in water in a large-enough pan and put on stove to heat up. Do this just before you finish with the eggplant or even afterwards.
– Dice the eggplant evenly into small pieces. Place in pan and cover so it steams in the stock.
– Prep the onion, bell pepper (plus or minus other veggies) and fake meat crumbles. Throw them on top of the eggplant. Stir to mix and cover again.
– Keep an eye on the pot and add more water plus buillion if it’s getting low. I cooked it until the eggplant lumps were nice and soft and the peppers were tender.
– Dough: peel and mash the potato in a bowl. Add a touch of water and the oil to it until it’s at proper mashed-potato consistency. Add 1 cup of flour and mix to “breadcrumbs” stage. Add a little more water to bring it together, and a little more flour to keep it nonsticky.
– Stick it in the fridge for about twenty minutes while you run out to put the goats away.
– Oven to 350, prep your countertop for rolling the dough. It’s pretty sticky, so flour it generously and keep your hands floured, too. This dough is really stretchy and can be rolled out quite thin.
– Make cut-outs, place filling by spoonfuls on it, fold over and press edges to seal. DON’T get greedy and put too much, they really do need to close and seal to come out properly.
– Bake for, uh, until slightly browned on top and dough is set.I’d guess about 20 minutes with the oven preheated.
– They’re pretty good!

Pasta with lima beans andn stuff in it (1&1/2 servings)
– Pasta (such as a brick of ramen, but any kind will do)
– 2 tbsps of peanut butter OR peanut butter powder
~ 1 tbsp of soy sauce
– 1 cup lima beans
– 1/2 cup each mushrooms, onion, bell pepper
– 1 glug sesame oil

– I typed out the directions for this TWICE and WordPress deleted it both times. I mean, seriously, it’s not hard to figure out.
– It’s delicious but potentially only when you’re extremely hungry.

Cool beans: new, *solo* Cannonball Run record

Someone just drove from California to New York in 25 hours. All right, 25:55, but that’s still an average of 108 mph….with only one stop for gas and no cops. And he even claims to have used his CB to talk some truckers into moving for him. That’s awesome.

Quite a lot of people have been taking a whack at the Cannonball Run lately, possibly because lockdown has emptied the roads a little, probably because lockdown has scrambled their brains to the point where it seems like a good idea.

But while most of us were twiddling our thumbs at home during the COVID-19 closures (or mourning the loss of our jobs, or dying), a handful of scofflaw endurance drivers were busy making tracks from New York to L.A. Several of these were solo runs, and those of us in the know watched, amazed, as the time it took one person to drive 2800 miles nonstop plummeted from the low-to-mid-30s to just under 28 hours. Even those times, set only a few months ago, were blown out of the water recently when Fred Ashmore, 44, of Hancock, Maine, rented a Mustang GT, removed its passenger seats and other interior accessories, strapped in enough extra fuel tanks to bump the car’s capacity to around 130 gallons, and made the trip from the Red Ball garage in Manhattan to the Portofino Hotel & Marina in Redondo Beach with only one stop for fuel.

Oh yeah, and he did it in a rental car and barely spent any money on it.

Ashmore’s effort shines as an example of extreme frugality. He says he didn’t spend more than $3000 on his whole trip, including the car, its strapped-in, Facebook Marketplace-sourced fuel tanks (and fuel), and the electronic countermeasures that have become de rigueur for anyone wanting to drive at these speeds without landing in jail.

Mind you, some people aren’t that appreciative.

“There are so many of these runs now, it’s hard to think of anything to say,” he said. “What is this, like the 47th one this year? I don’t want to take anything away from Fred, but I just want six months with no records.”

Heh.

I swear, not a recipe blog

Still, I thought I’d record my genius make everyone else suffer share. I’m living with nothing but an electric kettle, hot plate, and a microwave for cooking right now, and this plus some dietary restrictions (low-moisture breakfasts!) is slightly cramping my style. But I’ve been able to make some discoveries regardless.

Microwave Savory Sweet Potatoes –
– 1 sweet potato
– ~1/4 cup cottage cheese
– Curry powder — about 1/2-1 tsp
– Garlic powder — look, I dunno, I just eyeball it. If it looks like enough, then that’s fine.
– Ginger powder – just a pinch
– Salt – I put a lot because it’s what draws out the other flavors.

Wash and dice the sweet potato in small chunks. Place in a microwave-safe dish.
Add salt, stir to coat, and microwave until softened. Microwave in increments of 2-3 minutes, stirring at least once to redistribute/cook evenly.
Add cottage cheese and spices.
It tastes pretty darned good.

Microwave Protein Sweet Potatoes
– 1 sweet potato
– ~1/4 cup plain or vanilla yogurt
– Protein powder of choice
– Salt
– Cinnamon
– Sweetener of choice if using plain yogurt/if needed.
– (You can also throw in some nuts for crunchiness)
– ((You can also throw in a spoonful of peanut butter if you like.))

Prep the potatoes, add the other stuff. It’s actually quite tasty.

Microwave scrambled eggs
– Scramble the eggs thoroughly, and they won’t explode. Experiments indicate that eggs might also be possible to cook in the shell, but I only have the one microwave and I don’t want to push my luck.
– Adding a splash of vinegar and soy sauce is really good.

Stoveless pasta hack:
– Turn on the hot plate a few minutes before so it gets up to temperature.
– Boil water in the electric kettle,
– Add pasta to pot,
– Pour boiling water into the pot and place on the hot plate.
– It’s WAY faster than even using a regular stovetop.

Green tea hack
– Add a ginger, tumeric, and a very small pinch of cumin to make green tea taste tolerable.

Ranch dressing hack (?)
– You can sprinkle a packet of that ranch dressing seasoning directly on your veggies if you’re really hungry and too tired to bother, no need to mix it with mayo and stuff first.

In conclusion: poor people food tastes really good when you’re hungry.

Scorecard #2

– 260 traps
– 2 counties
– Still no turtles
– One puppy
– One “I’ve shot people for less,”
– One “OHGODI’MGOINGTOGETREARENDED”
– One lady at a gas station who recognized me
– One hundred and twenty-five milligrams of caffeine*
– TEN POINT SEVEN FIVE FRIKKING HOURS

* WHICH IS NOT NEARLY ENOUGH CAFFEINE

Scorecard

– One hundred and eighty-six insect traps
– Two flat tires
– Three tire shops
– One state park
– Four conservation areas
– Two floods
– One groundhog killed, zero turtles, squirrels, snakes, armadillos, or skunks
– One raccoon (live)
– One overturned truck
– One tractor
– One carriage
– Eight tickbites
– Ten minutes of overtime
– 3.75 counties
– Two hundred and eighty-one to go

Rules for the Road

– It’s the temperature/humidity/heat index, not the speed limit.

– A “50% chance of thunderstorms” means: 100% chance of rain if you do go out, 100% chance of clear skies if you use your flex time to stay home.

– Spray insect repellant from bottom to top.

– Do not immediately bend down to tighten your bootlaces after spraying your lower body with insect repellant.

– “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“To show the armadillo it could be done.”