Twins of Evil (1971) – Attempted Watch Party

“So Riders, what are we watching?”
“Okay, so, there’s this movie about this man, who is a man of God and he smites evil.”
“Sounds good!”
“And then his nieces show up and he ends up driving them to evil and then he regrets it.”
“Still sounds good….let’s start it!”
“Why are you grinning like that, Riders?”

“Is this old-timey kind of movie?”
“Yes.”
“I mean, is it set in old times, or does it have old actors?”
“….yes.”

“Puritan?”
“I guess.”
“Puritan, right?”
“Yeah, but they have crucifixes and they make the sign of the cross. I think the filmmakers just got confused.”

“Just like that?! Just like that they burning her?”
“Was it like that really?”
“Yes. Unfortunately, in America they did have vigilantes, and they did go around and accuse people and they did burn witches.”
“This isn’t America.”
“….what?”

“Are those real twins?”

“I saw a black man.”

“So who is this man? Him who is fooling around with the girl? Is he a Puritan, too?”
“NO!”
“He is in black and white, too, look.”
“That’s ’cause he’s in his underwear!”
“Oh.”
“That’s a lot of underwear.”

“Oh! They are going to become bad girls. So thus they are twins of evil. I get it now, ahhh.”

“OHHHH HE BETTER NOT GO IN THERE WITH THEM!…phew! He evil, man! He’s the one who needs to be burned at the stake.”
“Well, he’s trying to smite evil.”
“HE EVIL.”

“I mean…I’d personally not be all that fired up about pleasures beyond the grave.”

“He gon’ kill her?”
“….”
“He gon’ kill her? Riders. Put the other one on”
“Yes, Riders what is that other one you said with the soldier who has to rescue his daughter?”
“Aww you guys, we didn’t even get to the bit with the vampires yet!”
“There are vampires in this movie?”